New Digs
The transition has been made: http://bebbet2k.efx3.comFinally Watched the Watchmen
(best played while reading - 'tis long)Much has been written and said already about Zac Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen, so I'll try to keep this brief.
Some have said it holds too close to the novel and what works in one medium doesn't work in another. Some have said they've changed too much and lost the essence of the novel. Some have said the casting is off. Some have said Snyder's style is too flashy and much of it is over the top. Some have said it's too baffling to those who haven't read the novel or misses too much to appease the long-term and passionate fans.
I agree.
To a degree...
Yes, a lot of the dialogue is patchy and brimming with exposition - better suited to a comic than a film - but then, it was no different with Sin City ("She smells how angels aughta smell...") and is forgivable if delivered right...which it wasn't always. Malin Akerman in particular struggled quite a bit, but I don't think that was entirely down to the script. She also features in one of the most comically out of place soft-core porno scenes ever committed to film. I realise the fetishistic appeal of putting on a costume to fight crime had to be highlighted, but it ran about a minute too long (which, in non-porn movie sex scenes, is a long time). Fortunately, the punch-line took some of the cringe-worthy edge off.
In terms of what they did change, the biggest question has hung over the absence of the ‘squid’ in the climax. I understood the reasoning behind this when I first heard about it - again, it goes back to the whole ‘what works in a comic might not work in a film’ thing - but it looked from the trailers that they’d gone for a straight up nuclear catastrophe, which worried me as it would completely undermine the point of Moore’s chosen disaster. Fortunately, this isn’t the case and the new idea works within in the context of the film, without missing the point from the book (though the aftermath is taken in a slightly different direction that isn’t quite as strong).
Along with Akerman, the only other questionable piece of casting was Matthew Goode as Ozymandias. The fact is, Ozymandias is a an imposing man in his 40s, with a perfect physique. Goode is a slim man barely out of his 20s whose costume is moulded to represent a perfect physique. However, physical shortcomings aside, Goode plays the part beautifully. He has wisdom beyond his years, is always cool and calculating and is absolutely believable as the world’s smartest man.
The rest of the casting is perfect, in particular Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach. He’s the most enjoyable character to read in the book and Haley makes him the most enjoyable character to watch in the film.
(so much for keeping this brief)
Snyder’s direction is also pitch perfect, for the most part. The aforementioned sex scene may have been drawn out, but a certain precursor to it, that could have been equally as cringe-inducing, was handled with surprising subtlety. The action, though extreme (and ridiculous) at times, fits in with the context of the film, with only a fleeting reliance on wire-work. The gore may have been out of place, but helped to contrast against the heroes’ now quiet lives, most notably in a scene where Laurie (Silk Specter II) and Dan (Nite Owl II) are accosted by (beat living snot out of) a ten-strong gang. And kudos to him for mostly restraining his love of slow-motion.
As for the question of whether the film will baffle new-comers or disappoint fans, that’s really down to the individual. The introductory montage set to Dylan’s Desolation Row does a decent job of filling in some of the back-story, but the plot still plays out in quite a jumpy fashion. It also feels like it’s moving at a snail’s pace, at times, though that is fortunately made up for.
Personally, I loved it. A brilliant and complex story, told with love (if not always with skill), and an entertaining visual feast.
I’d also like to give a quick nod to My Chemical Romance at this point. Though I enjoyed their cover of Desolation Row, I failed to see the point of it - it’s a fast, heavy-ish scream-fest that could frankly have been a cover of anything - but when it explodes into the film's closing credits, it all makes sense.
**EDIT**
The film actualy opens with Dylan's The Times They Are a-Changing.
This Place Seems Oddly Familiar...
Um...hullo...?This thing on...?
Testing, 1, 2, testing...
*ahem*
My name's Bebbet, (aka Michael). I'm a 28 year-old Creative Writing student from Sunderland, UK, currently studying in Cheltenham.
I'm 5'10", 11st. Brown hair. Blue eyes. Slim build. Pasty complexion.
Intersts include writing, reading, films, music, Xbox, eating, Capoeira, coffee, whiskey and socialising.
I have a full driver's license (3 points), plenty of office experience and hope one day to make a living as a novellist.
Okay, now that reintroductions are out of the way; Hi! :)
Yes, it has been some time since I last posted here, beyond the occasional trailer or music vid. It's ironice really, seeing as I now have a social life. I posted more frequently when I was bereft.
So, yes. Here I am, still at university. Not only that, but I'm doing well!
Well, when I say well; I'm doing okay. My results range from a high of 75% to a low of 50% and I'm currently averaging just below a B grade, but I’m hoping my next few assignments will raise that. Annoyingly, my biggest struggle has been in the two modules I should’ve found the easiest. The problem isn’t so much the writing (though what I handed in last semester was far from my best work), it’s this thing called a Reflective Critical Understanding, whereby I must talk about the influences behind the piece (thin, seeing as I don’t read nearly as much as I should) and the processes and techniques I used when writing it (thinner, seeing as I tend to start writing and see what occurs). Fortunately, now that I’m settled, getting the hang of reviewing my own work and have a broader genre scope to work with, the next assignments for those modules should be far stronger.
Elsewhere, things are faring better. I’ve had to take two Literature modules to fill the yearly requirement, but I got through the first okay, and the second’s going well. I’m taking Screenwriting this semester, which is fun (according to our lecturer, the average mark for the last assignment was mid 50s - which, for a class doing its very first Screenwriting assignment, is a good average - and anyone in the 60s is doing excellently. I got 64% *smug* :) and continuing with Playwriting, which I only took because Screenwriting wasn’t available last semester, but which has turned out to be my strongest module (I apparently have a gift for dialogue).
In terms of personal life; I have one! w00t!! It has slowed a little this semester on account of money being scarce, but I’m still having fun.
The future holds more work and more fun and, hopefully, more posting than I’ve managed in the past few months.
At least I’ve gotten back on top of my post alerts (just because I haven’t commented, doesn’t mean I haven’t read :)
U2 - No Line on the Horizon
For any of my British chums who are interested, Tesco Digital are currently selling U2's new album for £3.97.This be my favourite song from it (forgive the poor quality - it's the best I could find):
Long Lost Movie Moments of Yester-Year
One thing I've found since coming back to university and being surrounded by 18 year-olds is that a lot of the films I consider classics, that I cannot imagine my library being without, are unheard of to the majority of my peers. The Crow, for example.Even the few that have been heard of, have never been seen. I was floored by the number of people who'd never seen Pulp Fiction. Many hadn't seen a single Tarantino film!
The upside is, it's fun to introduce people to my childhood, as I did tonight by watching the original Transformers: The Movie with a friend. Admitedly, I do cringe at some of the overboard 80s cheese, but for the most part, it still makes me giddy.
One thing I hadn't realised before was just how different the theme tune was. Obviously I knew they'd hair-metalled up the original, but only when listening to the two together did I realise what an impressive piece of musical adaptation it was:
It's even received a more modern update:
10 Years of Doctor Manhattan
Does your school look this good?
Click on the pics to see larger versions.
Tag Meme
The blurb: "How this memetic works is that you leave a comment on this post, and I’ll assign you a letter. Then you write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place. When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on."I commented on Twisty's post, and she did give me the letter W (and there was I thinking she was going to make it difficult...). So, in no particular order, these are my ten W things:
1. Writing
This used to say 'weekends', but a quick visit to Wixie's blog reminded me of this most important of Ws! I love writing. I love creating stories and characters to inhabit them. From shorts to novels, every project is a joyful new undertaking, even if that joy is sometimes difficult to grasp in the beginning.
2. Whiskey/Whisky
So good, they named it twice. Well, several times, in fact, but here we're only concerned with the above two names. I LOVE whiskey. I have done for many years. It's warm, it's comforting, it's tasty and it gets me a cosy sort of drunk where I still appear to be in full control of my faculties, despite feeling like I'm floating ever so slightly. The perfect end to any night (when your options are as limited as mine).
3. Wee Free Men
Terry Pratchett's introduction to some of the best characters he's created in a long time. Tiffany Aching and The Nac Mac Feegle are up there with any literary character you can name, and with her third sight, mature attitude, over-sized boots, army of little blue critters and stare that can even make Granny Weatherwax have to put some effort into it, Tiffany will make them curl up and cry.
4. Watchmen
Alan Moore's seminal work was not only a masterpiece in comic-book terms, but has been held aloft as one of the greatest works of literature in modern times. A stunning story of loss, betrayal, intrigue and the end of the world, it kicked the super-hero genre in the nuts, beat it over the head with a lead pipe and set its favourite shirts on fire while it lay bleeding. I cannot wait for the 6th of March!
5. Wikipedia
As well as some of the comical entries people have made when abusing its open editing system over the years, as a student, I've also found Wiki to be a handy source of research. Lecturers balk at the idea of us using it, given how inaccurate it can so often be, but it makes for a fantastic short-cut to research if you use it right. I even got a B for arguing such in an assignment last semester.
6. World of Warcraft
I miss it so...
7. With or Without You
8. Withnail & I
A prerequisite of any student’s DVD collection, it is hilarious, endlessly quotable and the perfect Sunday afternoon/hangover movie.
9. Winter
The season of Christmas, New Year, my birthday, hot-chocolate, whisky by a roaring fire, snow and all the joy it comes with.
10. Winstead, Mary Elizabeth
Of Die Hard 4 and Death Proof fame:
Yummy :)
Augie March
Till I was over on Gyspy's blog, catching up with posts, I'd never heard of them. A few YouTube vids later and I think I've got some shopping to do...Since I haven't posted in a while...
001. Real name – Michael Adam Brockbanks002. Nickname(s) - Bebbet
003. Status – Seated
004. Zodiac sign – Capricorn
005. Male or female – Male
006. Religion - *snigger*
007. Elementary – ...my dear Watson...?
008. Middle School - The same disatnce from the top, bottom, back, front, left and right of school
009. High School – What my American friends call a secondary school
010. Hair color – dark brown
011. Eye color – blue
012. Loud or Quiet - depends on what I'm singing
013. Sweats or Jeans - Jeans
014. Phone or Camera - One and the same
015. Health freak - Hah!
016. Favorite Physical Quality – Eyes
017. Do you have a crush on someone? - Yes
019. Piercing – None
020. Tattoos - None
021. Water or Fire – depends on the occasion
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars - Given the value of the dollar, I'd say love (as if the pound is fairing any better)
023. First fear – Don't remember that far back
024. First best friend – As above
025. First award – Can a birthday cake be classed as an award?
026. First crush – How good do you people think my memory is?
027. First pet – Never had one
028. Car trip - Not right now. I have a seminar this afternoon
029. First big birthday – Yes, the first is pretty big
030. Siblings - Sister
033. Favorite Dessert - Cheesecake
034. Favorite toy in your house – 360 :)
035. Ring? - You'd have to give me your number first (who wrote this thing?!)
036. Favorite Season - Winter
037. Favorite Flower(s) – Self-raising
038. Favorite Spice - Sporty (at least she could kinda sing)
039. Pancakes or Waffles – Waffles
040. Left or Right-handed - Right
041. Virgin? - Depends: Can it reset if left too long?
042. How many relationships have you been in? - barely one
043. Silver or Gold? - Silver
044. Checkers or Chess? - Chess
045. Desktop or laptop? - Laptop
046. Ever been Out of the country? - Yes
047. Where? - Several places
048. Big City or Small town? - Big cities and small towns
049. Favorite Food type - Steak
050. Favorite Drink – Coffe/whiskey (if I ever find a place locally that does a good Irish Coffee, I shall be a happy man)
051. Dogs or Cats – Cats
052. I'm about to – ...what? If you're trying to build suspense, you'd first have to be interesting...
053. Listening to – The extractor fan in my bathroom
054. Plans for today – Buy swim-shorts, go to seminar, go swimming
055. Waiting for - final question
056. Your Height - about 5'10"
057. Contacts or Glasses - Shades
058. Want kids? - some day...perhaps...
059. Want to get married? - I'm flatered, but I already have a busy day ahead
060. Careers in mind – Nope, just the one
061. Rain or Snow - Snow!
062. Gloves or Mittens - Gloves
063. Favorite Girl's Name – Charlotte
064. Favorite Boy's Name – Happy with my own
065. Believe in Magic? - No
066. Soda, Pop, or Coke? - Coke
067. Brain or Brawn? - Brain
068. Prefer Lips or eyes – Eyes
069. Great body or great Personality? - Personality
070. Do you want to be Shorter or taller? - No
071. Do you want to initiate the relationship or him/her? - depends on how things develop
072. Romantic or spontaneous - You can't be spontaneously romantic?
073. Nice stomach or nice arms – stomach
074. Sensitive or loud – Sensitive
075. Hook-up or relationship – relationship
076. Should you be friends first or date first? - depends on how things develop
077. Troublemaker or hesitant – troublemaker
078. Chivalry or not? - Chivalry
079. Favorite Board Game – Trivial Pursuit
080. Lost glasses/contacts – Yes
081. Ran away from home – No
082. Held a gun/knife for defense? - No
083. Killed someone? - Not until I find whoever wrote these questions...
084. Heartbroken – Yes
085. Been arrested – No
086. Done anything illegal - Yes
087. Cried when someone died – yes
088. Cried by yourself – yes
089. Laughed till you cried? - yes
090. Believe in Miracles? – no
091. Believe in Love at first sight? - no
092. Heaven – The club? I've heard of it.
093. Santa Claus - The real one or the robot one?
094. Say 'I Love you' on the first date – Then you're a nutter
095. Sex on the first date - depends on how things develop...
096. Hold hands on the first date – What are we, twelve?
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now – Yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life – Kinda
099. Do you believe in God? - No
100. Is anybody going to take this from you? - Who knows...?
Randomest Cover I've Ever Seen
For those who don't recognise him, that would be InMe's Dave McPherson.
Incidentally, InMe have a fourth album in the works. Joy :)
(no, I don't know what the teddy with pic stuck to it is all about either)
Lesbian Vampire Killers
'nuff said:Could This Work?
A sci-fi alien-invasion movie set in the viking era?It features John Hurt, so maybe...
Best Roll Ever!
Ode to Joy
YouTube's been acting a bit funny recently when it comes to trying to watch a playlist. It used to play the videos one after the other automatically, or at least bring up the next video on the list as the first of the related options. Tonight, I was thrown a handful of completely random vids with nothing at all to do with what I was watching.Naturally, I clicked one, just to see what I'd get:
I shall be doing that more often :)
Ouch
It takes a lot of coordination. They only threw four or five moves at us, but you have to do something called the 'jinga' the whole time, which is sweeping one leg back, with other bent beneath you for balance and your arms in the opposite position for defence. Every move flows from that and are relatively simple in themselves, but stringing them all together is hard work.I also got blisters on both big toes, one of which burst.
Ouch.
Will definitely be back next week :)
Guess what I'm trying tonight...
Here's a hint:I Are Intrigued
Crack the Shutters
One of the best choruses I've heard in a long while:Twocked from Elentari
2008 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?Stayed single the whole year?
Not exactly
Kissed someone new?
Two someones
Done something you've regretted?
Yes
Lost someone?
Not that I recall
Cut class?
Um... :/
Were involved in something you'll never forget?
Yes. Not a staggering event, but eventful for me, anyway.
Visited a different country?
No
Cooked a gross meal?
I can't cook, so probably
Lost something important to you?
Yes, but the insurance money got me through it :)
Got a gift you adore?
My new lappy
Tripped over a coffee table?
Don't think so...
Dyed your hair?
Nope
Came close to losing your life?
Nope
Went to a party?
Yes
Read a great book?
A few
Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
No
Did you meet any new friends this year?
Plenty
Did you dislike anyone?
Yes, but he got over himself
Did you grow apart from anyone?
No
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
Yes, but they sustain, so it's not biggy.
2008: Your BIRTHDAY!
Did you have a cake?
Yes, but not a birthday cake
Did you have a party?
No
Did you get any presents?
Yes
Name some and who'd you get them from?
Lappy and cash from dad
Whiskey, smellies and chocs from Matt and Nina
2008: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year?
Yes
Did you change your style?
Style?
Were you in school?
Still am
Did you get good grades?
Surprisingly, yes
Did you drive?
Until my car was hit by a bus
Did you own a car?
See above
Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. I don;t tend to hang around maternity wards
Did you move at all?
From Sunderland to Cheltenham :)
Did you go on any vacations?
No
Would you change anything about yourself now?
I'm thinking it's possibly about time to get a haircut
2008 WRAP UP:
Was 2008 a good year?
All-in-all, yes
Do you think 2009 will be better then 2008?
Don't you mean 'than'?
I hope so.
I confess that in 2008 I...
() kissed in the snow
(x) celebrated Halloween
() had your heart broken
() went over the minutes on your cell phone
() someone questioned your sexual orientation
() came out of the closet
() gotten pregnant
() had an abortion
(x) done something you've regretted
OTHER
() painted a picture
() wrote a poem
() ran a mile
() shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
() posted a blog on MySpace
() visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
() partied to celebrate the new year
() cooked a disastrous meal
() lied about how old you were
() prank called someone
In 2008 I...
[] broke a promise
[] fell out of love
[x] told a little white lie
[x] lied
[] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[] slept under the stars
[] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[] met one of your idols
[] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[] pretended to be sick
[] left the country
[] almost died
[] given up on something/someone important to you
[] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[] cried over the silliest thing
[] had friends who were drifting away from you
[] had a high cell phone bill
[x] spent most of your money on food
[] had a fist fight
[] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
[x] gotten sick
[x] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[x] became closer with a lot of people
Arise
From Discworld Monthly:| On December 30th it was announced that Terry Pratchett has been
awarded a Knighthood in the New Year Honours list. We would like to pass on our huge congratulations to Sir Terry Pratchett (and his squire Rob Wilkins). |
*salutes*
Birthday (lack of) Shenanigans
And so another year has rolled by; this one - unlike many that have come before it - an eventful one, from completeing college, to starting university, and all of the random crap inbetween.Alas, this birthday - unlike the previous few - is less than eventful. Last year I was in Surrey for a small birthday shindig, followed by a Bond-themed New Year's Eve party, with much drinking and fun on the Wii. The year before that we were in the Black Forest, partaking in some karaoke (which I haven't done since, but want to as it's fun).
This year, I'm at home, having a beer and preparing to watch some DVDs, bought with some of the money I got off my dad (the rest will likely go towards a night out when I'm back in Cheltenham). Though tempted by a few, I eventually settled on just four: The City of Lost Children (an old favourite), Police Squad: The Complete Series (an older favourite), Sweeney Todd (recent genius) and Iron Man (recent greatness (watch the vid - not just another trailer)).
I also got a fancy shower-gel assortment, a box of posh chocs and a whiskey gift-set off friends.
Speaking of friends; it's a pain in the arse being hundreds of miles away from any of them, again. Hence the quiet night in. But, hey-ho; plenty of time to make for it in the new year...
Friend of a Friend
Nicked from little-P (Pixie, that is):1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
For Whom The Bell Tolls (Metallica)
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Atomic (Blondie)
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Coconut Skins (Damien Rice)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Little Thoughts (Bloc Party)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
R-Evolve (30 Seconds To Mars)
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Country House (Blur)
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Pencil Skirt (Pulp)
8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Cup of Coffee (Garbage) - eerie
9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Isobel (Dido)
10 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
You're My Best Friend (Queen) - seriously, I did not cheat!
11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
If We Never Go Inside (Alkaline Trio)
12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Virgin State of Mind (K's Choice) - *ahem*
13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Delicate (Damien Rice)
14 WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
It Ends Tonight (The All American Rejects)
15 WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
It's Gonna Go Away (Korn)
16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Soul Finder (The Blues Brothers)
17 What will they play at your funeral?
Too Tough To Die (The Ramones)
18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I Like Dirt (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
19 WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Guitar Flute and String (Moby)
20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Promised Land (Cast)
21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Guilty Conscience (Eminem)
22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Garden of Serenity (The Ramones)
23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET
White Shadows (Coldplay)
24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Long Way South (JJ72)
25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
The Circle (Ocean Colour Scene)
26 WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Plug In Baby (Muse) - again, *ahem*
27.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Prison Song (System of a Down)
28 IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Messin With the Kid (The Blues Brothers) - some of these don't exactly show me in a good light...
29 WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Drain the Blood (The Distillers)
30 WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Friend of a Friend (Foo Fighters)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Though it's now immaterial...
...it's still worth sharing:Simon Cowell: Can't We Just Beat Him With Sticks?
Okay, so number 2 in the Christmas chart isn't bad for a 14 year-old cover by a dead guy, but the fact that the world (well, this country) must be subjected to the atrocious, overblown, point-missing piece of dog excrement that is the X-Fuckter version is upsetting.Very upsetting.
Interesting side-note: Guess what just missed out on the top-ten this year, coming in at number 12?
Go on, guess...
...
Oh, alright then, I'll give you a hint:
Lapse
My memory sucks. I think I've mentioned as much before (at least to some of you). Sometimes, however, the most bizarre things are retained: Random conversations; the specifics of long passed events; occasionally phone numbers; song lyrics that I haven't heard for years.The only thing my memory's ever been consistently good for is birthdays.
Unfortunately, one managed to completely slip my mind this year, and it wasn't until I heard a TV link mention the shortest day of the year that I realised today is the winter solstice.
And, more importantly, a certain someone's birthday!
So, to those of you who’ve been as absentminded as me (said in the vain hope that I’m not the only one), join me in wishing a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our very own Pixie.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEL!!
- xXx -
- xXx -
(sorry it’s a little late in coming)
As Promised
A more positive post. Enjoy:Another Throat Update (and more)
Last night was a weird one. I think I must've been feverish because I had a string of odd dreams and random images running through my head - none of which I can quite remember - and had to change all of my bedding at 3am because it was saturated with sweat.I woke at around 6:20 and had my first dose of penicillin for the day.
Incidentally, does it strike anyone else as poor planning that I have to take two of those, four times a day, at least 6 hours apart, which means if, in my fevered state, I actually manage to wake at 6 with enough mental competence to take my pills, I have to make it through to midnight before I can take my last batch?
Anyway, I slipped into more mental meanderings for the next two hours before semi-waking and trying to figure out if I really had taken my first ibuprofen of the day and second dose of penicillin as my mind was telling me. The fact that my mind was also convinced it well past midday, despite only being 9am assured me it couldn't be trusted, and a quick count of my pills reafirmed that it was painkiller time.
I've never gotten on well with painkillers. I've always found them to have little or no effect, whatever I was taking and whatever for. This has sadly been reiterated. The paracetamol I was initially taking for the first day and a half after diagnosis did absolutely nothing. I then opted for some extra-strength ibuprofen that I've found take an hour to work and only last two. That means I've got to wait at least an hour once the pain returns before I can take another, but since I can only have three a day, I'm having to space them out further in the hope of getting to sleep at a reasonable time.
These things are supposed to give you such a kicking you're too numb to feel much of anything.
If only.
I was depressed yesterday, partly because of my throat, but mostly because I had to cancel on seeing a friend before she heads off to Egypt for Christmas and New Year. I've seen her once since getting to Cheltenham, and was looking forward to us spending the day catching up, exchanging presents and showing her around the campus. We were supposed to do it weeks ago but, ironically enough, she was ill. To quote Rik Mayall: "Fate deals her cards at me like a capricious boat-whore!" (I love Bottom).
It also brought home how little I've done this semester. Being in closer proximity to my friends than I have been for quite some time, I'd hoped to get in a lot of visiting, but a combination of limited cash-flow and assingment deadlines put pay to that. I'd hoped to join a gym and take up a few sporting activities, but again the money got in the way. I wanted to party the end of the semester away with everyone in my halls and enjoy a big festive meal with the folks I share a kitchen with, but I was laid-up with illness. I looked forward to my first semester with hope and excitement, but have ended up looking back on it with frustration and disappointment.
It hasn't been all bad. I've enjoyed making new friends. I've enjoyed having a social-life. I've enjoyed throwing two of my assignments together in a last-minute panic and getting an A and high B for them respectively. I've enjoyed...certain stuff with...a certain someone :)
But even that ended on a slightly dour note.
At least I've finally caught up with post alerts! :)
Okay, that was a far more depressing post than I intended it to be. Sorry about that, folks. I shall endeavour to write something more festive and jolly before the big day!
Throat Update
Having kept me up most of Thursday night, I went to the docs' as soon as they opened yesterday. Turns out I've got a viral infection :/ I've been perscribed penicillin and paracetamol, but so far, neither has had any effect.More pain, discomfort and sleeplessness last night.
Wrecked this morning.
Want to sleep, but can't relax enough.
Feeling sorry for self.
And On...And On...
Sorry for once again falling behind on my post alerts. I will get around to reading them, but I've been kinda busy and kinda unwell. I had a cold last week that I thought I was over, but it came back with a vengence on Tuesday.
Now my throat is killing me! I've been up since about 3:30 because of it, killing time on Prince of Persia. Speaking of which, get it; 'tis greatness. There have been a lot of complaints from people because of the ease of the game and the inability to die. Yes, it's easy, if you're just running through it to get to the ending. The challenge is in seeing everything and collecting everything. The game itself might only be about 8 hours long, but there are so many 'light seeds' to find (1,001) and so much fun to be had figuring out how to get the more elaborately-placed little feckers that you can get a good few hours more out of it.
On the subject of gaming, I also recently played through the new Tomb Raider. It's not bad but, despite there being a host of new elements, the last two were better. I wrote a full review here.
They just had to go and spoil it
Anyone remember this?Well, a year later, the cover has finally been given an official release, and has even entered the chart at number one. And, despite what I said before, it sucks.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still impressed every time I here the version she sang all those months ago on Radio1. The problem is, whoever produced the single version (probably under the direction of Simon Cowell, who may know what will sell to pre-pubescent girls, but hasn't got the first clue about music) was not and decided it needed work. The result is an over-produced mess with an unnecessary choir and far too many effects, which work to almost drown-out Lewis.
Still, better it retains the number one spot for Christmas than the soon-to-be-crowned X-Fuckter winner...
Direct and to the Point
Jon Stewart and John Oliver telling like it is:The End is the Beginning is the End is the Middle Bit but a bit further along...and left.
So, just to recap, my laptop had a bit of a fit, then was fine(ish) for a while, then had a bigger fit. I had it checked out and was given the painful news that it was terminal :(Today, its replacement arrived :)
It's good to be back!
Quick update
Had my 'puter checked out. The monitor is officially buggered. I'm now wired up ot my TV, which is functional, but far from ideal, predominantly because, even with all settings tweaked to the nth degree, text is still just out of focus, which isn't easy on the eye. It also doesn't help that, because of my room's layout, the TV's behind me as I type, so II have to keep craning around to check what I'm doing.In happier news, I got my result today from my first assignment; a five-minute scene for my playwriting class. I was already confident I'd done okay when the class was told on Friday morning that everyone had passed and the results averaged in the 60s:
| Realistic dialogue, Michael. Good characterization. Aaron has a commanding presence: very visual, theatrical. Relationship is interesting. Good use of silence – something playwrights don’t often consider enough. Good editing from the last draft. Well done.
Mark: 75 (A) |
:)
No, I'm Not Dead
My laptop's monitor, however, is.:)
Bugger...
(this entry coming to you from the uni library)
Hallo, folks!
Hi, y'all. I is here.The past few weeks have a little busy. I've had a few assignments and a lot of reading to do, as well as a lot of boozing and even a burgeoning relationship.
I've managed to keep up with emails and chess, but my blogging has been notably flagging. I currently have 31 post alerts to catch up on.
That, however, shall have to wait (I'm in at 11:15 this morning). In the mean time:
Where'd Everybody Go...?
My laptop's acting up :(This morning it was working just fine; then the monitor randomly turned itself off. Figuring it had just gone into power-save mode, as it does, I jiggled the mouse a little.
Nothing happened.
I hit ctrl-alt-delet.
Nothing happened.
I hit alt-F4, in case it was trying to run a programme that for some reason didn't agree with it.
Nothing happened.
I did a forced reset, the loading screens came up, then it all went dark again. I gave it time...
Nothing happened.
I closed the 'puter to put it on stand-by in the hope it just needed to cool down.
Fifteen minutes later, it was back. Hurrah!
A minute after that, it went off again :/
Getting into a bit of a panic now (since it was looking like I wouldn't be able to access my work) I plugged in my memory stick and quickly copied over my Work file. The monitor went off again right before the transfer was complete, but I gave it a minute or two and stick's light ceased flashing to indicate the completed transfer. I then got it running again so I could safely detach my external hard-drive and disable the network, removed all the cables and closed it up for the day.
Tonight, I opened it again, just on the off-chance. It stayed on!
I thought, perhaps, there might be a corrupted file on my external HD that was sending things screwy, so I opted, to plug the rest back in and possibly see what was what.
I plugged in the power-pack first and, before I could even get the thing plugged into the wall, the monitor went off...
So I went to stand-by, unplugged the power pack and turned the 'puter back on. It has so far lasted through the latest episodes of Marvel/DC: Happy Hour, The Daily Show and Never Mind the Buzzcocks, as well as this post.
Though it's heartening to know there's life in this thing yet, the near-dead battery and the fact that I seemingly can't charge it and use my 'puter at the same time is troubling.
Hence, I may be quiet for a little while...
Oh yeah, and there's this one...
Wires Are For Wimps
Now excuse me while I find a rag to clean the drool from my keyboard...
And Suddenly the World Feels Lighter
It's official: Americans aren't quite as dumb as we all thought.
Good for you.
Underworld 3
Yet another franchise takes a swing at the difficult 3rd film. In this age of franchise trilogies, the format seems to go one of two ways. More often than not, the first film is a breath of fresh air; original, somewhat intelligent and successful enough to have studios and audiences hankering for more. Then things tend to get a little complicated. Either the second film will improve on everything set out in the first, only for the series to fall flat in the third (see Spider-Man and X-Men), or the second will try too hard to improve everything from the first, leaving the third the difficult task of picking up the pieces (see Pirates of the Caribbean and The Matrix).Time certainly seems to be a factor in this. With the former examples, each film was evenly spaced out and treated as a stand-alone project, resulting in due care and attention being paid to the second, and ideas running sadly thin by the time they got around to the third. With the latter, the second and third films were made as one long project, meaning the focus got lost, the second is a mess, and there's barely enough time to right those mistakes in the third.
Underworld, however, is an odd one. The first film didn't enjoy the kind of critical and commercial success of the aforementioned films, but did just enough to warrant a sequel, which I personally thought was superior in every way to the first. When I read that it was infact planned as a trilogy from the start, with one of the films telling the back-story to the whole war, I struggled to see how that could work.
Nevertheless, this is promising...
JCVD
......
More to Watch
Just Another Reason Why I Love New York
New Yorkers showing solidarity for the bankers on Wall Street (as seen on last night's Have I Got News for You):
Resisting Temptation
I'm broke.Okay, that's not entirely true; I still have some savings and an overdraft to see me through to my next loan cheque in January, but with several weeks of food shopping, three months of Mastercard payments, two birthdays and Christmas between now and then, it's going to be tight.
So seeing stuff like this doesn't help matters:
Want.
Can't have.
Bugger.
Still Alive
This be the main theme from the up-coming Mirror's Edge as sung by Lisa Miskovsky (who I've never heard of).
Kinda reminds me of Deep Forest.
How Fast Can You Run Backwards?
A (not very) quiet weekend, all on my Lonesome
My house-mates...well, kitchen-mates (3 shared kitchens to each floor) have all buggered off home for the weekend, leaving things rather quiet around here, so I partook of some retail therapy and finally bought myself Metallica's Death Magnetic, marking my first full album download. Until now, I've been something of a CD purist, liking the feeling of having a hard-copy around, I suppose. Here, however, I don't really have room to start stocking CDs and, besides, downloading it was cheaper.I'm impressed. Following the 90s, in which the band took a turn that attracted many new fans, but also turned many off, the band took some time out, went through some stuff, got drunk, shouted at each other, got therapy, went through some more stuff, got some more therapy and put it all out on St. Anger; the result being a lot closer to their thrash routes than before, but somewhat tentatively received given the often over-the-top rage of the album.
Death Magnetic isn't exactly a calmer affair, but it's a lot more balanced and vastly superior in every way. Hetfield has never sounded better, Hammet's fingers have evidently gotten more pliant with age, Ulrich still revels in beating the living excrement out of his drums and new boy Robert Trujilo is an absolute genius on bass.
Bizarrly, while in Primark, the guy at the counter asked me what I was listening to, I told him, and we ended up having a five-minute conversation about the virtues of Metallica in their 40s.
Random.
Anyway, my second iTunes purchase in as many days came with the news that Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog has finally been released in the UK.
I've just watched it again, and it is still genius!
Also, on a tenuously related note, I went 'round to another kitchen last night to drink, play cards and watch some horror movies: The Evil Dead and Slither (which also stars Nathan Fillion). I've never watched horror films with girls who genuinely scream in terror before. Even Metallica can't match the volume these two could produce. It was hilarious (especially when one darted under the table in sheer terror).
Sorry that's all a bit rush, but supposed to be going 'round to that kitchen now as we're all going to the pub to watch the England match.
Hope you're all having a good weekend!
Mark Steele on Darwin
In relation to my earlier posts about that old book with all the spelling, grammar and continuity errors in it, I thought I'd share a little something by a British comedian I doubt many of my American chums have ever heard. He's sort of the Billy Bragg of comedy:Breathe Me
I'm beginning to admire the musical tastes of those peeps behind the new Prince of Persia game. First they went with a lesser-known Sigur Ros track for a trailer (which I thought I'd posted, but can't find it, so check it out here), and now a bit of Sia:I first became aware of Sia when she sang for Zero-7. On hearing the below track, I bought her album:
I Demand to Know Why Nobody Told Me of This!
...?!
I'm not overly surprised that some backward freak could come up with something like the bible, but who, in their right mind, could possibly follow this horse-shit?Everyone knows the story of Noah; commissioned by God to build an ark to take on every animal two-by-two (or by sevens, depending on which paragraph you're reading) so God can wipe out everything else He's created and start over.
What many of you might not know is the random little incident that took place right after the great flood. Receiving the blessing of The Lord, Noah settles down, plants a vineyard, gets rat-arsed and passes out naked in his tent, where he is happened upon by his son, Ham.
Ham tells his brothers, Shem and Japheth what happened and those two get a blanket and walk backwards into the tent, covering their father while being careful not catch a glimpse of daddy's tackle.
On waking, Noah 'knew what his younger son had done unto him' (that's right; it's Ham's fault dad got smashed and passed-out naked) and curses Ham's son, Canaan, to be 'a servant of servants...unto his brethren.'
So, let's just clarify: Noah - chosen by God to survive the great flood and carry on the species - got drunk, passed-out in the nip and curses his grandson because his son saw him.
People base there lives on this shit!
The Curse of Cain
One of the optional modules I chose for my course is Myth, Epic and Folk Tale, in which we study various old texts that have endured down the centuries and, despite having been reworked and re-edited time and again, have remained influential to this day.Presently, I'm reading the King James Bible.
I've attempted to read a version of the bible before (out of curiosity), but couldn't even get through the first few short chapters before my attention wandered. Whether it's the version I'm reading or the fact that I have some genuine motivation this time, I'm now making better headway and have just read chapter 4.
By now, many of you probably know my standing on religion. No one can say with absolute certainty whether or not there is a god - some almighty creator who started the whole thing - but what I can say with a great deal of confidence is organised religion is full of shit. Everyone single one of them has been built up by a handful of people with an agenda to control the masses, and nowhere is it more evident than in their own teachings.
"You can do this. You can't do that. This group of people (who I just happen to be a part of) are always right and never to be questioned, and anyone who disagrees will be judged and punished by our particular all-powerful ghost (though if wanna take a few shots yourself, it can't hurt your chances of getting into that big glowing cube in the sky)."
That said, if that's what you're happy with and makes you comfortable and you don't try to force any of rhetoric down anyone else's throat, fine. There's no harm in that.
However, there is a particular group within every religion for whom that isn't enough. These are, of course, the fundamentalists.
Fucktards; each and every one.
For example, female VP wannabe Sarah Palin believes of her own gender; "...in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." (Genesis 3:16) All of which seems particularly harsh when Adam's punishment for the same sin - eating of the tree of knowledge - was to eat from the tree of life and live forever, tilling soil and fucking his submissive wife.
Also, only 5 pages in and I'm already finding typos and continuity errors. When referring to God, the rule is to always use a capital - he is He; his is His; etc - so it's a little confusing when He's in conversation with Cain and the lower-case is used, especially when there's no paragraph break for a change in speaker and no quotation marks at all.
At this particular point, having just killed his brother, Abel, Cain is one of only three people in existence (himself and his mother and father, Adam and Eve), so he's talking about when he says, "...I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me"?
It's also worth noting the lower-case of 'earth'. Even if there were more than three people in existence - including himself - he's unlikely to meet any of them wandering around in the ground.
People take this stuff literally.
LITERALLY!!
If it wasn't for one of them being the leader of one of the most powerful nations on the planet, and another poised to potentially take his place, it would be hilarious...
This Really Does Look Exceedingly Cool
Let the Right One In
Ending the Night on a High
So, as has become the norm since returning to studentdom, I was out clubbing last night. Come 3am when it was time to throw out the remaining punters, the traditional kick-out tune was played. Back when I was of an age of clubbing semi-regularly, that tended to be something along the lines of Sinatra's New Yor, New York, or some other swing classic.Last night, it was thi (give it till at least the third verse):
The Fine Art of Debating
In reference to Obama apparently threatening Pakistan, McCain says a president has to be more careful about what he says. Obama responds by repeating exactly what he’d said about Pakistan, which completely flattens McCain’s lazy interpretation, then points out two examples of McCain letting his mouth go - saying North Korea should be wiped off the map and singing Bomb-bomb-bomb, Bomb-bomb Iran. McCain’s response? To once again reiterate his record in the senate (stopping short of certain decisions made regarding Iraq) and telling some irrelevant story about a woman giving him a bracelet at a town-hall meeting commemorating her son who died in Iraq.Less than two minutes after Obama has said the situation in Afghanistan can’t be solved by more troop deployment alone and needs some careful strategy, McCain accuses him of not understanding that it’ll take more than just increased troop-deployment to improve the situation and some careful strategy is needed.
That was pretty much the theme of the whole debate. McCain accuses Obama of something, which Obama casually discredits or puts in context before bringing up two or three examples of McCain doing exactly what he’s accusing Obama of, to which McCain has no reply, or Obama says something that McCain immediately forgets and accuses Obama of having the opposite view.
The only reasoning I can think of for why people can’t decide who won, or even think McCain won, is that McCain appeared to be on the offensive more, while Obama was willing to admit when he was in agreement with McCain, but the fact is McCain was stuck with rehashing his campaign ads, while Obama was responding intelligently and articulately to the questions being posed and the responses from the other side.
Judge for yourselves:
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Usually I would leave the politics to The Big E, but earlier I read a couple of overviews on last night’s presidential debate, which essentially came to the conclusion that both parties handled themselves well enough and it’s difficult to say who came out on top. I’m now halfway through watching said debate and, so far, McCain is having his ass handed to him.Both sides are spewing a lot of rhetoric, avoiding direct questions and criticisms from the other and generally reiterating the agenda’s they’ve been pushing for the last couple of decades (or how ever long this campaign has been running), but the one thing that has become clear is that, while Republicans have commented a few times that a lot of Obama’s proposals are little more than broad-sweeping statements along the lines of ‘This is bad and should better,’ it is, in fact, McCain who’s been spouting words to that effect in the debate.
While McCain talks about keeping up spending in certain broad areas and completely freezing it in others as a result of the recent economic crisis, Obama talks about going through everything with a fine-toothed comb and holding off on the nonessential aspects of some things, while recognising the immediate importance of all of them.
For example, McCain proposes keeping up defence spending, while freezing spending on education, while Obama wants to look at what can be held back on both so he doesn’t have to sacrifice either.
| The problem with spending freeze is you’re using a hatchet where you need a scalpel. |
Obama
I’ve also noticed that, despite prompting from the moderator to do so, McCain is yet to directly challenge Obama on any point, while Obama (after a slow start) has done so a few times to McCain.
I’ll watch the second half tomorrow, but at half-time, McCain’s heading to the locker-room battered and bruised…
I have coffee, Kit-Kats and custard creams!
Mwahahahaha - bow down, fools!*ahem*
I've been aheming a lot lately. 'Fresher's Flu' is in the air and everyone is either coughing, sneezing, sniffling or all of the above. My psychology tutor in college told me that there about 120 variants of the cold virus and once you've had one, you become immune to it. I think everyone's brought their own...
My first week of classes is over and what an interesting mix they are. Monday was Imaginary & Real Worlds in which we read a few creation myths, discussed recurring themes and how they tie in with superhero origin stories (i.e. all’s quiet, something triggers a metamorphoses, there’s a bit of conflict, some kind of resolution, but nothing’s the same again). We were also given a fifteen minute exercise in which to come up with our own creation myth or origin story.
No mean feat!
After that was our first Fiction Workshop, which is essentially the same as what I’ve done in previous creative writing groups, but with a little more specific work involved. That said, last week’s workshop consisted of sharing and discussing our favourite books, films and TV shows. The usual batch was on offer but we then had to think about how those things have influenced us as writers for next week (just a paragraph on each).
We also have to make five observations about anything, just to show that we’re being alert and keeping our eyes open for inspiration.
And we have to take something with us to read aloud and have critically analysed by the group. Fortunately I’ve got a whole portfolio of stuff to choose from :)
Tuesday was Myth, Epic & Folk Tale, which, it turns out, is actually an English Lit module. I left the class kinda daunted by the whole thing. We’ve got quite a long list of stuff that has to be read for the course, the first of which being Homer’s Odyssey for the 7th.
I don’t know if any of you have ever read Homer’s Odyssey. It’s loooong. And I am not a fast reader.
Also, it’s kinda baffling. The whole thing is laid out in a Shakespearean, poetic style and the language and structure make some of the idea hard to follow. All the same, I’m enjoying it so far.
The first assessment for the course is a deep, critical analysis of either that or The Grimm Fairy Tales, involving extensive reading and research. I’ve never been much for research…
Wednesday was something called Learning & Personal Development. Not a lecture, as such, more a way of helping us manage our time when it comes to assessments and seeing how we progress throughout the year.
It is an utter waste of time, which is ironic seeing as the main part of it is aimed at helping us manage what little time we have. They’ve chosen to do this by taking an hour off us every week (two on week three) and giving us an extra assignment to do.
Academics can be such morons.
I was hoping to get to my first mixed martial arts class on Wednesday evening, but GoogleMaps guided me around and around in the wrong direction before leading me to the back of the complex, which was all locked up. On reviewing the map and the satellite photo, I realised I could’ve just walked straight down the main road and found the entrance. GoogleMaps is far more detailed than other map sites (Mapquest didn’t recognise the address I was looking for), but its directions are pathetic)
Thursday’s are my day off. Yay! Every university student gets one, except a select few taking joint courses (that’s joint as in two conjoining courses, not joint as in the first thing that probably crossed a few of your minds on first seeing the word) who don’t plan their timetable well enough.
Thursday was the first Kendo session and I was really looking forward to going along and hitting people (well, being hit more likely) with big sticks, but I was too exhausted from coughing up chunks of lung to make it.
*ahem*
Finally, Friday was Playwriting Fundamentals. Again, this one was a little daunting because quite a few members of the class have done some form of playwriting, performance or drama as part of their A-Levels. I’m one of only two who have no experience in it whatsoever. However, I’m not too scared. As far as I could make out from the class, the trick is to be sparse with details and focus predominantly on dialogue.
I like dialogue :)
Incidentally, I’ve recently been reading R.A. Salvatore’s Vector Prime (the first of the Star Wars: New Jedi Order novels) and have realised that, as good as he is at putting together a good action scene, he sucks at dialogue. Otherwise it’s an enjoyable novel, so far. I hope to have a chance to get back to it at some within the next three years, though my reading lists are telling me it’s unlikely…
Anyway, there are two thing in particular that I find interesting about the playwriting module. First is the performance aspect. Unlike most writing classes where you would read out your own work to be assessed by the class and tutor, we’re essentially required to write scripts that will then be performed by other members of the class, and perform scripts written by other class members.
Secondly, we have no class on the 3rd and 17th of October. Instead we’re off to the theatre to take in a couple of performances. Beyond the odd pantomime when I was young, I’ve never experienced the theatre.
This Monday will be our first Prose Fundamentals lecture, which happens alternate weeks in place of Imaginary and Real Worlds. Hopefully that won’t bring with it it’s own reading list, though I hold out little hope…
In other news, I now have a full compliment of posters adorning my walls. Combined with the vast amount of drinking I did last week and already building stress over the workload, I’m feeling like a true student again!
Staying True to Source
It's often difficult for game-to-film adaptations. Certain things have to be done to placate the fans and certain sacrifices have to be made to make a a good film.We're still waiting for someone to strike the right balance, but some decent efforts have been seen. In Tomb Raider, it was casting the perfect actress for the job (it was just a shame the story was so iffy). In Doom, it was including a full action-sequence shot in first-person perspective (it was just a shame the story was so iffy). In Hitman, it was some beautifully constructed action set-pieces (it was just a shame the story was so iffy).
The apparent supernatural bent being put on Max Payne is looking a bit iffy, but in terms of nice touches, this one is nice:
I particularly like the line, "I knew the sun would come up tomorrow, and I knew I would be alone to see it."
Amazing
I've actually caught up with all of my alerts!Please tell me this is a joke...?!
O...kay...As I mentioned earlier, I can't get a TV signal where I curently reside, so I'm reduced to using the BBC's 'iPlayer' to keep up with my favourite TV. While browsing said site this evening, I came across something that has left me bewildered.
From the network that brought us such greatness as Doctor Who, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and Life on Mars, we get d-list (and below) 'celebrities' dressed in silver lycra, trying to fit through a hole in a moving wall, all in the name of charity and entertainment.
Having browsed YouTube for the above - if only to clarify that I haven't fallen into some whiskey-induced hallucinogenic coma - I've found this exists as a Japanese show. No surprise there.
However, I've also found that there are both American and Australian versions of this incomprehensible shit.
I know our respective societies have been spiralling down the pughole for some time now, but I had, in my most fevered imaginings, never thought we'd fallen this far.
Excuse while I assume the foetal possition beneath my bed...
Fortunate Son
It has been a long time since I had a social life, so it feels kinda strange having my first night off for a week.
As I said previously, last Saturday I was out with friends, Sunday I was driving into the night and Monday I was out with housemates, among others.
Monday was, by some distance, the most exercise I've done for about two years, so Tuesday was spent in some pain. In fact, my calves were sore for two whole days.
Tuesday, my housemates and I stayed in for drinking, chatting and 'getting to know you'.
Wednesday was back out to a club where I got to know one of my housemates particularly well. Before anyone gets any ideas, she has a boyfriend, but we certainly bonded.
Thursday was even more clubbing and bonding, this time involving a stripper-pole. I never knew I could hang upside down from one of those, but I suppose it's something to bare in mind should finances go south...
Returning home at around 2:30, said housemate and I were up for over an hour nattering, eating and nattering, all of which meant I didn't wake up till 8:58 on Friday morning, which, seeing as I was supposed to be at uni to read out the piece I'd written as a result of Wednesday's field-trip at 9:15, wasn't good.
Nevertheless, I somehow made it and all went well. There are some damned good writers on my course...
Eep.
The session fortunately finished early, so I had time to come home and revive myself with a shower before heading back in to take advantage of the free food and drink on offer. Usually these things consist of coke/lemonade and a few sandwiches and canapés. On offer at this one was a free bottle of soft-drink or booze and lasagne (beef or veggie), Chinese or Balti, all piping hot, fresh and beautifully prepared.
I had the lasagne with a bottle of Bud, and a box of popcorn for desert.
With two housemates going home for the weekend, I figured last night would be night off, so settled in with a bottle wine. That was until about 10 when I was invited to one of the kitchens upstairs (there are two on every floor) for a 'Mexican-themed' party (they had rice and and Doritos). The glass or two of wine I planned on relaxing with ended up becoming the whole bottle and it was about 1 when I finally got to bed.
I slept in this morning, did some shopping this afternoon and have just finished eating pizza, drinking coffee and watching Die Hard 4.0 (featuring the above-posted track from Creedence Clearwater Revival). I'm now going to pour myself something alcoholic and watch a DVD before turning in for the night.
No beer and no TV make Bebbet something something...
Fortunately, I have beer, so it ain't all bad.I'm here!
The months of waiting are over and I am, at last, in Cheltenham, ready to start my new life as a student. The past week has been a blur of induction meetings, furniture arranging, quicky-meal 'cooking', getting lost, finding pubs, getting to know people, getting pissed and recovering from getting pissed.
Last Saturday I drove Surrey top stay overnight with friends, to limit the amount of driving I'd have to do on Sunday. Cheltenham is a four-and-a-half hour drive from Sunderland, but only an hour and a half from Surrey. Unfortunately, the overnight stay involved going out for a friend of a friend's birthday, so I wasn't exactly in the fittest of states on Sunday. In fact, I was nursing a splitting headache all day, compounded by not being able to find a petrol (gas) station when the fuel warning light came on, then getting lost in Cheltenham trying to find the campus.
I had hoped to get there early and get away as soon as possible, so I could take my dad's car home.
After moving all of my stuff in and going through a bunch of meetings about accomadation rules, regulations, dos and don'ts, it was 6pm. Stopping off for fuel and something to eat on the way home (I hadn't eaten or had a smidgen of caffeine all day) it was 11:30 when I got home. I had time for a cup of tea and some last second packing before going to bed.
Monday was mostly spent on a train, including a half-hour unscheduled stop thanks to a signal failure. As advised by my head of department, I stopped in at the university as soon as I arrived, which proved to be an unnecessary excursion, but the campus is only a three minute walk from my halls of residence, so it wasn't so bad.
The mess I returned to, however, was bad. I hadn't had a chance to unpack anything on Sunday, so my room was all bags, boxes and lacking floor-space. I made some vacant attempt at unpacking, but once my TV, 360 and 'puter were done, I gave up, made my bed and joined some housmates on a night out.
Several hours of bouncing around a dance-floor and several fewer hours of sleep later, it was time for my first induction session. It was very dull as, it tunrs out, the rest were for the whole week, though Wednesday did see a group trip to the Victoria Art Gallery in Bath to draw some inspiration for a sample project.
There wasn't a lot to see at the gallery, but at least a dozen pieces triggered some form of story in my head. That would have been a good thing if not for the fact we had to deliver the finished piece yesterday morning.
Eventually I settled on a painting called The Bride of Death by Thomas Jones Barker (I've scoured the web for a decent picture, but come up lacking) and wrote this.
It's also worth noting that Bath is, at first glance, a rather beautiful city. When you look a little deeper, that traditional building façades are spoiled somewhat by the over-abundance of corporate logos and construction work, but it's still a very pleasant place to stroll around.
So, here I am. My room's as I want it (though could do with a couple of more posters), I'm getting along well with my housemates (one we never see, but the other four of us have hit it off well), I've been mistaken for Irish three times and everyone thinks I look 22, which is nice.
It's a shame I can't get a TV signal but, with the help of Comedy Central and iPlayer, I'm not missing much, and it does save me having to buy a TV license.
Classes start on Monday. By then I'll have hopefully caught up with alerts...
The Best F**king News Team Ever
Giving a voice to the unheard victims of Gustav (WARNING: Contains image some may find upsetting):(I'm a little behind on my Daily Show watching)
Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur
No, I can't pronnounce it either, but that's Icelandic for ya...I wish there was an English-speaking band that could produce a sound like that. Anyone happen to know of one? I know The Polyphonic Spree come close, as do The Flaming Lips in their grander moments, but there's something majestic about Sigur Rós's sound that I don't think the rest can quite capture.
Last Shadow Puppets
I meant to post this ages ago, but kept forgetting its name :/And It Was All Going So Well
Today started brightly enough. I've been waiting over a week to take delivery of Warcraft III and it finally arrived this morning, along with my new Visa card and the train tickets for the final leg of my move on the 15th.I played through the introduction to Warcraft III and had fun doing so.
Then it all started to go a bit wrong...
Enrolment day at university has always been a messy one. Queue after queue wrapping around a sports hall of tired and frustrated new students all waiting for hours on end to get the relevant forms checked and signed and their ID cards given.
This being the internet age, however, enrolment can now be done online. The first step is to arrange payment of the tuition fees, if it hasn’t already been handled by the LEA (Local Education Authority). Mine hadn’t been so I checked the documentation they sent me to see if it said when they would be.
It didn’t.
Instead it claimed that I hadn’t even applied for them!
Traumatised, I tried to call the student finance direct helpline to find out what was going on, while I checked my online application to see if I’d really been that stupid.
I hadn’t.
There it was, plain as day: Do you wish to apply for a loan to cover your tuition fee costs? - Yes
Trauma turned to confusion and I made sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me by reading it a few times over while I waited in the queue for an operator.
Twenty minutes went by.
Displeased, frustrated and increasingly anxious, I decided to head down to the council offices and speak with the LEA people face-to-face. The woman I talked to looked confused, took my forms, disappeared into an office for ten minutes and returned with the expression of someone about to deliver bad news.
It seems that the LEA will only provide a loan for tuition fees four times and, since I’ve already had it twice before, they’re not going to give it this time and will instead hold it for the second and third years of the course. The £3,145 required for the first year, I’ll have to drum up myself.
I’m pretty sure, if there weren’t people standing around waiting to be dealt with, I still wouldn’t have swung for her, but it did take a lot of restraint not to put my fist through the glass panel behind me.
I tried to get some kind of explanation out of her as to why this restriction would be in place, seeing as they’re loans and are paid back eventually anyway, and why I wasn’t told my application had been unsuccessful a month ago when the decision was made and I might've had some time to prepare, but the best she could do was look uncomfortable and mumble something about that being how their system works.
I spent a coupla more minutes pointing out the gaping flaws in that system, increasing her discomfort in front of the other people she’d soon have to deal withh, before storming off in a bit of rage, leaving, “Nice of the Local Education Authority to completely fuck-up my education,” as a parting shot.
I pondered a little retail therapy and perhaps a large cuppa joe, but was in too bad a mood and chose to come straight home.
After gathering myself for a few minutes, I looked into the fee payment process on the uni’s site. Two instalments are taken in November and January, so I at least have some time to work something out. The measly £500 in my savings isn’t going to cut it, but it’s a start. Regardless, I set up the payment plan and completed the enrolment process.
Wanting to turn my mind to something else, I set about sorting through my DVD collection to figure what’s going with me. Pixie gave me the idea of taking them in a CD carry-case to save room and I fortunately have two; a 33 slot and a 64 slot. Still, deciding what stays and what goes was not easy. Fortunately, series box-sets are more often than not in handy little display-type cases and take up less room, so the few of those I’ll be taking can go as they are. Hopefully there’ll be room for a few more when the boxes are packed.
I don’t think I can afford to buy another case…
I Somehow Missed This
And I'm somewhat relieved:Appealing to Old and New?
With the release of Death Magnetic only a couple of weeks away, the first couple of new Metallica tracks have hit YouTube.First, The Day That never Comes:
Seeing as this was the first track to be released to the press, it's probably going to make some people nervous, especially if they give up after the first chorus as, up until that point, it is very remniscent of their 'Black Album' and Load/Reload days, but as the track moves on, it becomes increasingly louder and thrashier and builds to a dizzying climax. I like it!
Secondly, My Apocalypse:
An IGN review of this is what first made me aware the tracks were now out there in the ethos. In it, the reviewer defended the criticism he laid upon The Day That Never Comes;
| But all the extra verbiage in there about not being able to go back again – yeah, that part is wrong. I was wrong. I am here to admit that. James, Kirk, Lars, Robert, and even Rick – if you are reading this, all I can say is: I AM SORRY. I am coming to you as a man humbled. |
He then goes on to claim that My Apocalypse is possibly the band's best song since Master of Puppets.
Now, this may be a result of my only coming into the band in the days of Load and Reload (I was an ignorant youth; what can I say?), but I personally prefer the former to the latter. It might have a very subdued opening, but the thrash-like ending puts me in mind of the band's progression from then to now, making me think the soft introduction was probably purposeful.
My first reaction to My Apocaplypse, however, was, Messy. Very messy. It kinda reminds me of first hearing Frantic on St. Anger; that almost desperate need to sound as thrash as possible in order to put the the '90s behind them.
That said, the track sounds a lot better on a second listen.
My Brain is Hanging Upside Down
Not only a great song, but quite possibly the best song title in the world, ever. This is The Ramones with My brain is hanging upside down (Bonzo goes to Bitburg).Time To Sharpen Those Claws
Yes, I know; the quality sucks and the cheering is annoying, but this looks no less cool:Late Delivery
Frustrating news in this month's edition of Discworld Monthly:"The bad news is that it looks as if, for various reasons, Going
Postal The Movie will be delayed and shooting will not begin until
the start of next year."
The good and, to my mind, more important news is, they're making a movie of Going Postal!
Moist Von Lipwig is an absolutely brilliant character, but they're going to need someone of immense charisma - who can, in turn, play it down to a whisper - to pull it off.
Also, has anyone out there seen the adaptation of The Colour of Magic? I’d be particularly curious to know how Jeremy Irons measured up as Lord Vetinari, because the role is a significant one in Going Postal.
***EDIT***
A quick browse of Wiki has revealed a little more interesting news. With Nation due out next month, Pratchett has stated that his next novel is likely to be I Shall Wear Midnight; the fourth Tiffany Aching/Nac Mac Feegle novel. I love those books!
And: "Pratchett hinted when questioned during his Wintersmith tour that Esk, the female wizard featured in Equal Rites, may reappear for the first time in this book if it is written."
Baton Idol
Recently, to celebrate the Proms (big classical music event held annually by the BBC), yet another TV 'talent' show hit our screens, this time challenging a group of C-and-below-list celebrities to become orchestral conductors.From the off, this struck me as an interesting prospect. Before watching this show, I knew absolutely nothing about the nutters with batons who stand in front of an orchestra and flail their arms around like they're being attacked by a hive of wasps, so I was intrigued to find out exactly what was going on.
Of course, it turned out to be far more complicated than I expected, which is why I actually find myself admiring the people taking part. As is ever the case, a couple of them struggled to get a handle on what was going on, or failed to take it seriously, and were soon eliminated. Others are making steady progress and two in particular (comedian Sue Perkins and Drum&Bass vet Glodie) are proving to be naturals at it.
Another appeal of the show is the music. They're all conducting very familiar pieces, but I'm learning the names of things I've known all my life, but could never put a name to, and also seeing just how complex a lot of these pieces are. Case in point:
The biggest surprise of the show, however, is Goldie. For my American chums, he was a henchman in The World is Not Enough and British soap fans might recognise him from Eastenders, but he's mainly known as a Drum & Bass producer: Not the sort you'd expect to have a natural gift for conducting classical music - especially as he has no idea how to read sheet music - but his sense of rhythm and ability to break down compositions into a manageable form for himself have him riding high and consistanly impressing:
Alas, the most entertaining of the group - former Blur bassist Alex James - is also a consistent low-scorer, so might not be around much longer:
My one complaint about the show so far is, yesterday's episode had the contestants doing choral music, yet none of them was given Beethoven's 9th. Talk about missing a trick.
Hair-Metal: The Revenge
Last week saw the return of the Kerrang awards, with the usual shocks, surprises, drunkenness and Metallica.One of the biggest shocks and surprises of the night was the lack of a single nomination for Muse, but maybe the magazine decided someone else should have a go at dominating.
Bizarrely, considering the attitude of many of their contemporaries towards them, 30 Seconds to Mars technically dominated with an award haul of two - double their closest competition - including best single:
Awards were also picked up by the more familiar faces of:
Slipknot
and Avenged Sevenfold
New boys like:
Black Tides
And a couple of oldies in the form of:
Def Leppard
Rage Against the Machine
and, of course, Metallica
An honourable mention must also go to the band with the single stupidest name of the night and, possibly, all metal history.
“Errr…we need something stark and, like, depressing and hard…”
“Like cancer?”
“Yeah, like cancer…”
“How about cancer?”
“Perfect! Right, we also need something like dark and black and evil and that…”
“Bats?”
“Genius! Cancer Bats!”
Proof, if proof be needed:
Well, it looks better than prior sequels...
...but then, that's not saying much:Was Surprised to See This
Who'd have thunk?
Death and All His Friends
Yesterday's little tipsy post from our beloved Cherry has reminded me of a latest song fixation. Here be Coldplay with Viva La Vida:Major Disappointment
For those who avoided my Disappointment post for it's warning of a spoiler, the crux was there is a major event in Philip Pullman's The Subtle Knife that was dealt with very poorly.I've just read the following section of that chapter, only to find that it is, in fact, the end of the novel!
I'm all for a cliff-hanger ending, and there's no doubt that is exactly what Pullman was aiming for here, but he is so far of the mark I could weep. A cliff-hanger is supposed to make you think, Oh shit! What’s next? What’s next?!
My only thought at the end of The Subtle Knife is, That’s it?!
Don’t get me wrong, the events at the end of the novel should certainly add up to being a cliff-hanger, but they are down-played so much, it’s as if Pullman ran out of steam and decided to call it a day. Northern Lights/The Golden Compass has a brilliant ending, which not only rounds off the story perfectly, but leaves you gasping for more. In comparison, The Subtle Knife reads almost like a necessary evil that Pullman had to get through to bring up some plot-points and move the story on. It has its moments, but in the end I’m just grateful it’s only the middle of the story.
From Bad to Worse
Okay, it was understandable that the car chosen to represent KITT in the TV-Movie reboot of Knight Rider...
...was met with a frosty reception by the old-school fans, but what, in the name of all that is good and holy, possessed them to do this?!
I've seen more convincing vehicles on Power Rangers...
Disappointment
For those who haven’t read Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, and at some point intend to, look away now. A major spoiler follows (as well as a long rant).I’m currently reading The Subtle Knife, and while it so far isn’t a patch on Northern Lights/The Golden Compass, I am enjoying the story as a whole.
However, I’ve just read the scene where Will finally meets his father, only to see him die after all those years of searching, and it is one of the most shoddily written scenes I have ever read. After building up the meeting throughout the first half of the novel, it comes and goes in the blink of an eye and in the coldest and least emotional way possible.
Feeling desperate, tired and utterly alone, Will wanders up a mountain on his own. A deep darkness descends and he’s suddenly accosted by some strange man, whom he fights and knocks the wind out of. Why this supposedly spiritual man would come across this kid on a mountain and decide to grab him and crack him across the back of the head when the kid tries to get free is beyond me.
When Will does free himself, does he call for help from the witches? Does he escape back to the camp to warn the others he’s just been attacked? No. He sits quite calmly and has a conversation with the man, going so far as to proffer him his wounded hand.
In darkness still too deep to see each other’s faces, the man applies a healing ointment to Will’s wounded hand, dresses it, then decides to light the lamp he’s carrying so he can see the boy’s face.
A brief flicker of recognition from them both, and the man’s shot and killed by the witch whose love he spurned many years previous (a plot point fleetingly referred to way back in the early part of the novel).
If it had been a cinematic scene, the moment between father and son, when the realisation dawns, would’ve been drawn out a little to show some kind of emotion between the two - confusion; relief; joy - and to allow the audience to connect with what’s happening. Obviously this is a bit trickier in a novel as simply stating, “The two experienced confusion; relief; joy,” is very dry and in no way conveys the intended emotions, but there are options. You could back-reference some of things each character has gone through to bring them to this moment; the trials they’ve overcome so they could finally find each other. You could delve into the characters’ memories of all the things they’d missed while they were apart. You could even have each character looking forward to all of the good things that will come now that they’re together again.
“But in that moment, as the lantern light flickered over John Parry’s face, something shot down from the turbid sky, and he fell back dead before he could say a word, an arrow in his failing heart.”
That’s it? They recognise each other, he’s shot with an arrow and dies?!
The confrontation between Will and the witch was well handled, but after she’s topped herself and Will has said an emotional farewell to his father, there immediately follows a bizarrely cold description of Will taking ‘the dead man’s’ things and spying his feather-trimmed cloak. “His father had no more use for it, and Will was shaking with cold.” I wonder if anyone could come up with anything more emotionally detached than ‘His father had no more use for it…’.
I know it’s only a small scene in the grand scheme of the trilogy, but that in itself is part of the problem. It should be one of the most emotionally powerful scenes in the novel and is instead dealt with as if it’s just another little obstacle along the way; as if Pullman wanted to get it out of the way so he could get to the ‘juicier’ stuff.
I such a huge and intricate story, crammed with such high quality writing, the whole scene is a massive let-down; a bizarre and confusing disappointment.
And How Do You Fight Your Demons?
I like it 'cause it's silly :D
The Wearable Motorcycle
Want one!Check out the details: http://uk.gear.ign.com/articles/900/...257p1.html
Bit of a Dull Week
I got me new passport today. For the first time in the entire history of my photgraphic ID, I don't look like a complete tool.The fact that this is one of the highlights of my week so far pretty much says it all.
It started on Saturday when I spent the whole day feeling frustrated, tired and boooored...
Sunday I visited my cousin and we put in a long spell of gaming (Crackdown on the 360; great fun), and watched some classic Family Guy.
Monday I finished Heavenly Sword on the PS3. I'd have probably appreciated the climax of the great story a lot more if the whole thing hadn't been such a pain in the arse, not because of the difficulty of bad-guys, but because of the crap camera and stupid design ideas.
Yesterday I watched the Olympics and played some World of Warcraft.
Today I've watched the Olympics and played some World of Warcraft.
Tomorrow I've got to sign on, after which I'll probably watch the Olympics and play some World of Warcraft.
Arrgh!!
There's another three and a half weeks to go before I can finally get out of here and get to university.
I think I need help...
Baldness, Beer-guts and Belting Riffs
After two and half decades, it's understandable that Metallica would be getting a little thin on top and wide down below. In fact, it's kinda sad to see Kirk Hammett - who's always sported long, curly locks (except for his thick-mane period of the early 90s) - developing a bald spot, which just barely distracts from the girth of his gut being shown off by an ill-advised vest.Then again, when have Metallica ever been admired for their aesthetic appeal?
I'm presently in the middle watching the fly-on-the-wall footage of the recording of their new album. It's interesting seeing how it all comes together. I've watched rockumentaries before, but they tend to mostly consist of interview footage, with only minimal recording footage. Mission Metallica features regularly-updated studio footage, which makes for an interesting watch for someone who's always been fascinated by the process.
Of course, it also gives a sample of what's to come on The Death Magnetic and, so far, I'm liking what I'm hearing: Loud, fast and heavy :D
Okay, So Now I'm Really Confused
How the fuck are these people not already rotting in a cell?!
Unforgiven
This probably won't be big news to many of you (I know Twisty won't care one jot...whatever a jot is), but I've just heard that Metallica's new album is going to feature Unforgiven III, which I personally see as cause to post two of my favourite Metallica songs:Believe
This was perhaps the most haunting and original of the many Halo 3 trailers around just prior to its release:With the coming of yet another epic to the 360, the idea has been somewhat borrowed to admirable affect:
Immortal
Earth, 2095. A pyramid appears above New York and, from it, emerges Horus, Egyptian god of the sky, released from an eternal slumber to walk the Earth for seven days; time aims to use to mate with a rare woman who can bare a god's child.Where to begin...?
This film is weird. The setting reminds me a lot of The Fifth Element with a starker colour palette. Cars float around the city, or ride around on rails. The high-rise streets are populated with a mix of humans, aliens and mutants. A lot of the designs for both vehicles and buildings have an art-deco look. It's certainly a feast for the eyes.
As is the lead, Jill; a tall, slim, white-skinned, blue 'haired' woman who can read minds, shoot people with the palm of her hand and permanently dye human skin blue with her tears.
With the exception of Jill - played by French actress Linda Hardy adopting a very convincing non-European accent - and one or two others in elaborate costume, the whole non-human cast is rendered in CGI. It seems very strange at first, given these characters are all humanoid and look as close to human as it was possible to get with CGI four years ago, but it fits with the overall odd look of the film. Because everything is coloured so starkly, and the whole thing looks so surreal anyway, the CGI characters don't look as out of place as they might've done in a more straight-forward or colourful sci-fi.
Immortal is a strange film with a convoluted plot and bizarre aesthetic, but it's captivating, atmospheric and immensely original.
From the Heart
Over in the Inferno, Dante reminded me of a little something special from our dearly departed lord and saviour, Mr. Bill Hicks (you might want to turn your speakers down just a smidge):Yet More Moozack!
Every now and then my randomised playlist lands on a forgotten gem that I love when I hear it, but immediately forget about when it's finished.So I wrote today's on my hand with the specific intent on posting it right here for you all to enjoy:
Also, Shirley Manson really does it for me, and not just because of her antics with the blow-up doll...
Early Morning Pick-Me-Up
Doing It With A Touch of Class
I hate perfume ads; they're so gut-wrenchingly pointless and stupid. A pair of ridiculous-looking, scrwany models in ripped jeans, whispering vapid little lines at each other that hold all the passion and romance of a cat-shit kebab, rendered in black & white in a desperate attempt to make the whole thing look artistic.Ironic, then, that the one time they get it right, the ad is banned. Thank god for the internet :D
Yes, she's talking bollocks, and yes, it's rendered in black & white to try to make it look more artistic and less pornographic, but let's face it, it's Eva Mendes.
Who Watches the Watchmen?
On the strength of the novel, I'm going to hazard a guess at 'lots of people'.Having finally finished the book, I can see from the trailer that many key scenes have been faithfully reconstructed, but I still wonder at how certain elements will be handled by Zak Snyder. For example, big chunks of back-story and characterisation are handled by long prose pieces - taking the form of official reports, newspaper columns, novel extracts and press interviews - interspersed throughout the novel. The story can probably be told without them, but if the writers and director are keen to remain faithful to source, then they will have to be at least alluded to in some way.
There is also something quite radical - dare I say, silly - about the maniacal scheme behind the main plot-arch. How that will translate on screen, and how audiences will react to it - especially those who haven’t read the novel - I don’t know.
Snyder and co. certainly have some tough decisions to make. However, he did bring us the excellent 300 so, whatever the result, I’ve no doubt it will be entertaining…
Ledger's Legacy
Terrry Gilliam was on the news this morning talking about the film he was making with Heath Ledger.He said he's had to recast the part with three actors.
And not just any three: Johnny Depp, Collin Farrel and Jude Law!
Why does the man have to die before we find out how good he really was?
The Night is Darkest Before the Dawn
And it seems, when that dawn is 30 days away, the night is very dark!Yes, another day, another comic-book adaptation; this time, 30 Days of Night. Josh Hartnet (who I've, till now, hated in everything he's been in except Black Hawk Down) is the sheriff of a sleepy little town in the far, frozen north that goes 30 days without sunshine. One dusk, a bunch of particularly vicious vampires roll into town and make a particularly big mess of the locals.
Continuing with Hollywood's new-found love of holding no barrs, the story-telling is kept very minimalist in favour of showing the gruesome vamps doing gruesome stuff and looking decidedly gruesome (black eyes, pale skin, long, sharp nails and a full set of very sharp teeth, covered in blood both fresh and stale throughout).
If anything, the story-telling is a little too minimalist. For example, we're never told how a nine year-old girl manages to survive almost a month in a frozen town all on her lonesome, with nothing but hungry monsters for company. Though I appreciate the idea of cutting through the crap and getting straight to fun stuff, the side-effect is certain scenes coming across as random and/or silly.
In fact, the plot movement is incredibly jumpy, with the first 20 or 30 minutes setting things up over the course of a single day, before jumping to a week into the ordeal then, without warning, 29 days.
It's also a shame the vampires aren't developed further. For all their brutality, the head of the pack is a fan of making speeches (in some undisclosed language) and everything he says and does seems to hint at some deeper story that is never told.
On the other hand, the story-telling mechanic does prevent a lot of the usual horror-movie clichés (or, at least, sweeps them aside before they wrench your gut too much) and it also helps keep the pace up, despite the number of quieter scenes, in place to crank up the tension.
All-in-all, despite its patchiness, it’s a lot of fun, with some great effects and set-pieces and masses of gore, as well as solid performances from the leads (Hartnet and the head vamp in particular).
Old Men on the Corner (creeping-out the kids)
So, New Kids on the Block are back.I'll just leave you to digest that for a moment...
...
Done?
Hollywood's current love of the reboot is understandable, given the success of the franchises that have done it, but the pop world has so far failed to repeat that success. Okay, so Take That managed a sell-out tour and chart-topping album of new stuff (which was shit), but everyone else who's tried recently has bombed. The Spice Girls, All Saints, Boyzone and the Backstreet Boys all returned to the scene with a minor blip of excitement from their now far post-pubescent fans, before quietly sinking back into the pit they'd dragged themselves from.
I get that has-beens must hanker after recapturing the old magic, and it isn't a huge surprise that four of the five would be keen on the idea of reforming, having done sweet fanny-adams in the past two decades. What baffles me is the return of Donnie Whalberg.
Shortly after splitting from the rest of the 'Kids', Whalberg became an actor with starring roles in a couple of films and a few successful series (including a fantastic turn in Band of Brothers). Whatever possessed him to agree to this god-awful heap of dog excrement…
…is beyond me.
I’ve little doubt that, on the evidence of the above, this will be another short-lived stumble back into the limelight before the world can return to being the happier place it was when they first split, but we must now live under the umbrella of fear that Donnie’s brother Marky-Mark might start reminiscing about the good ol’ days with the Funky Bunch.
Saints preserve us!
What it lacks in qualiy, it makes up for in content...
This link will take you to an improved version of a particular bootleged trailer that has a lot of people excited.My eyes shall be wide open for the official trailer release...
What's Not to Love?
Robert Rodriguez directing Rose McGowan in a chain-mail bikini, swinging a sword. Yes please...
See More Red Sonja Event Shot at IGN.com
Warning: This Review Contains Gushing
How to sum up The Dark Knight...I'll start with the negatives. Christian Bale's growling is a bit odd and Heath Ledger's performance makes the tragedy of his death all the more sour, as we'll never get to see it again.
I'm now out of negatives.
My heart pounded, my breath caught in my throat and at one point I even jumped! I never jump, which just goes to highlight the intensity of the film.
And it is intense. There's been a trend in Hollywood over the past year for film-makers to avoid pulling-punches, and Goyer and the Nolans (that’s Jonathan and Christopher, not the 70’s girl-group) are no exception.
Another Hollywood trend in recent years, when it comes to the big franchises, has been to make a hugely successful, entertaining and innovative first film, and then go nuts with the sequel, cramming as much in as possible and ending up with something convoluted and silly. With a new suit, new vehicle, new technology, two new major villains, a ton of grand set-pieces and even some globe-trotting, it would have been easy for The Dark Knight to go the same way, but the whole thing is put together masterfully.
In fact, the writing is some of the best I’ve seen in a very long time. There are plot and character developments handled better in these two and a half hours than I’ve seen in an entire franchise. Not a single character is wasted and the innovation surrounding The Joker’s motivations in particular is inspiring.
The cast, too, are all on top form. Of course, Bale doesn’t seem to have any level other than top form and the rest of the returning cast all have their roles expanded and are all more than up to the task. Indeed, it’s a good thing Katie Holmes bowed out of playing Rachel Dawes again, because there is no way she’d have been up for the type of performance required. Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Rachel was slyer, wittier, more intelligent, more intense and more passionate than Holmes could’ve managed.
As for the other newbies; I was very impressed with Aaron Eckhart. To date, the only thing I can remember seeing him in is The Core, in which he played the standard disaster movie hero, but he very much shows his acting chops as Harvey Dent who, on the surface, comes across as little more than an incorruptible do-gooder, but has layers to his personality ***POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT***even before the inevitable tragedy of his tranformation***POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT OVER***
But, let’s face it, it’s Heath Ledger who steals the show. It’s an understatement to say I was sceptical when I heard he’d been cast as The Joker. I knew him as the Antipodean, blond pretty-boy from Casanova and A Knight’s Tale. The Joker? And a Joker in a darker, grittier Batman universe? Are you mad?!
The perfect blend of twisted, crazy, savage and nutty. In the blink of an eye he can go from hilarious to horrific to unerringly calm and coherent. His physical, vocal and emotional performances perfectly tailored to the character.
Mad?
No.
Inspired.
It’s said that rumours of a posthumous Oscar nomination were a little hasty, but I struggle to see how anyone can possibly top that performance.
The bottom line is, believe the hype. This is the best ever Batman film, one of the best Batman stories ever told, the best film of the year so far and probably one of my favourite films of all time.
Pass? Pfft!
I got the official results for my college course today. Gloucestershire required passes (40%) across the board to get onto the Creative Writing course:Psychology - Merit (57%)
English Literature - Credit (67%)
English Language - Distinction (71%)
English Literature - Credit (67%)
English Language - Distinction (71%)
The latter two I already knew (at least, I knew them as preliminary results), but I wasn't so sure about Psychology. I was pretty sure I'd passed, and thought just maybe I might've edged a Merit, so it's good to see I actually got a very comfortable Merit. I've no idea how; I only completed half of the exam...
This afternoon I'm celebrating by going to see The Dark Knight, then possibly taking myself out for a drink.
While We Were Gone
Since we came back, I've been intending to copy over a few posts from blogger to keep everything up to date, but, as usual, procrastination got in the way, and so I've decided to make a highlights post...The Rights of Men
Steven Moffat showing that he can do more than just great Doctor Who episodes:
More From Mirror's Edge
The new trailer from what looks to be a stunning game:
Incidentally, was anyone ele aware that Rhianna Pratchett - daughter of the great man himself - was an award-winning video-game writer? The above will add to her already impressive credits, which include Heavenly Sword and Overlord.
Max Payne
The latest game to get the Hollywood treatment:
I'm intrigued, but my hopes are low. I'm expecting more of the usual vapid sub-John Woo crap American movie makers tend to spit out.
Hell Ride
This, however, looks a lot more promising:
Terminator 4
Many thought a third film was a step too far, and this one isn't helped by the fact it's being made by McG, whose track record is less than glowing. However, the surprisingly wise decision has been made to approach the saga from a different angle, and it has a pretty strong cast list, so just maybe...
Watchmen
I've been uming and ahing over whether or not to buy the book. This made the decision for me:
It also reintroduced me to a stunning song (whatever Twisty might think of Billy Corgen's voice ;p ):
There were also pics of my weekends away to London and Birmingham, but they went straight up on blogger instead of my Flickr account, and efx doesn't seem to like urls, so links it is.
Doctor Horrible
Over at Vox, Sarai made a post about a new Joss Whedon project that she'd never heard of.Neither had I.
Went to the link: http://www.drhorrible.com/
Loved every minute :D
I then read the letter written by Whedon about the poject and a particular detail caught my eye:
ONE WEEK ONLY! AN INTERNET MINISERIES EVENT!
"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:
ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.
ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.
ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.
All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom (but not THE Phantom – that’s still playing. Like, everywhere.)
"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:
ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.
ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.
ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.
All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom (but not THE Phantom – that’s still playing. Like, everywhere.)
That's right, people, the clock is ticking, so take 45 minutes out of your day and go watch the genius that is this: http://www.drhorrible.com/
This sentence is extraneous and I'm really disappointed in you for reading it when you should have already clicked the link and be enjoyng the show. GO!!
Cum on Feel the Noize
The Triumph, the Tragedy and the Tears
And, with that, another brilliant series of Doctor Who comes to an end. And what an end! Shakespeare couldn't conjure tragedy like that lot can. I was on the verge of tears at the end.Oddly, it wasn't until watch Doctor Who Confidential that a tear was actually shed, when they replayed the ending, only this time backed by the heart rending Hoppipolla by Sigur Rós:
Brosandi (smiling)
Hendumst í hringi (spinning in circles)
Höldumst í hendur (holding hands)
Allur heimurinn óskýr (the world is a blur)
nema þú stendur (except when you're standing)
Rennblautur (dripping wet)
Allur rennvotur (completly soaked)
Engin gúmmístígvél (no rubberboots)
Hlaupandi í okkur (running inside of us)
Vill springa út úr skel (wants to burst out of the shell)
Vindur í (wind in)
og útilykt ? af hárinu þínu (and the smell of your hair)
Ég lamdi eins fast og ég get (i hit as hard as i can)
með nefinu mínu (with my nose)
Hoppa í poll (jumping into a puddle)
Í engum stígvélum (wearing no boots)
Allur rennvotur (rennblautur) (completely soaked (dripping wet))
Í engum stígvélum (wearing no boots)
Og ég fæ blóðnasir (and i get a nosebleed)
En ég stend alltaf upp (but i'll always stand up again)
Og ég fæ blóðnasir (and i get a nosebleed)
En ég stend alltaf upp (but i'll always stand up again)
I can't wait till Christmas!
Ooh, and I just came across this rather fine cover by We Are Scientists:
A Weekend in Brum
Today, Kylie Minogue was honoured with an OBE for ‘services to music’. If ever I do anything deemed worthy on an ‘honour’ I’m going to have to tell them to shove it up their arse. It has become a gesture as worthless as winning a TV talent show.Anyway, it’s Thursday, so it’s about time I got around to posting about my weekend (I blame the weather for my procrastination - it has been far too hot).
Last Friday I went to Birmingham to visit an old friend. I only ever get to see my friends on all-too-rare occasions, so it was, as ever, a big deal for me. We spent the evening having a quiet drink, catching up and playing some pool. No better way to spend an evening :)
Saturday we went into the centre of Birmingham. Other than a brief visit to the Bull Ring (the city’s big shopping complex) on a previous visit, I’d never seen Birmingham. It has a reputation for being a little rundown and somewhat backward, but the only evidence of this I saw was some dip-shit having a rant at a group of Amnesty International people protesting against China’s civil rights violations. I couldn’t hear exactly what his problem was, but the fact that he was so enraged by their humble little protest for what is, to me (and I suspect many others), a very noble cause can only lead me to the conclusion that he was a fucking idiot.
Sole douche aside, the central part of the city was surprisingly beautiful; spacious and clean , with tree-lined streets, new buildings and a grand town-hall in the heart of it, sporting a large, elegant fountain where people could meet and chat and enjoy their take-out. The fact that it was a sunny day would usually mar things for me, but it wasn’t too hot and it helped make the place look all the more pleasant.
In the afternoon we went to the cinema to see The Incredible Hulk. Now, unlike many, I was a big fan of Ang Lee’s Hulk. A lot of people found it plot-heavy and weren’t convinced by his elegant approach to the story telling, but I enjoyed the contrast between Lee’s style of direction and the brutality of the character, which I thought was well represented in the action sequences. Hulk’s flight from the military was particularly impressive. Yes, it was silly in places and yes, the climactic fight was just plain stupid, but overall it was enjoyable.
With The Incredible Hulk, things don’t start well, with an attempt to retell the back-story in the space of the opening credits. Because the characters are being approached differently and are played by different actors, there needed to be some kind of build up where we got to know a little about them and could actually feel something for them in the course of the movie. Because this doesn’t happen, all of the stuff between the action is very thin. Edward Norton is given nothing to do, there is zero chemistry between him and Liv Tyler, and William Hurt’s portrayal of General Ross isn’t a patch on Sam Elliot’s. The only actor to really shine in the film is Tim Roth, though he’s not very convincing as a hard-bitten marine; not because of his performance, but because of his physique. He just looks…odd.
Of course, given everything that was said by producers in pre-production, I knew everything between the action was going to be an after-thought, even with the high-calibre cast. The action itself was spectacular. The Hulk looks better than ever, if still a little cartoony (but then, what can you expect when watching a CGI green giant). There’s an attention to detail that was previously lacking that brings the Hulk to life; at least, as close to it as has ever been.
Hulk’s nemesis, however, is another story. If anything, Abomination was over designed, with random protrudences and weird skeletal details that make the thing look less realistic the more you look at it. That said, the climactic fight between the two is one of the great action set-pieces to so far come out of Marvel Studios.
After the film, we discussed its pros and cons over a quick drink, then sought food. Rinita took me to burger place on the canal. I’ve never paid £7 for a cheeseburger before, but then I’ve never eaten a cheeseburger that was worth £7. YUM!
We then hit the bars. I’m not big on cocktails, but the first place we went to called for the drinking of one and I actually managed to find one - The New Yorker - that appealed. Tasty it was, too.
We tried a few more places, including one that we were turned away from for being ‘too casual’ (snobs), but ended up going back to the first for a final cocktail. This time I had a Rob Roy. Not bad, but I preferred the New Yorker.
Sunday, we went to see Wanted. Although this also a comic-book film, it couldn’t be further removed from The Incredible Hulk. For one thing, the basic set-up - average Joe Nobody lives a dull and pointless existence until the day he finds out his father was some great hero - is the only thing taken from the comic. In the comic version (as I understand it), a bunch of super-villains have all-but wiped out a bunch of super-heroes and are taking over the world, and only this nobody, who is actually the son of one of these heroes, can save the day. In the film, the band of super-heroes is replaced with a band of super-assassins, one of whom has gone rogue as bumping off his former comrades. Step up James McAvoy as the aforementioned nobody, who must learn the tricks of the trade and avenge his father, killed by the rogue. Cue a series of impressive, over-the-top gunfights and set-pieces that would have been laughably silly if they hadn’t been pulled off so well. There’s also enough character development and plot twists to add depth to what could’ve easily been an impressive, but shallow frag-fest.
A word of warning, however: The blood and gore is equally over-the-top. Personally I found much of it hilarious (an original take on the human shield I found particularly giggle-worthy), but Rinita had to cover her eyes once or twice, so it is not for the faint of heart. That said, she still enjoyed it so, if you can stomach it, give it a shot.
We finished the weekend with a quiet night in, watching TV over some take-out Chinese, mocking many of the selections on The Greatest Romantic Movies (whoever voted in 9½ Weeks watches too much soft porn).
Glasvegas
Ever heard of them? Until an hour ago, I certainly hadn't.Now I'd like to hear more...
Something Familiar?
Go watch this vid over on strangecloud's blog and tell me if the guitarist reminds you of someone not a million miles away...Or is it just me?
At the Grand Old Age of 22
S'long
I'm away for the weekend!Heading down to Birmingham to visit a friend, have a look around the city, chill, probably watch a movie or two (I's thinking Wanted : ) and whatever else we can think to do to kill the time.
I shall leave you with samples of two albums I picked up this week (2-for-£10 at HMV - I love HMV), starting with a band I've posted before. This be Reverend and the Makers:
(I originally posted Heavyweight Champion of the World, but cn't find the post)
Secondly, I finally got around to picking up The Killers' second album, featuring:
Till Monday, y'all!
Tony Jaa
Me and Piddy were talking about this dude (...maybe I do use that word a lot...) a few days ago, and I wanted to share for anyone who isn't aware:Pork and Beans
Weezer! :D (along with some classic YouTube stars)Also, the chorus of this reminds me a lot of a 90's classic:
Question
I've just posted over something in my portfolio and I had a thought: When you subscribe a blog, do you subscribe to all of that user's blogs or just the one?Could any of my subscribers let me know?
Be I White?
Given my pallor, if this comes out at anything bellow 90%, it is so wrong.Put an X in all that apply. Then, take how many X's you put and multiply it by five. Then post saying, "I’m _% White."
[] You went to a private school
[] You were homeschooled for more than 4 years
[] You watch/watched the show Laguna Beach
[] You watch/watched the show American Idol
[] You watch/watched the show OC
[x] You know what a poncho is
[] You have listened to a band called Fuel
[] You've shopped at Aeropostale, Hollister,Rue 21, Abercrombie &Fitch, Krew, or Hot Topic
[] You have/had a dog that is NOT a pitbull
[] You bend the bill of your hat
[] You own a pair of dc's/converse/etnies/vans
[] You/Your parent(s) drive cars with leather seats
[x] Your main language is English
[] You say the word DUDE a lot
[] You say the word MAN a lot
[x] You think cops are awesome
[] You have absolutely no idea what Twista is saying when he raps
alot.
[x] You listen to some rock
[x] You know who Willie Nelson is
[x] Your parents give you money when you ask
[] Your parents just hand you money for no reason at all [on special occasions]
[]You wear flip flops with a lot of your clothes
[] You know what meatloaf tastes like
[] You have said awesome more than 100 times in a week
Apparently I am 30% white. Show the re-spec', homies 8)
The Greatest Cliffhanger Ending, Ever!
I done a few Greatest Such and Such, Ever posts recently, but this one simply couldn't be avoided.The first of the three-part Doctor Who series four finale has just finished and if the man himself doesn't turn up in the next five minutes to whisk me away to next Saturday evening, I'm going to be a jibbering wreck all week :/
I think my geekdom has hit a new peak...!
Quote of the Day
"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."P. J. O'Rourke
The "I haven't Done One of these in Ages" Meme
Rules:1. Use no more, or less, than two words to answer each question.
2. Try not to copy any answers from the person you stole this meme from... in my case, le Twist
1. Where is your cell phone? ..................bedside table
2. Your significant other?.........................lacking one :(
3. Your hair? ...........................................messy curls
4. Your mother? ......................................the afterlife
5. Your father?.........................................living room
6. Your favorite thing?..............................great stories
7. Your dream last night?.........................don't remember
8. Your favorite drink? .............................Souther Comfort
9. Your dream/goal?.................................Successful Author
10. The room you're in?............................Front bedroom
11. Your ex?..............................................see '2'
12. Your fear?...........................................losing people
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?..not here
14. Where were you last night?.................at home
15. What you're not?.................................mentally sound
16. Muffins?...............................................yes please
17. One of your wish list items?.................Manhattan apartment
18. Where you grew up?...........................right here
19. The last thing you did?........................blog comment
20. What are you wearing?.......................khaki pants
21. Your TV?............................................portable LCD
22. Your pet(s)?........................................don't exist
23. Your computer? .................................ageing lappy
24. Your life?............................................getting there
25. Your mood?........................................nicely chilled
26. Missing someone?..............................alas, often
27. Your car?............................................written off
28. Something you're not wearing?...........cowboy hat
29. Favorite Store?...................................Grangier Games
30. Your summer?....................................too long
31. Like someone?...................................I do
32. Your favorite color?............................black, obviously
33. Last time you laughed........................this afternoon
34. Last time you cried?...........................can't remember
Straight-Talking Journalist
I know, I couldn't believe it either, but here she is:And she's rather hot. Who'd have guessed?!
Is This Supposed to be a Remake?
From what I can tell from the trailer, this has nothing whatsoever to do with Death Race 2000, which it's supposed to be based on, but it does still look like a giggle :)
Elsewhere in the world of me: I got two shots of happiness in the post today; the first being a DVD box-set of Silence of the Lambs, The Usual Suspects and Fargo that I found online for £4.20. The second was a letter from Gloucestershire uni telling me I hadn't gotten a place in the on-campus halls of residence I applied for, but I had gotten a place in the halls of residence two streets away.
And the good news keeps on coming. I just got an email saying my copy of Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII has been posted. Hurrah!
Beth Rowley
The woman's been doing the rounds for a while now, but has just recently gotten herself some notoriety. I had to listen to a few of her performances over and over before I could figure out what it is that bothers me about her voice:I realised that there isn't anything wrong with it in particular - it's crisp, balanced, soulful and powerful - it's just...too clean...if that makes sense. I feel like her voice needs to age a couple of years; a touc of roughness to make it more...real...
The I've heard from her are a mixed bag. Her repertoire seems to be a mix of traditional blues, reworked classics of other genres and iffy pop. For me, the latter doesn't work at all, but the rest sounds very promising.
Blockbusters Galore
Seeing as I've been falling behind of late, I made not one, but two trips to the cinema today!First: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. In a word; flawed. No, not because Harrison Ford is now old enough to play Henry Jones Sr., and no, not because Ray Winstone was playing every sidekick cliché in the adventure movie genre, and no, not because there was no Sean Connery, and no, not because Shia LaBeouf looked ridiculous in his James Dean costume.
In fact, there was nothing wrong with the cast at all. Ford looked a little tired in places, but he was meant to, and the rest of the cast were fantastic, especially Cate Blanchett who proved she can play a mean badguy and even get stuck in with the action.
Indeed the action is where the film really shines. Ford might not be able to take the punches and falls like he used to, but he still gives it some. Spielberg also went old-school with the action; avoiding any CGI in favour of traditional blue-screen work, which wasn't particularly convincing, but far more entertaining than watching a bunch of shodily-animated pixels going at it (let's face it, Square Enix were doing better CG work with the Playstation 1's technology than Hollywood has so far managed with its multi-hundred-million-dollar budgets).
Sadly the film falls doing at the story, which is, I'm sorry to say, stupid. In all seriousness (and I know Dante will be preparing to stone me for this one, but hear me out), has George Lucas written anything decent since The Last Crusade? I'm sorry to say it, but in the last twenty years, he has written nothing of worth. Like everything he's written in the past two decades, the story of Crystal Skulls starts out promisingly enough, but then gets silly.
That said, it's still worth seeing, if only for the fun romp that it is.
Speaking of fun romps, the second film I saw today was Iron Man.
There's little that can be said about Iron Man, really. It's pretty much everything we've come to expect from the better Marvel adaptations of recent years: great action; great special effects; relatively faithful. As an origin story, it's a little slow in places as things are explained and developed, but it's almost as good as the first X-Men and Spider-Man films and, again, the cast is mostly great (Gwyneth Paltrow still doesn't convince as a leading lady (or even a damsel in distress)). Robert Downey Jr. is always fantastic, but the biggest surprise is Jeff Bridges, not least because I watched The Big Lebowski yesterday and his performance here couldn't be further removed. Besides which, he's barely recognisable with a shaved head and flase beard.
Next will most likely be The Incredible Hulk, then probably Wanted when I head off to Birmingham next week.
in the mean time, I've got The Bromeliad to read, the rest of Witches Abroad to listen to and Powerstone to play on my PSP :)
Speaking of Pratchett, between films I sat myself down in a café and attempted to get back into my writing groove. I think his influence rubbed off a little:
It was early autumn on the tundra and a lot of the indigenous species had already begun their southerly migration; prey and predators alike. Those that remained in the eastern region were mostly those small enough to survive on the meagre vegetation that remained (and could emerge safe in the knowledge their main predators had moved on) or the elder of the large animals who couldn’t make the journey and had chosen to see out their final winter.
And the Raeven.
It was difficult to explain the Raeven to newcomers to the region. Most who were told the story assumed they were listening to a local myth; an old-wives’ tale told to make the isolated town in its desolate surroundings seem somehow more significant. She was an elder of a pride of snow tigers, descended from the Ghost of the Tundra.
The story went that Raeven - a gentle woman from a gentle town beyond the tundra - had gotten lost on the journey to Arrunden. She was attacked and left for dead by a group of bandits, but was saved by a lonely tiger named Aegin. The two took revenge on the bandits, then chose to roam the tundra together, striking at other bands that would dare attack travellers from the south. After many years of protecting the region, the two died and their spirits joined to form the Ghost of the Tundra; an ethereal presence that could take the form of woman or tiger so that, together, they could go on protecting the region forever more.
Unto each generation since, the tigers descended from Aegin chose a female elder from the pride to take the name of Raeven and watch over the town.
The story wasn’t entirely untrue; just a rather mystical rendering of the truth. Rain wondered how his great grandmother would’ve reacted to the tale. But then, from what little he remembered of her, he wouldn’t be surprised if old Raeven en-Talath hadn’t been the one to first tell it.
*sings* Aaall byy myy seeeeeelf...
I don't think I've ever been here all on my lonesome before.Hello?! Hello?! Hello?! Hello?!
*looks around for things to steal/wreck/play with*
Rising from Obscurity
One of the best answers to a quiz-show question, ever.Strange Days
I can't remember when or how I was first introduced to the film, but Strange Days has been a favourite of mine for a long time. An atmospheric semi-sci-fi noir thriller about a deeler of illegally recorded memories (played by RaLph Feinnes, sporting an American accent that had me convinced he was taking the piss when he went all posh for The Avengers) caught up in a nasty conspiracy that he fears will endanger his ex (a slutty Juliette Lewis showing off her vocal chords (among other things) long before she fronted The Licks).Strangely, one the main things to stick with me from the film was the song that played over the end credits. It's difficult to describe, especially as it's performed in - I'm led to believe by Wiki - Bulgarian by English singer Peter Gabriel and French group Deep Forest. The song is very atmospheric and perfectly suited to the tone of the film, but odd. Think Enigma with a dab of acid:
Apparently that's someone burning a lump of solid alcohol. I know not why
The Quest
No, this isn't some bloke miming to Amy Winehouse. This is, in fact, new guy Bryn Christopher:And I love it :)
Singin' in da Rain
Though it's not uncommon for songs from ads to top the charts here in the UK, it usually doesn't take two years. Nevertheless, Mint Royale's mix of Singing in the Rain, as used in a now relatively old VW ad, was this week's number 1 single.Usually at this point I'd post the video to said track, but frankly, it's crap, so here's the ad, which isn't:
On a related note, my search for the above also brought up this; one of the greatest commercials of all time:
**EDIT**
Also found this one that I'd never seen before:
Yes Please
Though I've been keeping up with alerts and posting the occasional vid, I realise I've been relatively quiet of late. College work hasn't really gotten on top of me and I haven't been particularly stressed by any of it, but it has been my main focus.
Now, however, it's over!
Yesterday was my English Lit exam, and I think it went quite well; the first half, anyway. The second was a little slap-dash, but I'm pretty sure I've done enough. At the very least, I know I've passed the course.
All of them, in fact. My Psyche exam was last week was a complete bust, but I was going into it with an overall pass already, so anything I do get out of that will be a bonus.
As mentioned a couple of days ago, I also got my last English Language grade, which I think leaves me with an overall distinction :) I might not be able to spell, but at least I can construct a good sentence, it seems.
So, what now?
I'm pondering changing my bank account in my hunt for better student benefits. I have to fill and send off my PN1 form (student loan application) by the 27th and I should have my official grades by the end of this month to send to Gloucestershire uni to secure my place. I could also do with a part-time job...
I need to get back into writing, too. I've barely written anything creative since I started college, with the exception of a couple of Language assignments (three of which were supposed to be researched, but I ended up making the whole thing up - god knows how I've landed a distinction...I guess I'm also good at bullshit). I'm especially eager to get back to some of my novel stuff. The stories and characters are forever swimming around in my head, growing and developing in some form or another, and I need to rein the ideas in and get them down on paper (well, in type) before they get out of hand.
Must also catch up on my cinema-going. I'm still yet to see Ironman or Indiana Jones, and with Hulk and The Happening out this weekend, and so many more coming this month and early next, I'm falling behind.
On the 27th, I'm headed down to Birmingham to visit a friend, and I know we'll get at least one cinema trip in, but there is s much I want to see!
One thing I have watched recently was Silent Hill on the insistance of Del. I've always been in two minds whether or not I wanted to see it. Yes, it's a video-game adaptation, which immediately sets alarm bells ringing, however, it is also a Christophe Gans film. Christophe Gans directed Brotherhood of the Wolf; one of my favourite films of all time and certainly one of the most visually stunning (there are moments when it makes Lord of the Rings look like it was shot in a nursery), so I was undeniably curious.
The first half of the film is brilliant, and captures the mood of the games fantastically. Dark, creepy and mysterious and not in the least bit afraid to shock (a particular scene with ashen children could've been lifted directly from the games). The cast is pretty strong too; most notably the little girl at the centre of the plot who starts out as the standard frightened child, but takes some rather mental turns as things progress. Sean Bean cannot do an American accent, but otherwise it was all good.
The creepy monster thingies were all done extremely well, too; especially if you've played the games. In some cases the film-makers actually succeeded in making them more nuts than they ever were.
Unfortunately, the film loses its way when the background story comes to light. It's quite harrowing, but not particularly inventive and the big climactic scene is a bit silly. That said, the ending was suitably haunting and very well played.
Overall, enjoyable piece of horror fare, which you'll likely get more of a kick out of if you've played the games.
Speaking of games, that's something else I need to catch up with. So far, the only thing I've completed on my shiny new 360 is Halo 3 and I've already got a decent collection to work through. I also need to either get back into World of Warcraft or cancel my subscription (at least for now).
It's good to be free :D
The Greatest Thing in the World, Ever
For less than £2,000!
Calling Out From Scatland
My mind wanders a lot, especially if I'm not doing anything or waiting for something. Sometimes this results in stories being fine-tuned, characters being created or plot-lines being worked out. Sometimes I talk to myself. Sometimes I start chuckling because I've remebered a funny bit from the previous night's Mock the Week. And sometimes I start singing random stuff that I haven't heard for years.Today, the musical accompaniment to me waiting for the kettle to boil was an obscure and mostly forgotten piece of 90s bizarrness:
Believe it or not, that wasn't even his biggest hit. That would be his debut:
And you thought the 80s was weird...
Homecoming
With my final exam coming tomorrow afternoon (and the whole place smelling of sweat thanks to this insufferably heat) I decided it was time for a spring-clean, so I strapped my iPod to my arm, put on some Green Day and got to work.Then this little epic came on and I just had to post it:
Give it at least till the "rock'n'roll band" bit
In unrelated news, I got the result today for my god-awful literary review of Dracula that I did for English Language. I got 66%!
In Case of Emergency
Following yesterday's breakdown, Pixie took this opportunity to bring her alt. blog to everyone's attention, should the unthinkable happen and efx goes the way of dodo. I think it's a good idea that we all do the same, so: http://bebbetmk2.blogspot.com/We're Back!
Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!To celebrate, here's some classic Radiohead:
Bluesy Goodness
Up until a few days ago, I'd never heard of Stevie Ray Vaughan. Tex and birdie fixed that:Also, this is very cool:
**EDIT**
This damn cool, too:
You're Never Too Big for Karaoke
These Guys Look Familiar
This be Foxboro Hot Tubs with the brilliant Mother MaryCovering All Bases
Earlier today I made a post about Scarlett Johansson's somewhat interesting musical debut, and the subsequent conversation got me to thinking.It's an old cliché to hear a model say she wants to be an actress. Many try, but few actually make a success of it (primarily because the vast majority of them can't act). The only exceptions to this I can think of are Cameron Diaz, Michelle Yeoh and on other.
Some say they love to sing, though it's impossible for anyone else to love them doing it as they tend to be either shrill or flat or some freakish amalgamation of the two.
How unlikely, then, is it that a model would come along who can't just act and can't just sing, but can do both, and pretty damned well?
More surprising still is that her voice is actually interesting. She has a unique accent and somehow manages to be at once delicate and husky.
She can even rock out if she wants to:
The Onion: THE MOVIE
Somone on efx - I believe it is Ogre - has been know to reference The Onion on occassion. While watching last night's Daily Show, the first 10 seconds of this popped up, much to my surprise. Obviously, being a slave to curiosity, I immediately headed to YouTube and found the whole thing:I agree with the kids :)
Falling Down
I glimpsed an article on IGN a few days ago reviewing an album by Scarlett Johansson. I didn't actually read the review; just took in the 7.1/10 score, which isn't bad, especially considering Johansson isn't just an actress; she's a hot actress.
I've racked my brain, but can't think of a hot actress who can sing...
On first hearing the first single, I still couldn't think of one.
However, as the song progressed and I gradually got used to it, I grew to like the unusual alt-rock/folksy melody and the way her husky, lazy, near-flat voice (almost like a female Nick Cave...perhaps...) melts into the music.
Not being a Tom Waits fan, I of course wasn't aware that this was a Tom Waits cover. On hearing the original, the track makes a lot more sense:
The Writing's on the Wall
It's 2:30 in the a.m., I've been staring at this monitor pretty-much all day and when I look away from the screen, I can still see lines of text. If the deadline for this essay hadn't passed two and a half hours ago, I'd go to bed...Not Very Princely Behaviour
Actually, I'm not too impressed by this trailer, but everything I've been reading about the game so far looks goooood...
Where Have All the Good Scares Gone?
In a previous post, a conversation as kicked up about horror movies. I had a similar conversation on one of IGN's boards not so long ago following the release of the Hollywood remake of The Eye.Why aren't horror movies scary any more? Look back at Night of the Living Dead, The Exorcist and The Omen. These films were terrifying at the time and, though dated and somewhat tame (occasionally hilarious) nowadays, still stand as great films.
Since then, however, we've had Nightmare on Elm Street (started off as mildly humorous, then gradually became camper than an all-male production of Mamma Mia), Friday the 13th (annoying American teens diced up by a pissed-off grieving mother - hurrah!), Halloween (zzzzzzzz) and now Saw and Hostel and their innumerable rip-offs, whose makers seem to think the way to scare people is to gross them out. Frankly there was more imaginative brutality in Tom & Jerry (better acting, too).
So desperate has western cinema become, film makers have had to look to the east for good ideas, but rather than take inspiration, they instead spew out ill-conceived remakes, which, compared to the originals, are truly pathetic. The first two Ring films, for example, were fantastic and very creepy (Ring 0 was tedious, tenuous and crap - they can't always get it right), while the American remakes were gut-wrenchingly dull.
Of course, there are some shining lights - The Evil Dead trilogy, The Descent, the Scream trilogy, Lost Boys, Dog Soldiers, 28 Days Later (yet to see Weeks); these are all great films - but in the last four decades, the only film produced by a western studio that was even remotely scary was Event Horizon.
I do understand that this might just be a matter of temperament. What one person finds scary, another may find ridiculous, so have any of you seen anything that has genuinely scared you or creeped you out, that you still find creepy to this day?
Yeah, that makes sense...
Over the past couple of weeks local elections have taken place all over the country, and the Labour Party took an absolute pasting.The party acknowledged that one of the reasons for this is the rising cost of living, which they blame on the state of the global economy and the rising cost of oil.
Today, truckers throughout the country are planning a mass protest in reaction to government plans to increase fuel and road tax.
So, to recap, the Labour Party have taken an election spanking, accept that it's partly because people are broke and have subsequently decided to increase the cost of living.
We're governed by morons. I know that doesn't come as a big shock or revelation to anyone, but every week that goes by just makes me despair further. These people are allowed to roam the streets, freely!
A century ago, such behaviour was treated with a tap to each temple and the forehead with a small hammer and chisel.
Artistic Littering
Saw this on my way to college the other day, and it made me smile:
The Future's So Bright...
Following a short conversation about fashion, Lil' pd asked - nay; demanded - to see pics of our favourite items of clothing, so here be mine:
I've got four pairs of shades: One similar to the above, but rounder; one rounder still and a little bigger (they make me look like a bug); one round, but narrower and smaller that I got off friends for my 26th birthday. Those I wear when I wanna be more dressy.
But the above is my favourite pair. They wrap around slightly to protect my eyes better, they're blue tinted, which I've always found works best for filtering glare and, or course, they look the best 8-)
In Other Music-Related News...
I've chatted to a couple of people tonight who had no idea this existed...Yes, that is Antonio Banderas.
The Greatest Eurovision Song Ever?
"There's no Peter Pan, so what can you do?"
Genius!
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness
I know there are a few Penny Arcade fans kicking around on the blog, which is why it's surprising that I haven't seen anyone post this yet (it's very possible someone has and I've simply missed it):For those among you who aren't aware, this has just hit Xbox Live. I'm downloading the trial version as I type...
They Rise Again
I was very sceptical when this was first announced:Now I'm less so.
The Mystery of Stonehenge, Solved!
Check out the rest: http://channel.nationalgeographic.co...e=05392_00
Whedon Does it Again
Today Weren't A Bad Day
Despite having now completed my English Language course at college, I had to drag myself in today to rearrange something on the last assignment I handed in. It wasn't much and it gave an opportunity to get my results back for a half-arsed piece of work I handed in after a month of stressing over it (the work, not the result).After a month of stressing, I threw something together that I thought was at least somewhere near presentable and settled for that in the hope that it was at least enough to get me a pass (40%). In fact, it was enough to get me a high credit (68%). More surprisingly, the presentation that went with it, which I threw together in 20 minutes during the lunch hour before I gave it, scored a distinction (75%).
Eegads, I thought...
Elated, I took myself shopping, picking up a couple of games for my 360 (Kameo and Colin McRae's Dirt) and a couple of DVDs. I did well with the DVDs. From Russia with Love for £3 and the Lethal Weapon collection for £5!
Arriving home, feeling somewhat pleased with my purchases, I was presented with an intriguing looking package of ample size (easy, girls). I wracked my brains trying to think of what I might have ordered over the past month that would fit the size and shape, but couldn't think of a thing, so cut my way into the box quite carefully.
I regularly frequent an internet store call, simply, Play. Play regularly run competitons generally consisting of a simple question and a rather interesting prize, ranging from signed t-shirts to trips to New York, and I regularly enter them, seeing as they're interesting and free and you never know.
I must've entered a coupla dozen of these comps and have forgotten practically everything I've tried for, which is why it was a surprise to receive a signed copy of Korn's latest album, along with signed t-shirt...
...and a signed exclusive canvas-print of the album artwork...
...which looks frelling fantastic!
Now, if only I had somewhere to hang it...
Cross-Eyed Morality
There’s a debate currently going on in the House of Commons as to whether or not scientists should be allowed to splice human and animal embryos in a bid to find cures for illnesses such as Parkinson’s, and whether to allow parents to have so-called ‘donor babies’ if they have a child with a serious illness.Critics say it’s wrong because it is tampering with nature. These critics are, of course, morons.
Other than in the case of physical injury, what medical treatment is not tampering with nature? As a species we’re living far longer than we are naturally designed to. Cancer patients are kept alive, even cured, by being battered with near-fatal levels of radiation. Antibiotics help fight infections. Lasers help cure blindness. Aspirin eases a headache. All of this is tampering with nature.
As for the ‘donor babies’ thing: this country has the highest teen-pregnancy rate in Europe; possibly the world. These children are not having children out of love, or to further advance our species. They’re doing it to get money out of the government, or because they’re too lazy/embarrassed to use birth control. Gods forbid someone should want to have a child in order to save the life of another!
I’m tired of these simpering, insipid, panicky, ignorant, witless fuck-wits and their knee-jerk freak-outs every time a new course for medical advancement is suggested. They’re more concerned with their cross-eyed morality than with easing people’s suffering and curing the sick.
Puppetry in Motion
Sticking with this week's theme of 'comics'...
I think I've made my stance on racism clear in past (basically, pluck out the eyes of all racists and the world is a simpler and happier place for all), but as to what racism is; I'd like to leave it to someone vastly more articulate:Marcus Brigstocke
07:30, 14-May-2008
.. 3 comments
.. Link
Over on the blog of Twist, our McSpanky has posted a link to the great Ross Noble, doing his thing on Jack Dee: Live at the Apollo. In the Related section, I noticed a vid from an old favourite of mine that saw a while back. I do wonder how much of this will make sense to my American cousins around the board, but bare with it; one of your compatriots will follow...
Yes, I'm aware there's a line in there pinched from Bill Hicks, but at least it's just a line
And, as promised:
"Things are getting strange; I'm starting to worry...
...This could be a case for Mulder and Scully."And, just in case you don't get reference (shame on you):
Get in the Swing
Yet another song fixation: This be Pendulum with Propane Nihgtmares:For some reason, the hook of this song reminded me of Apollo 440, so here's some old Apollo 440, too:
Incidentally, that film wasn't great, but it had some fantastic set-pieces.
Some Classic British Humour
I don't know why this came to mind this morning; I haven't seen it for years. Regardless of the reason, here's Victoria Wood with Let's Do It. Enjoy:And Just How Good Does This Look...?
Arrgh!! Blue screen of death!!I was just coming to the end of writing this post when it happened, too >:(
Fortunately I had the foresight to write it in Word, so I only lost the last paragraph :)
Alas, I did lose a chunk of my Psychology assingment *sob*
(and now efx is struggling... not a good day for technology)
Anyway...
In other game-related news; spurred on by the release of GTA IV and then having an extended go on it on my cousin's PS3, I've finally joined the current-gen market with the purchase of an Xbox 360 :)
In fact, I lucked out. Seeing as my financial situation isn't fantastic, but is far better than it has been for the past eight years, I decided to shop around for a pre-owned console. I know the 360's had its issues, but I couldn't argue with a price tag of £140 with a year's guarantee. Unfortunately, the store offering that oh so attractive deal had none in stock and, from the reaction of the staff, didn't look likely to in the near future, so I instead had to fork over an extra £20 at another store.
It wasn't till I got home and checked the memory that I found it didn't have the standard 20gig HD-Drive that usually comes with the system. No, it was kitted out with a 120gig, which, for those not in the know, costs upwards of £100.
I also picked up a play-and-charge kit for £10 and Gears of War and Halo 3 for £25 (for the pair).
I'm very much happy with my 360 and, in particular, the exclusive titles available for it, however, it is now clear to see why the PS3 is so much more expensive (almost £100 more). For starters it's a Blu-Ray player; pricey bits of kit on their own and made all the more valuable with the death of HD-DVD (though the advantage of this is the HD-DVD player for the 360 is now dirt cheap, and the films themselves will soon be less expensive than regular old DVDs).
Also, online play on the PS3 is free. Okay, £35 for a whole year isn’t bad, but that’s not really the point.
Then there’s the little things. The PS3 has an in-built wireless modem. On the 360 it costs and extra £60. The PS3 controller has an in-built battery pack which can be charged from the system while you play through a standard USB cable. On the 360 that costs an extra £13 (though I went with a non-official pack to save cash - it works just as well (in fact, if the manual’s to be believed, the battery actually lasts longer than the official one)). On the plus side for the 360’s controller, it can turn the system on and off and the trigger buttons are far better then the PS3’s L2 and R2 (which have been changed from the old to be more like triggers, but are too slippery). Finally there’s the system interface, which is frankly a lot neater on the PS3.
But there are two significant advantages the 360 has over the PS3. Firstly, unless you bagged the now discontinued 60gig model, the European PS3 has no backwards compatibility; not even through software emulation. The 360’s is limited, but it is there and it is expanding. Secondly there’s the exclusive titles. Of course, these come down to your own opinion, but I lean more towards the 360 than the PS3 in this respect. Yes, the PS3 has Motorstorm, Heavenly Sword (which I’d like to experience, despite its underwhelming reviews) and the upcoming Killzone 2 and Resistance 2, but the 360 has Halo 3 and Gears of War, and the upcoming Halo Wars, Gears of War 2, Fable 2 and a handful of others that I had in mind, but presently escape me. I know the PS3 has Metal Gear Solid 4, Gran Turismo 5 and Final Fantasy XIII on their way, but, as stunning as they all look, I never really got into the MGSs beyond the first, I’m more of a Burnout fan than Gran Turismo (Paradise is an absolute riot) and FF VII and IX are the only ones I’ve ever managed to stick with without getting bored (with such RPGs, it all comes down to the strength of the plot and characters for me). Besides which, my PS3-owning cousin is a fan of all three, so I can always try them out when he inevitably gets hold of them.
The majority of other great titles on their way - including the above - are all cross-console games and it feels good to finally be able to properly look forward to them.
All that aside, at the end of the day it came down to the price. Through a little shopping around I got my 360 with a 120gig HD-Drive, a play-and-charge kit, Halo 3 and Gears of War for a grand total of £195. Colour me chuffed!
At some point over the next couple of days, when I'm finally done with this damned Psychology assignment, I'm going to seek out GTA IV and trade in my old Xbox and games that don't work on the newbie.
*Edit*
Re: the 120gig HD-Drive thing. I must've been looking at it through tired eyes. It didn't say 114gig remaining, it said 11.4 *rolls tired eyes* I've been staring at my monitor too long...
Flyleaf
Elsewhere, on a somewhat geekier forum full of fellow World of Warcrafters, someone posted a fan vid for a song I'd never heard by a band I'd never heard of.I liked.
I bought their album.
I like.
Flyleaf:
Also, interesting to see such a frail-looking waif of a girl shrieking so convincingly.
Yet ANOTHER Batman Trailer
A bit of Metallica Even Twisty Might Enjoy
From the great Rodrigo y Gabriela:For those of us who also appreciate the original:
I have been majorly stressed over the past month or two, but I'm getting on top of things now. Still have a lot of work to do before the end of the week, but I'm getting there.
The main thing is, I'm caught up with my alerts :)
For Those Who Can't Wait for Sin City 2
Yet Another Batman Trailer (though not what you might think)
And You Thought Zelda Looked Good
Pushing Their Luck
ITV is a rubbish TV network. Over the past ten years, their schedule has been rammed with repetitive soaps, cheap quizzes and gut-wrenching reality shows. They often get some good movies, but can't help showing a half-hour news program half-way through.As mentioned in my last post, it seemed that the network had woken up to how far behind the other networks they were falling when they bought up two big US shows to be shown on their flagship channel: Dexter and Pushing Daisies.
Today it was announced that the second episode of Pushing Daisies is being dropped because nine were made and ITV had only scheduled for eight.
They're idiots.
Shoop-shoop-shooby-do-wah
Over on pd's blog, I was just reminded of this:(I've never heard the uncensored version before)
Then, on listening to this, I was reminded of this:
In other news, several weeks (possibly months) ago, Sarai mentioned a little program on her blog called Pushing Daisies, in which a guy brings people back from the dead for a minute so he can find out what happened to them and collect the reward money. I shrugged it off for baring a striking resemblance to the pilot episode of Torchwood (in which an alien glove is used to bring the dead back to life for two minutes to find out what happened to them).
However, that one parallel aside, the shows couldn't be more different. I'd best describe Pushing Daisies as Amelie meets Six-Feet Under as seen through the eyes of Roald Dahl (and possibly a touch of Tim Burton, though it stars neither Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham-Carter). Witty, whimsical and hugely inventive, it plays out like nothing else on TV at the moment, and kudos to ITV for snapping it up. Over the past five years they've been sticking to the same old format of showing only tried and tested home-grown shows that were getting more dull and more monotonous as time went on. If ever they did buy up anything new from across the pond, it tended to be relegated to ITV2 (their half-arsed digital channel) and bounced around the schedule so no-one could keep track of it.
However, now that they have both Dexter and Pushing Daisies, and are showing them in regular prime-time (well, late-prime in the case of Dexter, but that's to be expected) slots on their flag-ship channel, it seems they're putting some effort into making themselves interesting.
Bionic Woman was also something of a coup for them, though I can see why it failed in the states. The scatter-shot writing and clumsy and repetitive action sequences make the semi-intriguing premise difficult to follow, and the only thing that made it stand out from all the other reluctant-hero shows around was the lead character's attitude and her interaction with the organisation she's compelled to work for (for example, at the start of one episode, while out with her sister, she's ordered by her boss to keep tabs on somebody and make sure they stay where they are for at least five minutes till they can be picked up. Torn between her sister and her job, she asks the man out-right if he wouldn't mind staying-put until he's arrested. Of course he tries to drive away, so she sighs and casually smacks his head off his stearing wheel, knocking him out cold, and returns to her sister).
Former Eastender Michelle Ryan and Battlestar's Katee Sarkhoff are both pleasing eye-candy, but overall the show was simply too amateurish to last.
While on the subject of State-side failures; as many of you will know from Twist's blog, Grindhouse finally got a limited release over here, and on Thursday I finally got to see. I'm very pleased I never got around to buying the individual films on DVD, not because they're not worth owning, but because it made the double-feature all the more special. Planet Terror is, by far, the superior of the two. Every single character is a joy in their own right, the plot is wonderfully ridiculous and the action, with its excessive gore, random explosions and guns with blatantly limitless ammo, is superb.
Death Proof is very different. I got the impression that Tarantino took his film to heart and was more reluctant than Rodriguez to go all out and make something patently ridiculous, then mess around with it in the editing room. The result is very unbalanced. The first act is full of choppy scenes and scratched celluloid. The majority of it is taken up with some very tedious character development aimed at increasing the impact of the final scene, but is so dull, the end of the act is more of a relief than a shock (that said, it is grin-inducingly gruesome).
The second act, though grainy, is otherwise cleanly shot. Again it starts out with some character development, but the second bunch are far more interesting than the first (except for Mary-Elisabeth Winstead, who's purely there as a tasty-looking plot-device). A ten-minute diner scene, which could have been nerve-shreddingly boring, is made entertaining by the performances, the script and the fact that the whole thing is done in a single shot, and a bunch of other Tarantino-esque techniques come into play throughout. The act then ends with about half-an-hour straight of brilliant edge-of-the seat action, the end of which is particularly superb (and hilarious).
Mention also must be made of the spoof trailers. Between the two features, there are trailers made by Eli Roth (Hostel), Rob Zombie and Edgar Wright (Spaced,Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) all truly inspired and all featuring some surprising and big cameos (I wept when I saw Fu Manchu). However, the best of them all comes right at the beginning from Rodriguez and Tarantino. Machete could potentially be the greatest film of all time.
Hmm... Over the past week I've also watched Shaolin Soccer and Futurama: Bender's Big Score, but seeing as how it's past midday, I'm still in my jammies and I only intended on posting the Afroman vid before ranting on about other stuffs, I'll leave them for later (I imagine the majority of you have already seen Shaolin Soccer anyway).
This Looks...Original
It'll be worth it, if only to see Robert Downey Jr. blacked up.
My Thoughts Exactly
I'd just like to say, Oooooh...
Thanks, Deej!
Woke to this this morning:
Hurrah! :D
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Spin-off series and remakes of old shows are always a risk. Sometimes they work (Battlestar Gallactica; Angel), sometimes they're iffy (Bionic Woman) and sometimes they bomb, hugely (Flash Gordon).To do a spin-off by way of a remake seems even riskier, but, this morning, while browsing YouTube for something else, I was reminded of one that worked (as well as being reminded of a song that's genius):
Istanbul Lyrics
It Brings Tears to the Eyes
Tuuuuuunes
First off, Make Mistakes by Infadels:Never heard of them before today, but caught the end of this while channel hopping and liked the sound of it.
Secondly, Cops and Robbers by Hoosiers. So far, three singles and three great videos. This is my favourite of them:
Hollywood Has Found Its Balls
It would seem 2008 is the year of Hollywood shrugging its policy of toning down its action-movie content and playing it safe, and getting back to good old bullets, blood and bad language. Rambo got things going a couple of months ago and Righteous Kill is set to continue the trend later this year. In the mean time there's this:Cracking the Whip
I know I've mentioned InMe (I still get a kick out of that video) a few times on this blog, but last week I took delivery of their latest album, Daydream Anonymous and had to share a piece of it.Firstly, a vid of them performing my favourite song from the album (I recommend only watching the first minute and a half):
Alas the sound quality is crap (though this is the best of the bunch of recordings of this song on YouTube), but I was impressed by Dave McPherson's showyness with his guitar.
This is how the song's supposed to sound:
Cracking The Whip Lyrics
I know I've been quite for the past few weeks. I've been stressing over assignments and am now very far behind with one in particular. If I don't get it in before the end of this week, I'm screwed. How royally screwed remains to be seen.
On the plus side, I received one back today that I'd grown tired of and bodged together as best I could to hand in. I got 68% :D
Didn't See this One Coming
I Vant to Suck Your Bluuurrrrrd
After a long fascination with vampires and the surrounding mythos, I’ve finally gotten around to reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and I must say, so far, I’m unimpressed (sorry Nicola).It opens with the diary of Jonathan Harker, travelling to Transylvania for some dealings with one Count Dracula and, my god the man is dull! From his tedious observations of the places he sees and the people he encounters on his way to the castle, to the laborious description of his growing unease in the company of the Count, I couldn’t help thinking, Please, bite this doofus, already! It was a relief when the juicy stuff about the Count’s strange behaviour and supernatural abilities finally started, but then it ends and we’re whisked away to jolly old England for the even greater tedium of Mina Murray’s journal. To Stoker’s credit, the betrothed Jonathan and Mina are perfect for each other; witless, dull and freakishly obsessed with their respective dreeries...um, diaries. Jonathan goes so far as to sit down in the middle of an attempted escape from the castle to detail his plight.
The only convincing thing about the novel so far is the diary of Dr. Seward; the shrink taking care of a nutter named Renfield.
It doesn’t help that the timeline is all over the place. It’s forgivable when Stoker tells Jonathan’s tale, then back-tracks to tell Mina’s side of things (but I think it was a mistake to cut the action dead just when it’s getting going to revert to the simpering boredom of the brooding missus), but he can’t even keep on track when only focusing on one character. At one point, Mina’s journal jumps two weeks between July and August, then later jumps back to July to run further into August. I can kinda see why, but that doesn’t stop it feeling clumsy and totally unnecessary.
The ghost ship has just crashed on the beach, which, in every film adaptation I've seen, signals ghoulish craziness. I can only hope (though the newspaper correspondence that accompanies that part of the tale was as unconvincing as the rest).
Pratchett on Alzheimer's
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/new...=1&bbcws=1An 'Unfortunate' Write-Off
A few weeks ago I posted a classic from Ocean Colour Scene. As much as I love The Day We Caught the Train, I was disappointed not to find my favourite track on YouTube. Then, of course, I discovered imeem:News on my poor little car that, a week ago, was given a funky new paintjob by a bus: It's a write-off! A little surprising considering the only visible damage was a few scrapes and a missing tail-light, but the isurance company called yesterday to say the whole panel would need replacing at a cost of just over £300. Alas the car's re-sale value currently stands at only £250, so repair is not a viable option. The insurance company will, therefore, be sending me a cheque for the car's list-price, which is somewhere in the region of £1,000.
To say I was upset by the news would be, let's face it, a lie. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss my car. I enjoy driving and I hate public transport, but, looking at it from a studen't point of view, I'm saving £50 a month on insurance, £40 a month on petrol and I'll actually have money in the bank before I go to uni (assuming I don't do something stupid, like go out and buy a PS3...hmmm... No! Naughty imagination! Not happening!).
Actually, I'll probably stick half of it in my savings account and let it build a little interest.
Another track I always wanted to post, but could never find, is an old Bowie cover. It's kinda scary to think it's now 40 years since he recorded this:
In other news, it's Friday and, dear god, I'm bored! I really should have been doing some work today, but I've been too bored to get myself motivated, Instead I've played some Spider-Man 2, read some Dracula and channel-hopped through the shit Good Friday TV. Argh!!
Finally, this being Friday, I couldn't go without posting something noisy >:)
(There are two videos for this on YouTube, but one doesn't embed and the other is of crap audio quality)
Going to have some dinner now and try to waste some time till The Now Show comes on.
'Righteous' Somehow Doesn't Quite Cover It...
(my posting numbers are going to start catching up to pd's)
I Feel the Earth Move
This is why all singers should take up smoking and/or whisky drinking:A Song I Love from a Band I Hate
I hate The Feeling. From their so-so first single, to every boring, twee, soulless and feeble subsequent release from their debut album, I found them dull and not-a-little annoying.I was therefore surprised *pauses to wonder if that would also be considered a split infinitive...probably not, since therefore isn't adverbial...* to find myself loving the first release from their second album:
Kids' Rock
Yes, the video sucks, but the music is genius!Music Embed Test
Hurrah - it works!
Want to embed tracks from your 'puter (pd, I'm looking at you), then go here: http://www.imeem.com/
From Schoolboy Scamp to Spartan King
I wonder how many of my compatriots remember Sean McGuire.Many years ago, Sean McGuire kicked off his acting career in kiddies’ soap-opera Grange Hill, before moving on to grown-ups’ soap-opera Eastenders. As is the way with the more fresh-faced soap stars with limited talent, he then went on to have a (thankfully) short-lived cheesy pop career, before disappearing into obscurity.
A few years ago he randomly popped up in an American sitcom, which didn’t run for long and was never seen over here (at least, not as far as I remember), then went quiet again.
So, why am I rambling about this former Brit child, soap and *ahem* ‘pop’ star?
I saw this trailer aaaaages ago, but have only just found out he’s the one in the beard; a leap as random as Michelle Ryan - another ex-Eastender - landing the role of the Bionic Woman…
I Wants!
Escape the Nest
A bit of an odd one from Editors, but I love the chorus (give it till about 1:30):Currently I am procrastinating...
More Friday Evening Loudness
InMe: Look like Busted......Sound like the musical equivalent of a V12 >:)
Hear Me ROAR!!
Blissed Off My Chonk
Someone just used this phrase on the radio and I felt the need to share :)Read This
From the pen of Strange Cloud: http://qy82.easyjournal.com/entry.as...id=3587620Pricey Petrol, Cheap CDs & GobbledyGoogle Maps
I've spent £100 on petrol over the past week. It should've been less, but Google Maps steered me wrong four times. Public transport would've been less stressful, but twice as expensive.Wednesday morning I visited Gloucestershire university in Cheltenham. Located in the heart of what appears to be a student-housing estate (grotty terraces and many side streets), hope wasn't high for the place when driving in. The campus itself, however, is in stark contrast to its surroundings, made up of half-a-dozen buildings that wouldn't look out of place in Cambridge. It has its own chapel, brand new facilities and on-site accommodation (if I took my time, it would take five minutes to walk to a lecture).
The course itself is ideal, with a focus very much on the craft (as opposed to many Creative Writing courses that focus heavily on literature study), building from the basics in the first year to novel writing in the third. It also branches into vocational writing (journalism; editing; critique).
In the evening I went with friends to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Like the first one, it isn't nearly as intelligent as it would like to believe itself to be, but, like the first one, it's a lot of fun, if you can ignore the silliness (of which there is much). And Nicholas Cage's bleached teeth look very strange.
Thursday I drove across the country from Gloucester to Chertsey where I found a second-hand music store tucked away in a little side street. Such places are few and far between in this country, so I took advantage, buying Cast's All Change...
Walkaway
...David Bowie's "Heroes"...
"Heroes"
...Skunk Anansie's Paranoid & Sunburnt...
Weak
...and Muse's Hullabaloo...
Citizen Erased (I always wondered if he could really make those changes in the chorus)
...for £3 each :)
Unable to resist, I went back the next day and picked up Athlete's Tourist...
Half Light
...and Bloc Party's The Silent Alarm...
Two More Years
...too (both of which were two-disc limited editions - hurrah).
Yesterday I visited Bedfordshire university in Luton. The university has apparently gone through a multi-million pound refurbishment recently. Little of that was in evidence. The course was presented quite well, but my over-all impression is one of underwhelm-ment.
Despite having only visited two of my five choices, it's now decision time. My last offer came through (London Met require passes) and I've now got till the 6th of May to choose one firm choice and one insurance. I would've liked to have visited them all before choosing, but it's been impossible to find out when Brunel's open days are, and East London and London Met don't run them till June, which is, frankly, stupid and not a good advertisement for them. Besides which, London Met's reads more like a literature review course.
Much as I’d have liked to have re-located to the capital, Gloucestershire is going to be my firm choice. I like the campus, the course is ideal and the location is cheaper and far more practical (I won’t have to give up my car). As for my insurance choice…
I’ve also been reading a lot this week. I just finished Dan Abnett’s Horus Rising (epic space opera full of intrigue, philosophy, larger-than-life characters and huge, crowd-pleasing battles) and am now reading Terry Pratchett’s Wintersmith (the last of his stupendous Tiffany Aching Trilogy) and NYX23 (dark and somewhat harrowing, but thrilling and violent Marvel compilation).
I’ve now got nearly 40 post alerts to trawl through. Let’s see if you can guess who’s fault that is… ;p
Back Soon...
I'm outa here! Tonight I'm heading south for the rest of the week to do some uni visiting. I'm staying with friends in Gloucester to visit Gloucestershire uni tomorrow, then I'm bolting over to Surrey on Thursday to stay with other friends and go see Bedfordshire uni on Saturday.On Friday I'm also planning a jaunt into London to possibly check out East London and London Metropolitan, though it seems these things have to be organised and pre-booked these days (meaning I might have to do it all again in June).
In related news, I've had conditional offers from all but one of the universities I've applied to, with requirements ranging from mere passes to credits in both Englishes. I sent my work away to London Met on Sunday, so it might be a week or three before I hear back from them.
No messing up the place while I'm gone, you crazy kids ;)
Be Wise
Get Smart :)Music to set the Tone
In other news, I've made a start oncatching up with post alerts. For the past week, they've been jumping several each day. I've just got it down from 32 to 25 (though pd is likely to bolster that number again before I get home tonight).
*EDIT*
Didn't even think to add this till I saw Sarai's comment:
Who's F@cking Who?
While stick for all those long hours in traffic today, this was mentioned on the radio and really made me smile (N.B. these videos have had millionsof views, so it's likely my trans-Atlantic cousins, at least, have alrady seen them):High Winds and Higher Blood Pressure
My journey from college in Newcastle to my home in Sunderland usually takes between twenty and thirty minutes, depending on traffic.At lunch time today, the high winds that have wrapped this region for the past few days, overturned a truck on one of the roads leading out of Newcastle.
This afternoon I left college at around 3:20.
I got home five minutes ago.
It is now 6:45!!
I spent over two hours stuck in traffic, negotiating one-way systems, bus lanes and a five-way junction being directed by a policeman with seemingly no sense of direction. In the end I thought, Fuck it, drove back to college, left my car in the car park and got the train home.
As I said to Pixie during one of the longer periods of total stillness, Arrrg!!
In other news, I had five post alerts this morning. I now have thirteen...
MY New Song Fixation!
Everyone else is doing it (well, Pixie and Twist are), so I figured I might as well...Getting older, yet kicking just as much ass!
Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!
I'll Be Back
Don’t fret, Deej, this isn’t a ‘goodbye’ either ;)Today, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles reached our shores, and there was geek-like joy across the land.
Lena Heady - she of 300 fame - steps into the heavy-duty, doubtlessly steel-toe-capped boots of Linda Hamilton as the eponymous (started using that word a couple of days ago and now can’t stop) heroine, pumping shotgun shells into indestructible robots from the future who want to kill her son. And a damn fine job she does, too, especially considering the act she has to follow.
Speaking of damn fine, Summer Glau - she of Firefly/Serenity fame - plays one of said indestructible robots, leading to a rather kick-ass confrontation between her and the twice-her-size bad-guy of the first episode
However, two leading hotties, a bunch of big explosions, a few gun fights, lots of speeding around in 4x4s and make-up effects to rival the movies count for nothing (well, little...well, quite a bit, actually...but that's besides the point...) if the premise fails. Bearing in mind that in the film mythology, Sarah Conner dies of leukaemia somewhere between two and three and the film ends…
***SPOILER ALERT***with Judgment Day taking place…***SPOILER ALERT***
…it was difficult to see how they’d get around it. Surprisingly, they have. The logistics of it are…thin, but nevertheless imaginative and, since it’s out of the way at the end of the first episode, it isn’t really worth worrying about and we can safely sit back and enjoy the arse-kicking hotties and numerous big bangs.
Speaking of big bangs, another series to recently hit our shores is The Big Bang Theory; yet another States-born sitcom, this time about a dizzy blonde cutie (Kaley Cuoco *drools*) who moves into an apartment across the hall from a small gang of über-geeks. I quite like a lot of American sitcoms; they usually make me smile (some make me retch and inspire me to pour bleach in my eyes, but they tend not to last (except Hope & Faith - sweet Jesus, that was shit, yet somehow carried on…and on….and on….)), but it has been a long time since one made me laugh out loud. The Big Bang Theory made me laugh out loud….lots!
Yes, the set-up is quite clichéd. Yes, the five central characters scream Stereotype, but the performances and the dialogue are of a level that makes those things fleeting quibbles at worst.
Now I think I shall watch an episode of Futurama (Bender’s Big Score is on its way!) and finish this tasty glass of wine before bed. ‘night y’all!
jj72 - Oxygen
This song always reminds me of my time in Sheffield. I loved Sheffield.I always thought it would be good to have this played at my funeral...
Wave Goodbye
Showing Off
11:19, 19-Feb-2008
.. Posted in Writing Suffs
.. Link
This morning I received a letter from London Metropolitan University regarding my application. They're after two pieces of writing covering any two of prose fiction (no more than 500 words), poetry or drama (no more than 5 sides of A4) by the 4th of March. I'm thinking of sending them Brotherly Love and Styx, but if anyone out there thinks there's anything better or more appropriate in my Portfolio I should send, do let me know.
I also have to write a paragraph (no more than half a page) about the kind of writing I do... *ponders*
The Sky At Twilight
The buildings look almost like the night sky; black and dotted with small pools of light; their rooftops breaking the hazy horizon along with the skeletal silhouettes of sparse winter trees. A dull mist rises from the black, softening to a silver-grey and sepia tones where the land meets the sky beyond the veil. The sky above is the palest of blues, like the thinning skin on an old man’s brow, caught somewhere between light and dark. And in the centre of it all, the sun sets the horizon ablaze; a rich orange glow clinging desperately to the day, that will soon inevitably lose out to the night.That’s a pretty hackneyed interpretation of the view outside our landing window this evening. I opened the blinds thinking a nearby building must have been on fire, but there’s mist outside, thick enough to mostly block the setting sun, but just thin enough so that there’s the richest, most brilliant orange glow on the horizon.
Unfortunately, the only camera I have to hand is the 2.0meg one of my phone, which doesn't come close to capture the brilliance of the scene:
I Caught Up! Yay!!
...and in less than 24 hours :DI love this video, and had almost forgotten about till it cropped up on my playlist just now:
Arthur
Chapter 11 of Terry Pratchett’s A Hat Full of Sky, in which he describes what a human is and its relative place in the universe, is one of the greatest pieces of writing I have ever read.I am sooo far behind with my alerts it isn't even funny. Last week I jumped from 3 post alerts to 11 in less than hour, thought Sod it; I'll wait till tomorrow, and logged in the next day to find I had 22 :/ Damn you, procrastination!
Also, I suck at chess. I'm currently involved in a pitched battle with Dante over on RedHotPawn and he's kicking my ass 13 games to 4 (and two of those were through him making silly mistakes with his Queen)!
Okay, not so much a pitched battle as a shameful drubbing...
Made a few purchases last week that I'm rather pleased with. Two weeks ago I got the first volume of Star Wars: The Clone Wars and it was fantastic! 10 minutes of dialogue; 55 minutes of mental action >:) Last week I picked up the second volume. There's a lot more story in it - tying in directly with Episode III - and the action is, again, fantastic and massively over the top, but it's simply not as fun as the first. I'm looking forward to the CGI movie/series that's on its way...
After over a year of waiting, I finally got hold of the live-action version of Terry Pratchett's Hogfather. Book adaptations are tricky things. The director and screenwriter (more often than not, it seems, one and the same person) are always walking that fine line of staying true to the story while still making a fluid, well paced film. Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings is an example of someone getting it very right. Yes, the ending floundered and I know at least one person who was pissed at the omission of Tom Bombadil (personally I always found that particular scene in the novel a bit dull), but it was otherwise a very faithful adaptation and a truly brilliant trilogy. At the other end of the scale, Chris Weitz's The Golden Compass was pathetic. Not only did he mess around far too much with story, but the film itself was jumpy, inconsistent and managed to be both far too short and extremely dull.
The problem with Hogfather (as with the animated adaptations of Witches Abroad and Soul Music) is director and screenwriter Vadim Jean (you see the pattern?) has stayed absolutely faithful to the novel without understanding what would and wouldn't work on film. The timing for many of gags is way off, interspersed scenes jump around far too much and the pace is often flat. Given that the story is also the fourth in a series (Mort, Reaper Man, Soul Music, Hogfather, Thief of Time - all of which I highly recomend reading) there are also a lot of in-gags that could go right over the head of anyone who hasn't read the prior three novels.
However, that's not to say the film isn't any good. Despite it's flaws, it's still funny, inventive, well shot, well played and enjoyable. Michelle Dockery plays Susan (and, strangely, Death of Rats) - one of my favourite Pratchett characters - perfectly (though she might come across as a bit wooden and/or flat to anyone not familiar witht the character (not that she's a flat or wooden character; just very deadpan (no pun intended))) and Marc Warren, who I've never really rated as an actor, is brilliant as Teatime. My one problem with cast was the late Ian Richardson (to whom the film is dedicated) as Death. There's nothing really wrong with him other than, in the animations, Death is played by Christopher Lee, and there really is no bettering that.
Finally there's Bloc Party's A Weekend in the City. It's kinda difficult to place Bloc Party, genre-wise. They're a blend of indie, rock and techno, using some unusual timings, rythms and ideas without being so experimental as to be inaccessible...kinda Radiohead with a lot less melancholy, or perhaps even a modern-day The Cure.
This is their most recent track, which finally pushed my into buying the album (gotta love those dancing monsters):
(incidentally, if you are going to buy the album, make sure it's the most recent version, as the original doesn't contain Flux)
...but this is my favourite:
"I thought archaeologists were all stuffy old men looking for their mommies."
The Circle is Now Complete
At some point between the releases of Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, two series of Star Wars cartoons were released called The Clone Wars. As a Star Wars fan I, of course, was curious to see them, but I was loathe to pay £15 each for two hour-long cartoons.Today, I found a copy of volume 1 in a store for £3 :)
As if by some turn of fate, I also received a package in the post today from Lil' Miss Pixie Chick containing these fellas:
Gotta love the expression on youngest Obi-Wan's mug
...which, needless to say, but a rather large grin on my face :D
Thank you, Del -x-
Portfolio
According to my tutor at college, a couple of the universities I've applied for might require an interview and/or a gander at my portfolio before offering me a place, and so I've thrown one together covering (I hope) the range of my writing.Subsequently, I've also decided to put it together on line. Some of you might have read some (or all) of this stuff already, but, if you haven't, and you're curious, go check it out and let me know what you think... ;)
I'll get around to polishing the place up a bit another day. 'tis bed time.
"Walking Like Groucho, Sucking on a Number 10"
A friend got me into Ocean Colour Scene back when I was first at university. Alas, with the occasional singular track exception, they very much slipped after the album One From the Modern, but at least their old stuff is still around to enjoy.
Potter Puppet Pals
Any regular peruser of the interweb is bound to have heard of these, but my English Lit tutor felt the need to play this vid in class yesterday to celebrate figuring out how to turn on the speakers on her smart-board, and it's been stuck in my head since:Wundebar!
This got a rather positive response when I linked it over on pd's blog, so thought it only right to share:Train of Thought
I can't remember if I've written such a post... I've been blogging long enough that I'd be surprised if I hadn't, but just in case...I can hear Alicia Keys's No One playing in the other room: Not only a great soul ballad, but sung by a talented hottie. Always good.
Not so good is the gaping hole in the back of my pjs. I don't have any others and they're still comfortable, so I'm sticking with them for now. We'll have to see how long I can put up with the cold morning air whistling through my under-crackers before I bother to get new ones.
Today in English Lit our lecturer arranged a night out at the end of the month for the class. Should be a giggle. We all reckon she'll be a fun drunk...
I was going to write an extensive review of the first two Halo books, but I really can't be bothered this late in the evening, so here's a brief alternative:
The Fall of Reach: Serving as the origin story for both the Master Chief and the Covenant war, this acts more of a set-up for the series than anything else. However, it's fast-paced, thrilling, has some epic battles - on land and space - and Eric Nylund has a fantastic style (though his editor sucks).
The Flood: Despite being based on the first Halo game, it's surprising how much this book doesn't focus on the Master Chief. Instead, this is predominantly the story of the marines who also landed on Halo, and their struggle against both the Covenant and the Flood. At the heart of the marines is lieutenant McKay; a hard-bitten platoon commander who becomes the real heroine of the story. Given his military background, William C. Dietz's styke is a lot more clinical than Nylund's - especially when it comes to the battle scenarios (of which there are many) - and he occassionally gets confused as to whether a character is male or female, but it was an admirably brave move to focus the story away from the Master Chief for so much of the book, and fleshes out the mythology a great deal. Plus it's pretty cool reading the parts you'll recognise from the game; the opening chapter especially.
That said, like the game, it can get bogged down in repetition.
I'm now starting on Terry Pratchett's A Hat Full of Sky.
As I close, this is now playing in the other room:
Another great song (though I know some of you won't agree).
Muse's Wembley gig is coming out on a CD & DVD boxset next month. Shall start saving...
Tonight's Torchwood was a good one. I like Torchwood.
'tis time for bed now. Shall be getting a hair cut tomorrow. Yet to decide which one...
*EDIT* I came up with a Crow story a while back, kinda in response to the pretty shit sequels that were made. Inspired by reading the novel, I've made a start on writing it.
Take That have just started singing in the other. Must now go and kill them (by which I mean turn over the TV).
G'night, y'all ;)
Pre-Emptive (review) Strike
I read James O'Barr's The Crow yesterday; something I've been wanting - but never had the opportunity - to do since first seeing the film back in the early '90s. I've just spent the past half-an-hour trying to review it, but not really getting very far. I want to put the novel into some context, but the story behind the writing of it is quite long and tragic, so I'll simply say the worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone happened to James O'Barr. The Crow was his attempt at catharsis.As such, it's difficult to comment on the story, suffice to say it's quite different from that of the film. It's not that the film was a bad adaptation; simply that the story of the novel wouldn't have worked as it was on film. The main thing was to maintain the essence of the novel, and in that they most certainly succeeded.
What is easy to review about the novel is the art work... IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!
*ahem*
I've read a number of comics and graphic novels with varying degrees of artistry - some great; some not so much - and not one has even come close. Yukito Kishiro's Battle Angel Alita has some truly stunning art-work, but O'Barr makes Kishiro look like a five year-old with crayons.
Today I finally finished The Flood; the second of the Halo novels (thank's again, Nicola ;), but that I'll review later (along with The Fall of Reach, which I forgot to do on finishing that). 'tis bed time...
60 Today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALICE!!!
O-oh Say Can You See...?
Before I Play Catch-Up With Post Alerts...
This week has been something of a full one for me. Monday I finally took myself to see I Am Legend. Tuesday I got the final marks for unit 1 of my college course (I came out with two credits and a distinction overall :) and nattered to Twisty online for the first time in what seems like aaages. Wednesday I went to see Sweeney Todd and nattered on the phone to a friend for two hours. Yesterday I did very little and today I received my first university offer. All I need is to pass my course and Gloucestershire will have me. Easy...I was very surprised by I Am Legend. Big budget + Will Smith usually = over-the-top epic action romp ala Independence Day. Yes, this has its big set-pieces and Smith spends the majority of the film brandishing a gun, but that's not what this film is about. Instead it's about tension, intensity and emotion, with a few frights and a viral apocalypse set in a dead Manhattan.
I did have two issues with the film. Firstly there's the fact that Smith's character is revealed to be 52 at the end (don't worry, that isn't really a plot point). He might look a little haggared, given his situation, but he looks nowhere near 52. Secondly there's his enemy: a bunch of super-human bald albinos. The enemy themselves are a nice idea and well-woven into the plot, but they're all portrayed via CGI, and aren't particularly realistic, lessening their effect.
What really makes this film work is Smith's performance, most especially in an early scene when searching a building for his lost dog. As he steps cautiously through the darkness, breathing heavily and sweating profusely, shivering with nerves as he approaches every corner and blind-spot, I was utterly convinced by - and, subsequently, utterly felt - his dread. Similarly, during the more poignant moments, you share his heartache and frustration.
That's not to say there isn't any action, just don't be expecting too much BANG for your buck/quid. This is more 28 Days Later by way of Castaway than, for example, Dawn of the Dead.
Sweeney Todd is the absolute antithesis of I Am Legend. I was prepared for the singing (it's a musical, afterall), I was prepared for the oddness (it's Tim Burton, afterall) and I was prepared for the violence (It's Sweeney Todd, afterall). What I wasn't prepared for was the all-out sensory and emotional assault.
Loud, brazen, sumptuously monochromatic, yet vibrantly colourful. Horrifying, hilarious and heart-wrenching in equal measure. Inspired songs, very rarely drifting into the realms of cheese (there's a pretty-boy in the cast whose throat I wanted to remove every time he opened his mouth, but he had to be there for plot-movement (sadly)).
The cast are brilliant (even the kid playing 'pretty-boy' is well suited). Depp proves there truly is no genre he can't sit comfortably in. It's difficult to gauge him as a singer as he's constantly in cockney mode, but he can certainly hold a note and his voice is perfect for the role. I was nervous Alan Rickman was going to completely destroy his unwavering cool-rating by breaking into song, but he, too, pulls it off without any trouble. Even Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali-G/Borat) carries a tune with aplomb!
But it's Helena Bonham Carter who steals the show. Her kooky, flamboyant, eccentric performance of Mrs. Lovett put a constant smile on my face, but she gives her just enough pathos to make her believable and sympathetic.
Bear in mind, this is not The Sound of Music. If there were any raindrops on roses, they'd be acidic and melting the petals, and the only kittens' whiskers to be found would be sticking out the top of a meat pie.
It's gruesome, it's fun, it's shocking and it's absolutely fantastic!
Badgering the Smurfy Goddess
Our very own McSpanky directed me here: http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemis.../euphemism'tis my new favourite site!
Earplugs at the Ready
It's 9pm on a quiet and dull Sunday night, and I felt the need for something loud:Yes, I know I've posted this before (a version of it, at least), but it seemed somehow fitting.
Cheers!
A Time For Reminiscing
Being 4 at the time of everything Bowling for Soup are referring to, I don't have a great deal to reminisce about, but I do love this video (and, thanks to such shows as I Love the 1980s, I get the references).
There Can Be Only One
(2,000 years of roaming the world and he hasn't lost his accent?)
And...Relax...
It's short, it sucks and it shouldn't fail to disappoint, but my final essay, closing out unit 1 of my college course, has finally been finished and sent. This thing's been looming over me for so long, today almost feels like Christmas!I know I could have improved both my English Lit and Pychology essays if they hadn't been written in a mad panic, but as long as each is enough to get me a pass grade for the unit as a whole (I need at least 10% for my Psychology essay - I think I've already passed Lit...), then I don't care!
At least, right now I don't care. I'm sure there'll be a strong pang of disappoinment when I levie my grades against those of my fellow, more focused students.
I now have a report for English Language to prepare for and an experiment write up for Psychology to think about, but those can wait till tomorrow...
A Sad Day for Clowns
"Actor Heath Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment on Tuesday, possibly of a drug overdose, New York City police said."The full article.
The great pity is, however well established he was after A Knight's Tale and Brokeback, we was about to become an absolute icon as The Joker.
Oh Yes
Currently in the middle of both a Psychology and an English Lit essay, but this popped up on my playlist and I just had to post a version:Okay, so one looks smacked off his tits and the other sings like a girl, but neither of these facts make the song any less brilliant!
I Are Shadow Worm
|
Your Monster Profile |
 Shadow Worm You Feast On: M&Ms You Lurk Around In: Shopping Malls You Especially Like to Torment: Emo Kids |
(I are supposed to be working!)
Come for the Pics. Stay for the Classic
As mentioned in a previous post, I was taken for a 'flight' on the London Eye for my birthday. As well as the bunch of pics I managed to get on my phone, I also an official group shot of my friends and I (everyone else in the pod seemed a bit camera shy at that precise moment):
From left to right: Ben; Matt (with the strange light shining out of his crotch); Nina; me (strangely cast in shadow and not quite ready for the pic)
Nina - pic-addict that she is - also took a few dozen over the course of the weekend (most of which I managed to avoid :)
Evening meal laid out on arrival
Dressed to the nines for New Year's Eve
On a completely unrelated note, this little classic popped into my head just before writing this post. I don't know why it did, but it deserves mentioning nontheless:
I Suck
Whether it be at college (I have two 2,000 word essays due for next Wednesday and I haven't started either (I've had over almost 2 months), and the last two assignments I did weren't great), at home (been trying an failing to get back into an exercise routine and waisting far too much time taking advantage of my cousin's PS3 while he recovers from surgery) or here on the blogs (did my best to catch up with all the posts in my alerts box, but had to give up after a dozen or so (I am such a slow reader!) and can only hope not to let the numbers get out of hand again).I haven't written anything that wasn't an assignment or a blog post for what feels like (and probably is) months!
Some of my friends' lives are moving on quickly. Others aren't having the best of times recently (PhD friend was supposed to be coming up from Gloucestershire for the weekend, but uni stuff has gotten in the way, and Twisty isn't at her happiest), making my distance from them increasingly frustrating.
It's far too long till I can get out of this godforsaken region and head off to university!
And I've got a stinking cold, that I thought I was over, but has come back to settle on my chest and make me cough lots >:(
On the brightside, Torchwood returns tonight :)
(a very belated) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I’m back! Not that I’ve been anywhere, but I’ve got a lot of work to do for college, so been on a bit of a (sadly unproductive) hiatus. Slowly but surely I will catch up on blog reading.
Our tree :)
CHRISTMAS! I love Christmas. Even after 27 years, I still love Christmas. It might not hold the magic it once did, and my presents pile is considerably smaller these days, but I find the whole time of year incredibly comforting (I’m a child of winter).
My birthday and New Year were particularly special last/this year. I drove down to Surrey to see friends and, as a surprise, they took me on the London Eye for a night-time ‘flight’ (the thing’s owned and operated by British Airways). I still maintain the thing’s nothing more than a big Ferris wheel, but that doesn’t change the fact that the view over London at night is spectacular! Unfortunately I only had a phone with which to gather evidence:
The very top of the pic is only halfway up the wheel
The funky looking building just right of centre is a train station. I can't remember which one...
Where's Guy Fawkes when you need him?
The blue things are trees.
(I've also got a group shot of me and my friends in the pod, but I need to scan it...)
We then went to a steak-house for dinner. Service was slow (it was very busy). Steak was beautiful; big, juicy, succulent and cooked to medium-rare perfection!
The next day was New Year’s Eve and we went to a ‘James Bond’ night at a local restaurant. The event kinda smacked of desperation. It was a nice place, but not nearly as swanky as the drinks prices suggested and the DJ sucked, but met a lot of friendly people (most of whom neighbours of my friends) and enjoyed a fine cigar after the ball dropped. We then ventured to a neighbour’s apartment for more drinks and Wii Bowling into the early hours. Much fun and certainly a change from staying in and watching Jools Holland’s Annual Hootenanny (which I do love, but it’s nice to actually party over the party season).
New Year’s Day we spent in another neighbour’s apartment, drinking and watching football, having a mini pub-quiz and drinking some more, before going to a pub, drinking more and playing a lot of pool.
I got home on the 2nd, full of good intentions to finish the two essays due for college on the 7th and 8th respectively, but had a bizarre night. Despite the festivities of the prior few days, I couldn’t sleep. I must have spent nearly 3 hours staring at my ceiling, desperately trying to clear my mind and feel sleepy, but it wasn’t happening, so I watched the extended version of Peter Jackson’s King Kong. For the fist hour I was wondering if this actually was the extended version as there seemed to be no difference, but as soon as they hit the island, it becomes clear. Almost all of the extended stuff is action, including extended fights and new and big confrontations, adding to the spectacle, which can only be a good thing :)
Somewhere between breakfast and getting in the shower that morning, I caught a cold :/ Oddly specific timing, I know - and the symptoms might have been building over-night and I hadn’t noticed, being a little spaced from not being able to sleep - but that was certainly how it seemed. Unfortunately that had me wrecked and very unmotivated for the few days in which I’d planned to do my work, so got nothing done.
Fortunately, I was okay by Sunday and managed to do my English Language essay, with an aim to getting my Psychology one done on Monday night.
Fortunately, again, our psychology teacher strangely quit and the new one gave us an extra two weeks for the essay. There were a lot of relieved people in class that day (as well some pissed-off ones who hadn’t heard the news and had stayed up very late Monday night getting finished).
*phew* I think that’s all for now.
Shall leave you with this:
*sigh*
I go away for a few days and my alerts are flooded. Give me a little while and I will get around to them...Of Shopping Triumphs and Miserable Disasters
A little late, I know, but I finally finished my Christmas shopping today! Now, before you all gasp in horror, then cock your eyebrows in confusion, I'm driving down south on Saturday to see friends and thought, rather than spend the week leading up to Christmas fretting unnecessarily, I'd save theirs till this week, when I could take more time and put more thought in. As it turns out, I still found myself clueless, but managed.I also nabbed myself a few bargains. With a gift card from a friend, I bought myself the 2-disc, 'ultimate action' edition of Die Hard 4.0 (or Live Free and Die Hard) and the stupendous stroke of French cinematic genius that is Belleville Rendez-vous (or The Triplets of Belleville). In a sale I grabbed Crush for my PSP for £5, and I then happened across the 3-disc deluxe extended edition of King Kong (which I didn't even know you could get anymore) in another sale for (and I had to do a tripple take on this one) £4!
On a high from bargain hunting, I took myself to the cinema to finally see The Golden Compass...
I can imagine the meeting now:
"Okay, we will let you make the film, but I'm afraid we can only give you four minutes for each chapter: five if you chop the last one completely."
"No problem! We'll just cover all of the mythology in a few minutes of conversation, cut a main character, or two (reduce a few of others down to basic plot-devices*) and fill in the gaps with a couple of flashy set-pieces. Who'll notice?"
My god, what a truly awful film! I understand perfectly that changes and sacrifices must be made when adapting such a grand novel for the screen - the Lord of the Rings (or Goody, the Acadamy hasn't got much work to do this year) trilogy is a perfect example - but I've seen more convincing botch jobs on Scrapheap Challenge (or Junkyard Wars). Even the makers of the Harry Potter (or We still have to put up with this specky little twat?) series understand you can't cram such grand stories into under two hours! What the hell were New Line thinking? Bugger, we're out of fantasy epics! Quick, grab a book and cobble something together for Christmas... It's no wonder they went crawling back to Peter Jackson and begged him to come back on board with The Hobbit (or *ahem* Of course we weren't serious about Michael Bay doing it...).
And...relax...
Join me again next week when I'll be ranting about I Am Legend (or Sod it, I've milked this gagged enough, and it wasn't particularly funny in the first place).
---------------------
* Their handling of the gyptians - Farder Coram in particular - was painful!
Ladies and Gentlemen
Please be upstanding for the Christmas anthem:MERRY CHRISTMASS EVERYONE!
Pitiful Hypocrisy
A few months back, when Gordon Brown was handed rule of the country by his peers, he pledged that imigrant criminals - making specific mention of drug dealers - would be deported as there is no place for them in our country.Last week it came out that prison officials had been told criminals that didn't pose an immediate threat - including drug dealers - were not to be deported.
Yes, the British Home Office, who don't have enough data to even hazard an educated guess as to how many illegal imigrants there are in the country (even when they've got a bunch of them cleaning their offices), are proving, yet again, what an ineffectual pack of brain-dead numpties they truly are.
And now to the point of this rant...
Alhassan Bangura, midfielder for Watford footbal club, fled Sierra Leone at the age of 15 because he didn't want to become the head of his late father's cult, and would likely be killed for refusing. In only four years he's risen through the Watford ranks to become a much-admired member of the first team and a young player of the year winner.
In their shockingly finite wisdom, the Home Office has recently over-turned a court decision to allow him to stay in the country and want him deported.
So, if you're a drug-dealer, you're welcome, but if you're a law-abiding young football player, it's back to your own country to be murdered by fanatics.
Of course, the team's owners are taking the case to the High Court and the team, the fans and a great many rival fans are showing their support. Personally I'd never heard of him before today, and I'm hoping with my entire soul the courts tell the Home Office to shove their heads back up their arses, suck dry their own intestines and stay well away from anything that could be interpreted as official.
The Return of the Daily Show
Hurrah!! http://uk.tv.ign.com/articles/842/84...903p1.html"We would like to return to work with our writers. If we cannot, we would like to express our ambivalence, but without our writers we are unable to express something as nuanced as ambivalence."
-- Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert
"Wait till they get a load of me...Oop..."
Yes, 'tis yet another trailer, but me thinks you might just like this one:Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!
The Boy is Back in Town
Keep Your Friends Close...
Appearances can be Deceptive
It's unfortunate that something that looks potentially very cool is doomed to be a gut-wrenching pile of steaming, fly-riddled, shoe-smearing dog poo:'Why?' some of you may ask.
And I answer simply, it is directed by the infamous Uwe Boll.
Brace Yourselves, Fantasy Fans
In semi-related news: http://uk.movies.ign.com/articles/84...098p1.html
Defying Expectation
I love the hook in this song.Not what I'd have expected from the band that brought us this.
In unrelated news, I finished Northern Lights/The Golden Compass today and must say I'm mightily impressed, as well as somewhat surprised. I'm pretty sure the version I've got is not the adult version, but that seemingly didn't stop Pullman injecting a high level of gruesome violence and some pretty stark tragedy.
Going to see the film on Friday...
A bit of lipstick and a dash of wax-paint and everyone labels you ‘a psycho’.
As many of you now know, the latest iteration of The Joker has foregone the extreme chemical peal and settled for a little makeup to achieve his trademark look. Fitting though it is with Christopher Nolan's more 'realistic' approach to the Batman mythos, I always thought it looked a bit cheap and crap compared to the original acid-soaked bleaching.However...
...I have been wrong before (and carving a perma-grin into his own face is nice touch).
Perspective
Do watch if you're easily offended ;)My Dæmon Has Been Chosen
Wait, That's Not a Pontiac...!
03:57, 13-Dec-2007
.. 9 comments
.. Link
As you may or may not know, the great Knight Rider is returning to TV, and the new KITT has been revealed:
For more info: http://uk.tv.ign.com/articles/841/84...121p1.html
Reviews, Rants and Ruminations
Hey folks!Been a while since I last made a proper post. Where to start...?
Heroes: As previously mentioned, I loved this series. At the time of posting this pre-emptive review, I was giddy having just watched the best episode thus far. Series one has now come to a close in the UK, and I must say, meh.
That's right, after all that raving of its genius, the series ended very much underwhelmingly, with jumpy editing, patchy story-telling, blatant continuity errors and a less-than-riveting final conflict. The ending of the story was actually quite interesting and well done, and it did lead on to an intriguing opening for series...sorry, volume 2, but after the 5 Years Later episode - by some way the best of the series - it was disappointing that the climax was so...anti-climactic.
All the same, I look forward to seeing where it goes, should ever they get the 2nd series finished.
Secondly, Sin City: Recut & Extended: This has to be one of the best double-disc DVD sets I’ve seen. Unlike most, which tend to have the film and commentaries on one disc and a shed-load of mostly-tedious documentaries on the second, this features 2 rather different versions of the film. On disc one is the original cinematic version, as brilliant as ever, and with the usual collection of commentaries and documentaries (including some that weren’t on the original DVD release). Disc two features the four stories from the film, presented separately and each with added footage - making the whole thing even more true to source than ever before - along with even more documentaries and commentaries. The Customer is Always Right - the original intro and out-tro to the film - doesn’t really work on its own, but that’s a minor quibble. The rest is great stuff, with more violence, more humour and a little more insight into each of the characters.
Thirdly, Northern Lights/The Golden Compass: Okay, I can’t really review this yet, as I’m still not finished reading it, but I’m powering through in the hope of getting it done before the film is taken off the cinema, and so far I’m loving it! Yes, it’s a kids’ tale about a child of legend on a mystical journey, but, unlike Harry Potter, said child is not an annoying, specky little nerc you’d rather see captured and flayed by the bad-guys.
Finally, Band of Brothers: I missed this on its TV outing and, to be honest, wasn’t particularly interested; at least, not enough to fork out the £20+ for the box-set. However, while shopping one day, I came across the limited edition tin-box-set the series was presented in on its original release, for…wait for it…£6 (€8.35/$12.23). For a ten-hour series of such esteem, that’s an attractive price by anyone’s standards, so I decided to give it a shot.
Following the true exploits of a company of US air-born infantry during the Second World War, and executively produced by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks (the latter of which co-wrote and directed a couple of episodes), Band of Brothers comes across pretty much as Saving Private Ryan: the series. The production values - as you’d expect from the two putting together the money for the whole thing - are outstanding, with some beautiful cinematography and truly epic battle scenes throughout. The performances from the entire cast - half of which are British (Simon Pegg even pops up briefly) - are also fantastic, most especially from Damien Lewis and Donnie Walberg (former New Kid on the Block and brother of Marky Mark, of Funky Bunch fame (as well as a number of Hollywood movies, but I think we all know what his crowning achievement really was…
…Vanilla Ice, eat your heart out)).
Outside of the escapist world of TV, films and books, I’m currently on short-term loan to the Royal Mail until Wednesday, which is excruciatingly dull, but at least I’ll have some money for Christmas. I haven’t started my shopping yet, but shall this weekend.
Less dull right now is college. Lit and Psychology are both going well (though I struggle with the essays for the former - I am not an academic writer), but things have taken an interesting turn in English Language. I believe I’ve mentioned previously about my lack of faith in the teacher. Well, things came to a head on Monday. Our last assignment was to write a profile of someone. On receiving back the first draft, said teacher told me it was fine and only needed a few minor things doing to it. These things were grammatical changes she’d noted on the work, two of which were wrong (first she said I needed to indent the first paragraph, which you never do, and secondly that I needed to replace a couple of dashes with brackets, which didn’t really fit the sentence and she admitted that was a personal choice).
On Monday I received back the final draft (2 weeks after it had been handed in) with a mark of 69% - 1% shy of a distinction. This in itself was frustrating, but what really bothered me was the comment on the front of the assignment that stated it lacked context. Confused as to why she didn’t bring this up with the first draft, I waited till the end of the lesson to ask her.
Her fist defence was that she was quite sure she would have. I assured her she hadn’t.
Her frustration already rising, she then said that even if I had put the context in, I still wouldn’t have gotten the distinction, so I asked what else was missing: “I’ll have to know for future essays.” She hesitated, stammered her uncertainty for a moment while she searched through the course handbook, then came to the conclusion that, actually no, the context was the only thing and it was a pretty big deal. So again I asked why she’d tell me the first draft was fine, when clearly it wasn’t, and again, she said she was pretty sure had.
By now her frustration had reached a peak and she said she’d ‘bent over backwards’ to give us the best grades possible and she expected some appreciation for that.
I said, “Right,” and walked out.
I’ve briefed my personal tutor on the situation and he’s talked with the other Language tutor at the college to discuss a transfer, and all’s looking positive. I’ve got an appointment with the department head on Monday morning. Should be interesting…
Double Blast From the past
Tonight's Later...with Jools Holland features David Gray and The Coral; both of whom were making it big about five years ago; neither of whom have had a great deal of success since. Odd to see them both on the same show on the same night. Still, gives me a chance to post a pair of great songs:Coming Soon to a Small Screen Near You
Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!
Slowly But Surely, It's Coming...
Modern Classical
Over at The Inferno, Dante just posted a piece of music recognisable to most from Kill Bill: vol.1. This reminded me of a personal favourite of the movie theme world, composed by Quentin Tarantino's good friend, Robert Rodriguez, for the stupendous Sin City:Love Bug
In last week's creative writing group we were set an exercise to write something based on a promt. Mine was, "A story about a man who wakes up in the form of an animal, and falls in love with something." This is what came to mind:My brother warned me Geordie girls were weird, but this is taking the piss. All I said was, “You look cold,” and five minutes later I’m staring into a puddle, seeing a bemused frog staring back at me.
Okay, so I might’ve said, “Smuggling peanuts tonight, darling?” but it’s not like I meant anything by it!
Just wait till I catch up with her, I’ll…I’ll…do what, exactly? Get slime in her ear? Poke her in the eye with my tongue? Ribbit at her in a derogatory tone? She’ll probably tern me into a sodding newt!
I suppose I could always… What is that noise? It sounds like a giant fly.
Bloody hell, it is a giant fly!
A huge, disgusting…hairy…juicy…fly, swooping majestically through the air… Its crunchy, segmented body twisting this way and that as it pirouettes in a mid-air ballet… Its four elegant, gossamer wings fluttering playfully… The moon sparkling like a galaxy of stars in its big, red, hexagonal eyes…
That’s it, my little friend, come closer. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to say hello…and give you a quick…gentle…kiss!
I know it's wrong...
...but I can't help but find this...hot :/
Blair Witch meets Godzilla?
It's looking that way to me...Mixed News for Doctor Who Fans
http://uk.tv.ign.com/articles/837/83...942p1.html(I will get back to proper posting soon - still getting used to working)
For Dante
As promised, a little hardcore rock'n'roll to make him feel more manly:This is...Surprising
I love Snow Patrol's Run. I have done since the second time I heard it. The first was its debut play on Zane Lowe's evening show on Radio1. It was playing in the background while I was in the middle of a heavy writing session, so was listening just enough to know I liked it. When 10pm rolled around and I finally closed up my laptop, cutting off the only light in the kitchen at the time, the song was played again. I layed my head on the table and listened intently. When the rise in the instrumental break hit, I actually shed a tear.No song has ever made me shed a tear!
The point is, given my love for the song, I'd have been pretty miffed to hear anyone attempt to cover it, let-alone some warbling bint from a TV talent show!
However:
The fact that she repeated the first chorus rather than include the second is a shame, but let's face it, it's a minor quibble.
Still, nothing beats the original:
(had to use a fan vid because the official one is of the cut-down single version of the song - plus, any excuse to show off the marvelousness that is Doctor Who)
Another Dose of Friday Night Rock 'n' Roll
The blogger is playin' some forgotten song
Much like those old buildings that will never crumble, they just don't make 'em like this anymore:And, more than 3 decades on...
Luck of the Irish?
Over on pd's blog, the DCoE directed me to a Muppets vid. While viewing, I came across this heart-warming work of genius:A Quick Precursor
In three weeks' time, I'm going to post a full review of the first series of Heroes.However, having just watched episode 20/23, I feel I must pre-empt that review with a modest hint at the context I'll most likely be adopting...
HEORES IS SO FUCKING BRILLIANT I WEEP!!
*ahem*
To be continued...
Underwhelming, apparently :(
A couple of months back, Heavenly Sword - the big hope for the PS3 and first big poster-child for the current-gen systems - fell someway short of expectations. An impressive feat of production it may have been, but as a game, it was short, repetitive and ultimately disappointing.And so to the next big hope: Assassin's Creed. Alas...
Playing Catch-Up
It seems like a while since I last made an update-type post (October 30th!) so...where to begin...College is still going well. My confidence is growing in English lit (I struggled at first with the analytical stuff, but as we venture into poetry, I think I'm getting the hang of it), English language is a piece of piss (which, for those unfamiliar with that particular colloquialism, means it's easy) and psychology remains interesting. The one problem I have with the latter is the tutor has piled the pressure on. I gave her a copy of the refelctive piece I wrote, which impressed her to the point that she now expects a distinction (70%+) from my next assignment.
I told her I'd do my best.
Seeing as university applications have to be completed soon, I've also been looking into where I want to be in a year's time. I've decided I want to study Creative Writing, which I always assumed to only be available as a joint course with English. However, Brunel University in Uxbridge (near London) runs a stand-alone course, so that will be my first choice, but I still have to come up with alternatives.
Outside of academic stuffs, I've got a job! It's only for four weeks, doing data-entry for the Royal Mail, but it will provide Christmas money :D The work itself is easy. During the assessment last week, I averaged over 930 items per hour, with 99% accuracy. The pass mark was 300 items with 80% accuracy. I start on the 26th.
Ideally I'd like to get something that runs a bit longer as I've not just Christmas to think about. I've a friend's birthday on the 27th (though the present buying for that is done), our very own Pixie's on the 21st of December, I'm possibly going to Edinburgh at New Year to celebrate Hogmanay (in a kilt) and same friend who's birthday it is on the 27th is paying a visit at the end of January.
*sigh*
Ooh, and I saw Stardust on Monday. On the surface, this looks very much like a typical fairy tale: Boy travels to mystic kingdom, finds true-love and high-adventure and becomes a man. Which, in many respects, is exactly what it is.
However, this is from the pen of Neil Gaimen (Neverwhere, Sandman, Mirrormask, shed-loads more), so typical, it ain't. There's a man who was a goat, a goat who was a man, a rapidly aging witch, princes dropping left, right and centre, flying pirates (not all of whom live up to the stereotype) and more cameos than you'd find in an average series of the Simpsons (some of which are difficult to spot - took me ages to realize a certain ghost was being played by David Walliams). It’s even narrated by Gandalf!
The cast are also a treat, most especially Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro who are clearly loving every minute of their respective roles. In fact, I’d go so far as to say De Niro gives the performance of his career! I was even impressed by Clair Danes's English accent.
Of course, it’s not perfect. There are glaring continuity errors and some very dodgy editing in parts, it often treads dangerously close to sappiness and a little more swashbuckling would have been appreciated, but these are small things. The special effects are a mix of superb and suitably cheesy, it mostly moves at a tireless pace and there are a couple of great (if somewhat bizarre) swordfights thrown in.
Plus, they make the very intelligent move of getting the ‘I love you’s out of the way before the big climactic stuff, to avoid people leaving early or retching during the ending.
All in all, it’s very much in the same vein as The Princess Bride, only bigger and without the dodgy set-up of the old-man telling the story to his sick grandkid.
Southland Tales
This one looks weird, but really rather good:The 'I Wish I Could Count to TEN' Meme
TEN THINGS1. Are you single?
Sadly, yes
2. Are you happy?
I will be when my latest assingment's finished
3. Are you bored?
Nope, busying myself with a meme
4. Are you sad?
Not really
5. Are you Italian?
Not at all
6. Are you German?
Not that I'm aware of
7. Are you Asian?
Not likely
8. Are you cool?
Comfortably warm
9. Are you Irish?
I have been accused once or twice, but I honestly don't know
10. Are your parents still married?
My dad's a widower
EIGHT FACTS
1. Birth Place:
England's north-east
2. Hair Color:
Dark brown with bits of grey
3. Hair style:
Bit of a curly mess
4. Eye colour:
Blue
5. Birthday:
December 30th
6. Mood:
Early morning haziness
7. Where do you live?
Sunderland
8. Lefty/righty:
Righty.
EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No
2. Why did your last relationship fail?
Alas, never been in invloved in one
3. Have you ever been hurt?
Yes
4. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Not that I'm aware of
5. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
Yes
6. Are you afraid of commitment?
No
7. Have you hugged someone within the last week?
No
8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Stupid bloody question
NINE THIS OR THAT
1. Love or lust?
Love
2. Hard liquor or beer?
Whiskey
3. Cats or dogs?
Cats
4. A few best friends or many regular friends?
Best friends are bestest
5. Television or Internet?
Me likes my TV
6. Pepsi or coke?
Drink neither
7. Wild night out or romantic night in?
Chance of either would be a fine thing
8. Night or day?
Night
9.IM or phone?
I gets tongue-tied on the phone, or just start spouting garbage
NINE HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out?
No
2. Been skinny dipping?
No
3. Done something you regret?
Yes - anyone who says they haven't is a fool
4. Bungee jumped?
So want to. Sky dived (sky dove?) once
5. Finished an entire jaw breaker?
Finished a GIANT jaw-breaker once!
6. Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?
Yes
7. Wanted an ex bf/gf back?
Never had an ex to want back
8. Cried because you lost a pet?
Never had a pet to cry over
9. Wanted to disappear?
Yes
NINE PREFERENCES
1. Smile or eyes:
A true smile is in the eyes
2. Light or dark hair:
Preferably dark
3. Hugs or kisses:
Right now, either would be nice
4. Shorter or taller:
I ain't that fussy, though it's nice being able to lift someone into a hug
5. Intelligence or attraction:
What Twisty said: Intelligence is attraction.
6. Romantic or spontaneous:
I didn't know they were mutually exclusive
7. Hook-up or relationship:
See '3'
8. Smelly feet or smelly breath:
Feet - they can be avoided
9. Play the guitar or into sports:
Guitar, always
TEN LASTS
1. Last phone call you made:
Rinita
2. Last phone call you received:
From Reed Recruitment concerning a job
3. Last person you hung out with:
Leo, guy from college
4. Last person you hugged:
Nicola
5. Last person you tackled:
Can't remember having ever tackled anyone... Shall have to try it some day.
6. Last person you IMed:
Twisty McSpanky
7. Last text message you received:
As above
8. Last person(s) you liked:
Tricky...
9. Last person you missed:
Miss my friends constantly
10.Last person you kissed:
Friendly peck: Nina
With more fervour: Hmm...probably Del. I really need to get out more!
Review Double-Whammy
09:43, 26-Oct-2007
.. Posted in Movie Stuffs
.. Link
First, Renaissance: In Paris in 2054, a young researcher for a big name company is kidnapped and a hard-bitten cop is set on her trail. Cue mystery, intrigue, heaps of atmosphere, gunfights and car chases.
The word 'noir' doesn't really begin to cover Renaissance. Yes, it's black and white, but not in the sense of the noir thrillers of old (shot in varying shades of grey); this is literally black and white (with a fleeting dash of colour towards the end). More important to the style than the colour-palette, however, is that the film is French, which means the settings are rich, the action is graceful, the characters are varied and colourful, the melodrama is toned just right and everyone smokes.
Also worth mentioning is the cast. Daniel Craig, Ian Holm and Jonathan Pryce all have leading roles and the rest of the cast may not be recognisable names, but they're certainly recognisable voices.
Second, Best in Show: Another mockumentary from the creators of Spinal Tap, this follows an eclectic bunch dog fanatics as they prepare for a big dog show.
Improvised around a skeleton script, this film is hilarious. The simple set-ups are all played out to perfection by a cast of genii who embody a fantastic group of obsessive freaks, my favourites being the sex-starved couple who hold their dog in such higher regard than themselves they constantly fly into fits of panic and rage with each other and anyone within range over any minor pooch-related problem.
I aim to avoid any more movie watching today as I really should be getting on with some psychology revision, like I planned to yesterday (damn you, DVDs!).
Oh, the Disappointment...
08:48, 8-Oct-2007
.. Posted in Movie Stuffs
.. Link
A couple of years back, and much to the surprise of a great many people, Russia stepped forward as yet another unlikely country to show Hollywood how it should be done by releasing Night Watch; an elaborate, weird, inventive and original fantasy horror, and first in an epic trilogy.
Two years later and the second film in said trilogy - Day Watch - has been released and, oh my, does it suck >:(
Like Night Watch, Day Watch is brimming with inventive ideas and impressive set-pieces (including a pretty damned funky scene with a car driving along the side of a building (think the bike race in Ultraviolet, but far less cartoony)), but their all lost in slew of scatter-shot story-telling and unfunny, out-of-place comic set-ups.
Fortunately, Day Watch ends in such a way that the trilogy's finale, Twilight Watch, could literally be anything. My tired mind waits in hope...
This Is Impressive
05:17, 4-Sep-2007
.. Link
...among other things ;)
A Warning Not to Tread on Me
07:32, 2-Sep-2007
.. Link
|
Michael Adam Brockbanks -- [adjective]: Like in nature to a banana peel 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
A Quick Physics Lesson
12:11, 2-Sep-2007
.. Link
Some time ago, I had an idea for a sci-fi novel set around someone breaking one of the fundermental rules of physics; i.e. faster-than-light travel (see it here). I've always heard it's impossible, but assumed the problem was creating a propulsion device capable of such acceleration. Near-light speed has been proposed through the use of a solar sail (basically a flexible solar-panel that catches a beam of light like a boat's sail cathces the wind) and I loosely based my idea around that, but then I read Stephen Hawkings's A brief History of Time, which completely scuppered the idea.
The problem is this: As an obeject accelerates, its mass increases. Eventually its mass becomes infinite and so the energy required to accelerate it further is also infinite. Even if it were possible to create some kind of perpetual or self-replicating energy source, there's a slightly bigger problem. As an object's mass increases, so to does its gravitational pull. Infinite mass = infinite gravity. Therefore, accelerating an object to the speed of light will effectively make that object the centre of the univers, into which all be drawn. In other words, you create a blackhole that will literally eat everything.
Which pretty much puts pay to that novel idea. Though it does, perhaps, inspire another one...
White & Nerdy (take #1)
05:50, 31-Aug-2007
.. Link
I'm sure most of you out there have, by now, seen the video for Weird Al's White & Nerdy, but, just in case, watch this:
Now, on first seeing that video, it took a moment to realise the bloke doing the ingenius dance in the background of some of the shots was, in fact, Donny Osmond, which just made the whole thing ten times funnier.
Then I saw this:
I hope I have that much stamina when I'm his age!
Could Someone Please Stop the Room Spinning?
07:45, 30-Aug-2007
.. Link
The Bourne Supremacy was a great film - plot, performances, locales, action, all good - with only one real downfall; director Paul Greengrass seemed to have never heard of a steady-cam, leading to some very iffy camera work, especially during the fight sequences.
Three years on and Greengrass is still ignorant to that simple advancement in movie-making technology :rolleyes: Worse still, his camera-men seemed to constantly be in a state of abject terror, unable as they were to keep the camera still for more than three seconds. Worse still, every single over-the-shoulder shot drifted behind an actor's head so that half of the screen was obscured during conversations. It's as if, over the intervening period between Supremacy and Ultimatum, Greengrass has managed to forget what little he used to know about filming.
However, The Bourne Ultimatum is a good film. The story is again weaker than Identity, but satisfying and intriguing nonetheless, Matt Damon's performance is rock solid, as are those of the rest of the cast, and the action seemed fantastic (what could be made of it, that is).
It isn't worthy of the mass praise that's been heeped upon it and I would have liked to have seen Doug Liman stay on for the whole trilogy, but it's still a good end to a good trilogy. Just be wary if you suffer from epilepsy or motion sickness...
The Greatest Ad in the World, Ever!
08:01, 30-Aug-2007
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DEATH FROM ABOVE!!
06:19, 29-Aug-2007
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A cartoon about a doggy and an ickle wabbit (type thing). Sounds cute, don't it...
Tory Twit
07:37, 28-Aug-2007
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Yes, I know, it could be anyone, but today it's their esteemed (soon to be ex) leader. From IGN:
In the ongoing battle between politics and video games, UK Conservative Party leader David Cameron has said that developers have a responsibility not to "promote casual violence, the gang culture and the degradation of women".
While outlining the Tories' plans to combat anti-social behaviour in UK, Cameron said that individuals who make films, games and music have a social responsibility not to negatively influence adolescents.
He explained: "We are never going to deal with crime unless we look at the broader context and say, 'Yes, tough laws, strong action on the police, but also action to strengthen our society'. And that includes, I think, video games and things like that where we do need to think of the context in which people are growing up."
While outlining the Tories' plans to combat anti-social behaviour in UK, Cameron said that individuals who make films, games and music have a social responsibility not to negatively influence adolescents.
He explained: "We are never going to deal with crime unless we look at the broader context and say, 'Yes, tough laws, strong action on the police, but also action to strengthen our society'. And that includes, I think, video games and things like that where we do need to think of the context in which people are growing up."
I'd be shocked an amazed if he has any actual experience of what he's talking so unauthoritatively about.
IT'S ESCAPISM, you twonk! And children seem to be far more aware of this than the dim-witted numpties who want to blame pop-culture for all of life's woes.
Note also the prize puritanical pillock says nothing about the ignorant parents who gleefully expose their kiddies to these kinds of films, games and music despite innumerable warnings as to their content :rolleyes:
"Yay - improve society by stripping away civil liberties! That's the way to go!!"
*grr*arg*rant*
A Superior Sequel?
01:23, 25-Aug-2007
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A couple of years ago, Aliens vs. Predetor was released to much anticipation and subsequetn disappointment. Two great horror franchises with a string of interlacing novels, comics and games, released as a throw-away action flick that sccumbed far too easily to cheese and cliché. It was, hence, a surprise to find out a sequel had been commissioned.
However, the writers were quick to point out the failings of the first film and pledged something darker, more brutal and more in-keeping with the source material.
And, by gum, they might just have cracked it (to a degree):
With Friends Like Wees
04:10, 23-Aug-2007
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So, last week Twist got me started on making Wees. Having made my own...
I got bored and started making more. The various celeb ones are posted here, but I also did a few friends:
Yes, it has been a very slow week...
...and Wild
06:16, 22-Aug-2007
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This looks like it could be the greatest game ever!
I Ran Over a Llama Because That's How I Roll
07:20, 21-Aug-2007
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I posted this some time ago and I thought, since a few more people read me now, I'd try for a few more responses...
Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a Ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the colour of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm cool like that
Black-----------because that's how I roll.
Pink------------because I'm a homosexual.
Red------------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I hate myself.
Purple---------because I'm myself
Grey----------because I was drunk
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange-------because I hate my family.
Brown--------because I was high.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None--------because I cant control myself
A Non-Stolen Meme (A-Z)
09:34, 21-Aug-2007
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1. A is for age: 26
2. B is for beer of choice: Many of my compatriots will scorn, but, Budweiser
3. C is for career right now: Unemployed, but heading for college
4. D is for your dog's name? Don't have one
5. E is for essential item you use everyday: Coffee
6. F is for favorite TV show: Futurama (though Heroes has become a close 2nd)
7. G is for favorite game: Board: Trivial Pursuit Video: Final Fantasy VII
8. H is for Home town: Sunderland
9. I is for instruments you play: Alas, none :(
10. J is for favorite juice: Good old fashion Orange
11. K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: Many, many people's
12. L is for last place you ate: My bedroom (waffles for breakfast)
13. M is for marriage: Maybe one day
14. N is for your name: Michael Adam Brockbanks
15. O is for overnight hospital stays: 2: First when I fell off a climbing frame headfirst when I was a kid and fractured my jaw. Second the night my mam died.
16. P is for people you were with today: Dad at home
17. Q is for quote: "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx
18. R is for Biggest Rant: Politicians are scum (which is sadly not a generalisation)
19. S is for status: Single
20. T is for time you woke up today: About 7ish, but didn't get out of bed 'til about 8:30
21. U is for underwear you have on now: Blue boxers
22. V is for vegetable you love: Potatos (only veg I'll eat)
23. W is for worst habit: Picking my nose :rolleyes:
24. X is for x-rays you've had: Left arm. Right cheek. Skull. Teeth a few times.
25. Y is for yummy food you ate today: Waffles
26. Z is for the zodiac sign: Capricorn
My Chemical Weemance
05:44, 20-Aug-2007
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Today has been a dull one and, to fill the time, I've been wasting it on WeeWorld:
I've done a few friends, too, and now I'm trying to think of others to do. Any suggestions?
Yet Another Stolen Meme
09:14, 19-Aug-2007
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1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No. by some accounts, I'm missing out...
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I used to be terrified of rollercoasters when I was a kid. Nowadays, I'm lucky if my heartrate increases, though there are a few I want to try that I think would change that.
3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
I can't remember the last time I was sledding. We don't get much snow around here, and we didn't take the opportunity while in Iceland (which, in retrospect, was foolish).
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Someone else. It's a very warm feeling.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I agree with Chica: I would believe in them more if I were to actually see one.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Overly so. My mind seems to be coming up with stories and/or characters every waking moment. It's fun, but does nothing for my focus :rolleyes:
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
I'm too aware of media influence to judge one way or the other
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Angelina Jolie, by a great distance.
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Yes. I watch the Daily Show and listen to the Now Show.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes.
12. What's your favorite commercial?
This one:
13. Who was your first love?
The same as my only love.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No. You never know.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes, but it ain't a very big one.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I hate Baseball.
17. Have you ever been ice skating?
Used to go quite a bit in my youth.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Quite often, though not for long.
19. What's the one thing on your mind lately?
There are always a great many things on my mind.
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes. You never know.
21. What talent do you wish you had?
Playing the piano.
22. Do you like sushi?
Yes.
23. What do you wear to bed?
Pants (or 'shorts' if you're on the other side of the Atlantic)
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Oh yes.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Jessica Alba...oh yes...
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Not that I'm aware of.
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Vegitables, in general (though I like spuds)
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Anyone who says they haven't is lying.
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes, but not very hard.
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
No, but I'm not one to fully discount anything.
It's All Me, Baby!
01:27, 18-Aug-2007
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Inspired by Twisty's Avatars, I thought I'd have a go myself (though I don't have the patience to do as many):
Simpsonized:
Muggin:
WeeMee (my favourite):
Dick Cheney Talking Sense
05:56, 17-Aug-2007
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No, I haven't gone insane...just yet... :D
Following this astonishing revelation, Jon Stewart talked to Cheney's biographer, and proved why his forum should be sooo much bigger than Comedy Central:
Another Swiped Q&A
03:38, 17-Aug-2007
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Swiped from Nysak:
Summer of 2007
be honest now...
1. Better than last summer?
No. I was working and more financially secure last summer. Been kinda insecure this summer.
2. Told someone I love you?
No
3. Cried?
No
4. Wanted someone you couldn't have?
Yes
5. Been to the beach?
No. Not a big beach fan
6. been to a park to swing?
No
7. How many parks have you been to this summer?
0, I think. Haven't gotten out much this summer
8. Stayed up all night?
No, but I have woken up ridiculously early a few times
9. Went shopping?
Sparingly (broke :()
10. went swimming?
Haven't been swimming for years
11. Been asked out?
No
12. What was the best picture you took or were in this summer?
Haven't seen many photo ops, but I did take a sort of decent one of myself
13. Got in a car with a stranger?
No. I can drive
14. Lost someone close?
Fortunately not
15. Slept in someone else's bed?
Yes
16. Had someone sleep in your bed?
Nope
17. Been to a club?
Alas no. No one to go with right now
18. Been grounded?
Never
19. Ran?
Yes. Was at the pub with my dad and someone said our house alarm was going off. It's a 10/15 minute walk to the pub. I was back at our house in just over 2.
20. Regret something?
Yes, but I'll be starting to fix it come September
21. cleaned your room?
A couple of times
22. Done anything against the law?
*ahem* Every time I'm in my car...
23. Ate Coldstone?
Ate what?
24. Got in a fight?
No
25. Stayed in a hotel?
Not since spring
26. Flirted with someone?
On-line, yes
27. Biked?
Not for a very long time
28. Gone to a concert?
No
29. Streaked?
No
30. skinny dipped?
No (ain't I an exciting ol' soul?)
31. Did you kiss more than 2 people?
Haven't kissed 1 :(
32. How many swimsuits did you wear this summer?
0
33. Have you kissed somebody in the last 3 weeks?
See 31 (wait, what happened to the numbers...?)
34. Miss someone?
Yes
35. How's your ex doing?
Don't have one
36. Is there someone you want to fight?
Oh yes
37. Do you like someone right now?
Yes
38. How many summer weddings did you attend this summer?
None, but going to one next month...or is it October...?
39. What are you doing tomorrow?
No plans
40. Did you resemble a lobster at any time of the summer?
I burnt very easily as a kid, but not any more
41. Where did you view the fireworks this summer?
We don't have any big fireworks celebration during the summer in this country
42. Do you want to go back to middle school?
No, but I am going back to college :D
43. Have you ever watched the Britney Spears movie?
No. Nor will I. Ever. And if anyone should try to make me, their life insurance had better be paid up.
44. What did you do yesterday?
Straightened out a little confusion at the jobcentre, grumbled at the copy of King Kong I'd just gotten not working, played Driver: Parallel Lines on Xbox, laughed heartily at some good Thursday night TV and did some stuff on Facebook.
45. Who did you ride in a car with last night?
No one, 'less you count the guy I gave a taxi ride to in above-mentioned game
46. Are you tired?
Nope, though I do fancy more coffee...
47. Did you hydrate yourself enough this summer? *plenty of water
There's water in coffee, right? Does that count?
48. What color socks do you have on?
I tend not to wear socks when I'm home. No point
49. What color is the shirt you are wearing?
Black t-shirt
50. Pants?
Grey. Oh wait, this American ain't it. Khaki trousers
51. What is the farthest distance you traveled this summer?
Diagnolly down the country to Gloucestershire
52. What is the shortest distance you traveled?
I've turned over in bed a few times
53. Does your family own any boats?
?!
54. Have you ever kissed your cat?
Chance would be a fine thing. Oh wait, you said cat...
55. Where were you when 7/7/07 happened?
Which one was that?
56. Summer movie?
Yes, I've seen a couple (next time, try to be a bit more vague, why don't you)
57. if you had the summer to do all over again what is one thing you would do differently?
Save more money
58. The last text you received on your mobile was from?
Nicola
59. Where is the weirdest place you have slept this summer?
My bed. I know it don't sound like much, but you don't know my bed
60. Where was your default picture taken?
Ironforge
61. One best memory from the summer?
Talking to a friend on the phone
Vanessa Carlton - Twilight
03:54, 16-Aug-2007
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I just came across this song purely by accident, while looking for something else (I can't remember what):
(Plus, it shows the Wii in a much better light than I've seen so far)
Varin - Ch.2
07:57, 14-Aug-2007
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I posted the first chapter of this a little while ago and, today, I've been looking back through it and quite liking what I've got so far. Here's chapter 2 (I know I've got half a dozen other things going right now, but focus has always been a failing, so you'll just have to bear with me - the rest will come).
Warning - this is a lengthy one...
A thousand miles away, Shalandra Morrena Calnarive-Velcine was awakened by the sun streaming into her bedroom. She groaned and turned away, throwing a pillow at her nanny as she did so.
“Come now, mistress,” said the nanny. “You know how cranky you get if you miss breakfast.”
“Darla, if I wake at noon I can still start my day with bacon and eggs.”
“It’s a school day, mistress. If you wake at noon you will miss your lunch as well. You know how your father is when it comes to your studies.”
Shalandra rolled onto her back and smiled at her nanny. “You know my father is too soft with me, Darla. You say so yourself often enough. He would never deny me lunch.”
Of course, she was right. Darla knew from experience that Shalandra’s father could forgive his daughter anything. It was very sweet, but it often made her job difficult.
Still, the nanny gave the young girl a wry smile. “That may well be true, mistress, but he has left me in charge while he is away, and if I feel it necessary, you will go the day with naught but water.”
Before Shalandra could respond, her pillow was thrown back in her face. “Now, up,” the nanny said sternly.
*
Marcus could barely remember the last time he’d come up against a lock he couldn’t pick, but the one he now faced was beyond him. It wasn’t that it was particularly complicated, but it was so old and so rusted, it would have done him no good even if he had the key.
Though he was outwardly very still, his mind raced with possibilities: I could chip away at it ‘til there’s enough to get some leverage on… No, that could take hours. I could work on the hinges… No, they’re almost as rusted as the lock. I could try to simply break the door down… No, that would also take hours, as well making a lot of noise…
Suddenly there was a whoosh of air past Marcus’s ear and a shard of glass lodged between the door and its frame, piercing the lock.
“I was just thinking along those lines,” Marcus said.
“If we always waited around for your thinking, we’d have been in jail since we were seven.”
Varin strolled straight past his friend and pulled at the door. Despite the lock being broken, the hinges still held fast.
Marcus scoffed. “Maybe we should’ve brought a battering ram.”
Varin planted both feet on the doorframe and yanked at the door as hard he could. The rusted hinges screeched like nails on a chalkboard as the door slowly opened. Marcus tried not to look impressed, but Varin’s expression told him he was failing.
“Keep those ideas coming,” Varin said with a cocky smile.
Marcus rolled his eyes and strolled through the door. The room was in near-complete darkness, the only light coming from a plinth at the far end from the door.
“That’s it?” Marcus said, disappointed.
“I can’t see any more cracked, luminous emeralds in here,” Varin replied. “It must be.”
Marcus’s frown turned to a smile. “That’s why I love working for aristocracy; they’ll fork out ridiculous coinage for the tattiest of tat, just as long as it’s old enough.”
Varin wasn’t listening. His attention was towards the door. “Can we get on?” he said, his sensitive ears picking up on the murmurings of the palace guard. “Our entrance hasn’t exactly been subtle.”
Marcus turned to Varin, the forming of a plan making his eyes sparkle.
Varin sighed. “Let’s hear it.”
“Who are the guards looking for?” Marcus asked.
Varin looked a little confused. “Us, of course.” Marcus raised an eyebrow. “Well, me,” Varin corrected. He picked up the discarded shard of glass and slipped it back into his pocket. “Fine. You have five minutes, then I’m leaving.”
Varin swept out of the room, silent but for some whispered grumbling.
“Plenty of time,” Marcus said to himself as he cracked his fingers.
He turned back to the shard with a hungry look in his eye. “Now then, my tacky little beauty…”
*
Trayal Peak stood at the centre of the Carviann mountain range. Not the most expansive range in the world, but possibly the most foreboding. Peakview was a haven; a relative oasis in an otherwise lethal landscape of jagged ridges, rockslides, bottomless crevasses and violent winds throwing up shards of ice like the giant spears of a mythical army. In fact, so impossible was the terrain, almost every city of the world had its own legend of how the small town at the foot of the great peak had come to be where it was. One legend told of giants who’d take human slaves and built the town as some form of prison. Another claimed it was originally a part of a small island out at sea and that a great wave, that wiped out many of the mythical creatures of old, had washed it up into the mountains.
Only the townspeople themselves knew the truth. There was no real reason for them to keep the secret, but it was fun to listen to the innumerable and increasingly elaborate theories, especially as the actual origins of the town were more incredible than anything thought up by man.
However, not even the citizens of Peakview knew the origin of the palace, half built upon the seemingly inaccessible mountain, half carved from the very rock itself. The only thing they could be sure of was it was a feat of architectural wonder beyond human hands.
But there was one man who knew. One who had been told the story by the very creatures that had built the palace centuries ago.
Lord Talund Talsettie gazed out at the range from the large window of his thrown room. He felt ill-at-ease with having a throne room - he’d always thought of it as making him sound far more regal than he was - but the magnificent view eased his embarrassment.
Talund’s eyes were fixed upon one of the smaller peaks, almost a hundred miles away, to the east. It was there that his life had so drastically changed, long before he was even aware of the town at the heart of the range. There where he had been told the truth behind the legends. There where he had been made responsible, in essence, for the entire world. Even after all these years, he still had sleepless nights.
“My lord?”
Talund turned to the guard with a smooth, almost languid movement. “What is it, Bethany?” he asked, his voice calm in tone, but rich and deep.
“Someone has broken into the palace.”
There was a moment’s silence as the news sunk in and Talund formulated a response.
“You’re wrong,” he said, uncertainly.
“I’m afraid not, my lord.”
“…You’re wrong,” Talund said again.
“He is an elf, my lord. We are having difficulty keeping up with him.”
“Someone has actually managed to break into this palace?”
The guard paused, knowing how unlikely it was, but unable to deny what she’d seen with her own eyes. “He somehow got in through a window of the eastern spire.”
“Through a window?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Someone has broken into this palace…through a window?”
“Um, yes, my lord.”
“Ha.” Talund suddenly smiled as the idea finally took hold. “Well done, that man.”
“Boy,” Bethany corrected.
The lord’s eyes widened. “Boy?” His smile grew to an astonished grin. “Okay, if you can’t catch him, just keep track of him. I don’t want him hurt, but make sure he doesn’t steal anything.”
“Yes, my lord,” Bethany said with a bow and left to continue the pursuit.
Talund was still smiling when he turned back to the window. “A boy?” he said with a chuckle.
*
“Errahxa-Vantúl-Firmalta-Talvaínn!”
The words hung in the air like heavy fog and irradiated a tangible energy. A spark seemed to come from nowhere and blinked out of existence as abruptly as it had appeared.
Then another…
And another…
Faster and faster. Not one the same colour as the last.
Soon the sparks erupted from the soil like an elaborate firework, arching into the air and returning to the spot from where they came, colliding and exploding like a living kaleidoscope until eventually forming into a small flame, which gradually grew into a cosy fire.
“You know, a match and some kindling would have the same effect,” Shalandra said, entirely unimpressed.
“Yes, but it wouldn’t be as pretty,” replied the mage, warming his hands. “Besides, what if you don’t have a match and some kindling?”
“And I find myself lost in the northlands?”
“It could happen.”
“Three-thousand miles from home.”
“You never know.”
“My father is paying you too much, Morriale.”
The mage smiled broadly. “I agree. But who am I to complain?”
Shalandra’s attention drifted. “Is it lunch time yet?”
“You had breakfast twenty minutes ago. Now, repeat after me. Errahxa…”
*
The palace guard were getting irate. They were tired, confused and anxious that the illusive elf was planning to do more than just give them the run around. If his motives went beyond frustrating a regiment of soldiers who hadn’t seen any kind of action for far too long, then there wasn’t much they could do about it.
But Varin was also tiring. Three guards had stopped in a storeroom to catch their breath and there was only so long the elf could suspend himself out of sight in the rafters. He tried to distract himself with the conversation going on below, but his arms were starting to shake.
“We don’t get paid enough for this,” one of the guards moaned. “This is supposed to be a quiet post.”
“We signed up to be guards,” another argued. “Personally I’m glad to finally be seeing some action.”
“You’re crazy,” said the first guard. “I’m exhausted, and you don’t exactly look to be in your prime.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s calling you fat.” The third guard spoke up for the first time. Bethany seemed slightly less breathless than her male companions, but Varin could sense her heart pounding just as hard. She just hid it better.
“Fat am I, Ballmer?!”
Ballmer - guard number one - scowled at the third guard. The third guard turned her eyes up, innocently.
Varin groaned.
*
“Eureka,” Marcus whispered as the transparent case housing the shard pealed open. It hadn’t been as easy as he thought it would be. For all the case looked basic, it was sturdy with an intricate locking mechanism that went as far as sealing the hinges when the main lock was picked.
But then, however intricate, it was still just a lock, and Marcus had an intimate understanding of locks. In fact, he had a love for anything even vaguely mechanical. While other children at the orphanage were playing with hand-stitched animals and carved wooden dolls, Marcus was building his first mechanical mouse. It was made up of nothing more than string and wood, but it was the care and imagination with which he’d put it together that made other children jealous of his toy, and the monks jealous of his skill.
Marcus’s fingers tingled as he reached for the emerald shard. It was a strange sensation. It was nothing more impressive than a broken stone, but for some reason Marcus felt like he should be in awe. There was a deeper essence to the stone that made his palms sweat and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
“Go ahead. See how it feels.”
Marcus span ‘round to find a tall man with long greying hair smiling at him.
“Oh,” said the man, “you’re not him, are you?”
“Not who?” Marcus said, not particularly interested in the answer. His mind was already busy working on an escape plan.
“You’re not the one causing my guards so much trouble. He’s just a distraction isn’t he? Clever.”
“People don’t hire us for our brawn.”
Talund’s smile grew and there was a genuine twinkle in his eye. No, Marcus thought. Not a twinkle. That’s a spark!
“You are certainly an intelligent young man,” Talund said, his voice suddenly an octave lower and with a deep resonance to it, “but you are also a fool. You have no concept of what it is you’re stealing.”
“As far as we’re concerned it’s food and board.”
“It’s power, boy. Immense and uncontrollable power.”
“A lot of food and board then.”
Talund couldn’t decide if the young thief was being ironic, or if he really believed he could escape with the shard and earn his fortune. Whatever he believed, the lord of Peakview wasn’t about to let it happen.
“That gem is nothing but trouble, boy, for you and the rest of the world. And I cannot let you leave with it.”
Yelling and sounds of clattering furniture and bodies suddenly spewed from the corridors. One of the palace’s guards hit the floor messily and Varin bounced over the top of him, followed by three more, led by Bethany; red, sweaty and flustered.
Marcus made a grab for the shard, but Talund caught him by the hood of his cloak.
Varin sprinted for the door. He jumped and swung inside on the handle, dragging the door shut behind him. There was a thud as at least two of the guards ran headlong into the ancient wood.
Talund was distracted. Marcus slipped from his cloak and grabbed the shard. Talund reached for him, but Varin grabbed his arm. He tried to shake him off while simultaneously catching the chest that had held the shard as it was thrown at him.
“Good hands,” Marcus commented.
“Strong too,” Varin said, still struggling.
He released Talund who again reached for Marcus. Marcus slid the shard along the floor to Varin. Talund almost got there first, but the elf darted between his legs, scooped it up and ran back through the door just as the guards managed to pry it open. There were more shouts and curses as the pursuit picked up again.
Marcus was grinning when Talund turned back to him. To Marcus’s surprise, the spark in Talund’s eye brightened and suddenly flared.
*
Being an elf, Varin had relatively no weight to carry. His supple limbs and small, tightly-packed muscles made him as quick and nimble as a cat, while his youth gave him unrivalled vigour.
All the same, the endless running was becoming tiresome. The pursuing guards had long-since come to a breathless halt; their muscles burning, their energy drained, their exhaustion crippling.
Varin turned into yet another corridor, this one a dead-end. He felt like he’d covered the entire palace, but something told him he’d only seen a fraction of its labyrinthine interior. He stopped and leaned against a wall. For the first time, he looked at the emerald shard. There seemed to be nothing particularly special about the broken gem. It still maintained some of its emerald sheen, but it was faded and dull.
And yet…
“Stunning, isn’t it?”
Varin looked up in surprise and saw Talund standing at the far end of the corridor. Other than the way he’d came, Varin knew there was no other way into the corridor. His keen elfish sense would have told him of any hidden doors or secret passages. The walls were solid and there was nothing but sky beyond the one at Talund’s back.
“It might not look like much,” Talund went on, “but you can sense that there is more to it than its exterior.”
“I could say the same thing about you,” Varin replied. His ears twitched at the sound of the approaching guard.
“There is a reason I was chosen to protect that shard,” Talund said, more as a warning than a boast.
Out of the corner of his eye, Varin saw a small window high up on the outer wall. He really didn’t want to, but he was out of options. He casually took his now faithful piece of broken glass from his pocket.
“And there is a reason we were chosen to steal it,” he said before running up the wall and diving through the window.
*
Shalandra stared morosely at the smouldering leaf on the floor in front of her. After eight attempts, it was the best she could do.
“I don’t understand it,” said Morriale. “Even my slowest students managed at least a candle by their fifth attempt.”
“Maybe I just don’t have the gift.”
“Impossible! Don’t you know whose daughter you are?”
“I always preferred fencing anyway,” Shalandra said as if she hadn’t heard the question. “At least I can feel the sword.”
“You should be able to feel the words. They are in your blood.”
The young girl looked her tutor dead in the eye, only partly hesitant over what she was about to say. “Maybe it’s my mother’s blood that runs through me.”
Shalandra expected a rise from Morriale - an angered command never to utter those words again, just like the first time - but the mage merely sighed. “Shalandra, please, we have been over this. What your mother did…”
“Makes her no less a part of me,” Shalandra interrupted.
“No. But I know you, child. I have known you since birth. You are nothing like your mother. You would never betray your father, or our people, as she did.”
Shalandra looked back to the smouldering leaf. “What if you’re wrong?”
Morriale smiled and wrapped his arms around his would-be protégé. “Then I shall smite you myself.”
Shalandra laughed. “Not if I run you through first.”
*
A small slither of light gave Marcus a large feeling of relief. The dark, dank passage wasn’t nearly as long as he’d expected it to be, but it was long enough. He’d almost lost his footing five times on the steep steps carved out of the cave floor. The strange scraping sound that seemed to echo from within the very walls of the cave was the last straw.
As the blinding light from Lord Talsetti’s eyes faded, Marcus had found himself alone in the dark room that had housed the shard. In the distance he could hear the commotion of the chase rising in pitch. There was no sign of Talund.
After a little searching, Marcus found a spiral staircase that seemed to wind from the very top of the palace to the basement. He followed it all the way down and found himself in a store room full of wheat, rice, seeds and fruit. A small corner of his brain wondered at the logistics of getting so much food up here and how often the task would have to be undertaken. The rest of his mind was focused on finding a way out.
Five doors led out of the storeroom. Two of the doors were signed; one leading to the kitchen, the other to the main dining hall. The other three doors seemed to lead into the mountain. Knowing how unlikely it was he’d be allowed to simply stroll through the front door, Marcus sniffed out the tunnel with the crispest air, offered a quick prayer to the goddess of good fortune and headed into the darkness.
It wasn’t long before Marcus emerged on the mountainside. His heart sank when he looked over the edge to see another part of the palace a few hundred metres below, but he was quickly distracted by the scraping sound coming from inside the cave. It seemed to be getting quickly louder.
Suddenly there was cry from above. “I can’t stop!”
Marcus looked up to see Varin hurtling down the mountain, a trail of stone and ice falling behind him, carved away by the small shard of glass in his hand. Marcus quickly lodged the grappling hook into the ground and threw the rope straight up. Varin managed to catch the end of it, despite the speed of his decent, and threw himself out into the air, narrowly avoiding the ledge. He seemed to fall forever before the rope finally went taught and he was swung harshly into the rock face.
Marcus winced at the impact. “That sounded like his shoulder again.”
*
Although the facts were blurred, the story was famous throughout the region. Shalandra’s father was on the verge of becoming the chief mage of his school - many suggested High Sorcerer - when his wife, jealous of her husband’s power and afraid he would turn his back on her if he achieved his new rank, conspired with one of his superiors to have him held back and his power stripped away. A bitter struggle ensued and the then-chief was cast down following a bitter defeat. Shalandra’s mother disappeared into the wilds.
And so began the rule of High Sorcerer Jarn Cal’Unne Velcine in the region of Serritt-Pryde.
Jarn gazed out over the crystal ocean stretching beyond the horizon. A thousand miles away lay the eastern continent, from its culturally rich coastlines to its primitive, landlocked regions. And somewhere between the continents, the Mouth of World, the legendary gathering place of the ancient dragon lords; themselves now little more than legend.
“You’re back.”
Jarn turned from the view and smiled at his daughter. “Yes. Just now.”
Shalandra embraced her father and Jarn leaned down to give her a gentle kiss on the head.
“How was your business?” the young girl asked.
“On going. I must leave again in a few days. And your studies?” Shalandra hesitated. “That well?” Jarn said, dryly.
“I just can’t grasp the words.”
“Yes. Morriale tells me you’re happier with a sword in your hand.”
“You’ve spoken to him already?”
“He told me before I left.” Shalandra pulled away from her father in surprise. Jarn was on the verge of laughter.
“He already knew?!”
“He has known for some time. That is why we agreed to your concentrating on the sword. Not everyone has the gift.”
Shalandra’s eyes blazed. “Then why the lessons?”
“I just wanted you out of trouble while I was away.”
Shalandra hit her father in the leg as hard as she could. Jarn laughed and held the girl close.
*
The two thieves skidded to halt just above the lower section of the palace. Varin had only just stopped complaining about his shoulder and promising bitter revenge.
“What do you hear?” Marcus whispered.
“The warning has already reached them. They’re preparing for us and sending men into the town, just in case.”
“So all exits are covered?”
“… There’s the mountainside.”
“We can make it down there?”
“I can.”
“So what do I do?”
Varin shrugged. “Turn yourself in?”
“Something else.”
“I don’t have anything else. You’re the planner, remember?”
“Fine. Just give me a minute.”
---
As the sun descended over the Carvianns, the atmosphere in town built steadily for the night’s carnival. In the lower palace, the excitement was tinged with angst. The thieves were still at large and the palace guard were all too aware, if the shard was not found, a great many of them would be sent out into the range, where missing the party would be the least of their worries.
The lower palace was very much like a self-contained village. Within the high, strong walls sat a number of small houses for the guards, caterers and other staff that maintained the palace, along with three food stores and a barn.
The layout proved ideal for Marcus and Varin. The fading light and stretching shadows of the buildings offered them ample cover to evade the guards and remain out of sight. And Varin’s keen elfish senses let him know when to stay hidden and when the way was clear. It wasn’t long before they made it to the outer wall.
“I thought you said the gate would be on the north side?!”
Marcus shrugged. “North. East. South. How was I supposed to know? Logically it should be, but I’m no architect.”
Varin groaned, grabbed his friend by the lapels and pressed him against the wall, doing his best to ignore the ache in his shoulder. “Your guess work is beginning to annoy me. Of the two of us, you are supposed to be the one who knows what he is doing!”
“I do know what I’m doing,” Marcus replied confidently. “It’s just that what I’m doing requires some guess work.”
Varin let go, roughly. “Fine, then guess us a way out of here.”
“Well, it’s obvious now. If it’s not north, then it must be east, clearly.”
Varin watched Marcus stride away as self assuredly as if he had a map. “Clearly,” he muttered. “And remind me, how are we getting off the range? We can’t exactly leave the way we came.”
“There must be supply routes, Varin. It isn’t like much can be cultivated in this environment. But let’s wait until we’ve made it through the town before we start worrying about that.”
*
From atop the town’s eastern gate, Bethany Woodstock looked out over Peakview as she rolled herself a cigarette. She felt exhausted. They’d been chasing the thieves all day and now the entire palace guard were weary and aching. Bethany promised herself the allusive thieves would get a hiding, children or not.
Below her, the town was abuzz. The sun had set, the moon was high and all of the constellations had come out to oversee the festivities. Trayal and his children, Triani and Tyramol. The warlord Karak and his son Kraise, with whom Tyramol had struggled against on this very range. Nartúl, the lord of the western continent, and his mate, Larnotell, who had taken in Trayal’s children after his fall. All would be celebrated this night in song and story, dance and play, and a fireworks display so grand as to be visible beyond the borders of the Carviann range.
As Bethany took her first soothing draw on her cigarette, she allowed herself a moment to get lost in the opening song. The rocket that signalled the start of the festival shot into the air, trailing luminous green flame behind it, and exploded in myriad colours of breathtaking brilliance.
As the light faded, Bethany looked down at the astonished faces of the crowd; joy and wonder in everyone’s eyes. But something else caught her eye, a few feet from the edge of the crowd, darting between two buildings while attention was elsewhere.
Bethany grabbed her sword and darted down the steps to street level. She fought through the crowd, scanning the shadows for the thieves, but her heart sank when she realised she’d lost them again.
Then she heard a whistle. She turned and found the elf, crouched at the top of the outer wall, his partner already at the top of the climbing rope, waving at her. She opened her mouth to scream an alert to the rest of the guard, but the sound was drowned out by the whoosh of another firework. In the light of the explosion she just caught sight of a cloak disappearing over the wall.
God, the Devil and Bob
05:45, 13-Aug-2007
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I don't know what it was that put me in mind of this today, but in mind it came, and so followed a trip to YouTube to find some:
Crimes Against Music
09:13, 11-Aug-2007
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The Now Show - a satirical look at the week's news - is broadcast on Radio4 on a Friday night and features a bloke called Mitch Benn:
How to Advertise a Video Game
10:10, 9-Aug-2007
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The Gift That Keeps on Giving
07:38, 9-Aug-2007
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I've just watched last night's Daily Show, featuring an interview with a Saturday Night Live contributer, that reminded me of this:
For those who don't know, the one in the blonde wig is who you think it is.
Belonging to Night - Ch.2
05:55, 9-Aug-2007
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Continued (from this) by popular demand:
December 20th
An art lover he wasn’t. In fact, if Sergeant Jerry Malone was entirely honest with himself, the Guggenheim gave him the creeps. The major exhibition being held had had something or other to do with religious extremism down the ages, and all of the psychotic indulgences that came with it. The demolition of the exhibit had done little to improve its charm.
The bizarre circumstances of the case didn’t help either. Two security guards and one civilian dead and an officer a step shy of the loony bin. From what Jerry could garner from the security footage, two men had somehow broken into the museum (none of the footage showed exactly how), had an almighty brawl and left quite violently via the main entrance. The two security guards had of course stepped in to try to stop the fight, each receiving a broken neck with alarming ease.
A young tour guide, dressed like an airline stewardess - right down to the one-too-many layers of makeup - was filling Jerry in on some of the museum’s history, the inspirations for the wrecked exhibit and a mini biog of the artist responsible. Jerry had stopped listening shortly after, “Here at the Guggenheim…” His attention was instead drawn to a woman, crouched by one of the fallen works, sniffing at it intently.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” Jerry said to no response. “Ma’am…? Hey, lady!”
Finally the woman turned around, and Jerry felt like he’d been punched in the chest. She was beautiful! About 5’9”, 5’10”; long, sleek, black hair; brown eyes; slim, but not without curves. If not for her deathly pale complexion, Jerry would have called her perfect.
“I apologise, detective,” the woman said with a voice that made him feel like he was lying on a bed of cotton wool, “I was distracted.”
“Err, yeah…” Jerry said as if he was struggling to remember why he’d dragged this woman away from her clearly important work. “Well… This is a…um…crime-scene. Are you supposed to be here?”
The woman smiled serenely, feigning mild embarrassment, and Jerry could feel a wave euphoria building in the pit of his stomach. “No, not really. I was just curious.”
“Oh…” Jerry whispered. “Okay…”
A museum rep suddenly cut in on the conversation and Jerry felt himself fall from his inexplicable high. “Excuse me. Miss Callaghan?”
“Yes?” the woman said.
“A message just arrived for you.” The rep handed Miss Callaghan a yellow post-it note.
“Thank you,” she said, and her serene smile broadened as she read:
Jo, I know what you’re up to.
Please stop sticking your nose in and let the police do their job.
M
Please stop sticking your nose in and let the police do their job.
M
“I am sorry, Sergeant Malone,” Josephine said. “I’ll intrude no further. Goodbye.”
Despite himself, Jerry tipped his hat to the strange woman and heard himself say, “Not at all. Anything I can do to help.”
“Well there was one thing. Do you have a name for the victim?”
The victim? Who does this woman think she is? Jerry thought, but said, “We believe his name was ‘Carver’,” much to his own confusion.
“I thank you, sergeant,” Josephine said.
“Ah-ha,” Jerry replied absently.
---
Josephine left the museum troubled. It had been a very long time since she’d heard of two of her kind fighting in this way. The last time had been a brutal power struggle that cost many lives.
She walked straight out into the road, ignoring the early morning traffic. There was some squealing of brakes and some puzzled looks from drivers, but not a horn was honked or raised word uttered.
Josephine sniffed the air as she walked and stopped abruptly in the middle of the road. She crouched down and laid her hand on the asphalt. A few hours earlier, this patch of the road had been examined; in particular the ash that had been found right on the spot where Sergeant Powell said the victim had been killed. Other than the ash and the few spots of blood, the snow was fresh and clean. The forensics unit gathered what little they could and gave the area the all clear and the city’s street cleaners immediately set about clearing the road for the morning’s rush-hour.
“Who was it who took your life, Mr. Carver?” Josephine asked as if expecting a response. She was quiet and very still for some time before she eventually stood and returned to the sidewalk. “In that case, I will just have to ask Mr. Powell.”
*
Sean Powell awoke with the kind of hangover that turns students teetotal. He’d never been a big drinker, but it had taken a significant amount of alcohol to put him to sleep after his experience at the Guggenheim. The buzzer in his apartment was like a power drill in his ear.
It was 9am. Sean pealed himself from his sweat-soaked bed sheet and felt his brain pounding against the back of his skull as if desperately trying to escape. He padded slowly across his cold floor, rubbing his tired eyes, almost kicking his cat the length of the apartment.
“Not now, Minnie,” he moaned as the cat pawed at the bare feet she’d skilfully dodged.
Sean had found Minnie a few Christmases ago while out on patrol. The small, grey kitten looked cold and hungry so he put her in his pocket and took her back to the station.
Steph had cooed maternally. “Aw, who’s your friend?”
“Dunno. Found her loitering outside of Macey’s.”
“She’s adorable! What are you going call her?”
“Hmm…” Sean thought for a moment. “How about Minnie?”
“Why Minnie?”
“My grandma had a Chihuahua called Minnie. Irritating little bastard, but cute.”
Minnie was still snuggling Sean’s feet as he pushed the button on his intercom. “Yeah?”
“Oh! Sean dear, it’s Mrs. Abigail.”
“Ok, Maggie. Give me a minute and I’ll be right down.”
Sean looked down at his cat with bloodshot eyes and a tired smile. “That’s what happens when someone thanks you for a favor and you say ‘anytime’.”
Margaret Abigail had lived in Sean’s building since the ‘30s when the place was first built. Sean had always seen her as a bit of a kook, but admirably spry for a woman her age. She had to be too, living on the second floor of a building with an elevator that seemed to work for only two days out of the entire year. This wasn’t one of those days and so Maggie would need help with her shopping.
She greeted Sean in the lobby with a toothy grin and a truck-load of groceries.
“Jesus, Maggie, how’d you drag all that back here?”
“Oh, it’s just a few odds and ends,” Maggie said dismissively.
Sean was about to argue the difference between ‘odds and ends’ and enough food to feed the precinct, but thought better of it. It was too early in the day to get into a semantic argument over groceries.
Sean gathered up as many bags as he could, leaving the lightest two for his aged neighbour, and headed up the stairs while Maggie cursed the building’s superintendent for neglecting his responsibilities.
It was another thirty minutes before Sean finally left Maggie’s apartment after somehow finding room for her year’s worth of shopping in her tiny kitchen. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and promised himself another hour’s sleep.
A hand suddenly wrapped around Sean’s mouth with an iron grip and he was yanked ‘round, face-to-face with the killer he’d seen the night before.
“Aren’t you a pet,” the killer snarled.
*
Sunrise lit up the Hamptons, magnified by its reflection off the snow. Zara had been eager to stay up with her mother and Gabriel, but her young body had given in to tiredness soon after four. Josephine had left for Manhattan a short time later.
Gabriel stood on the balcony outside of his grandfather’s bedroom, drinking coffee and looking out over the picturesque landscape through pitch-black sunglasses. He was keen to get back to his apartment in the city and curl up in bed with any trace of the sunlight blocked out by his thick drapes. But he had a place to go, and a person to see.
---
A short time later, Gabriel pulled up outside of the palatial home of Cameron Grayson; the sun, now high over the ocean view, weighing heavily upon him.
The intercom outside the main gate buzzed before Gabriel had the chance to push the button. “Mr. Grayson does not like being kept waiting,” a high-class voice rang clearly from the speaker.
“Do convey my sincerest apologies,” Gabriel said with a distinct lack of sincerity.
Some distance from the speaker within the mansion another voice, cracked with age, said, “Just let him in, Wilbur.”
There was a brief silence, then the whir of heavy motors as the large gate opened up. Gabriel smiled just a little as he drove through.
The long, gravel driveway led to a grand, white mansion. It wasn’t much larger than Gabriel’s grandfather’s home, but it was big enough to draw an impressed whistle.
A man stood in the open doorway, hands clasped behind his back, posture solid, uniform pressed to perfection. You must be Wilbur, Gabriel thought.
As he stepped out of the car and headed up towards the front door, the butler looked Gabriel up and down, looked towards the car and then back again. The young man must barely have been in his mid-twenties. His neck-length hair hung down over his pale face. He wore a long, black coat that fell almost to his ankles, a plain, white sweater, dark jeans and trainers. Gabriel raised an inquisitive eyebrow from behind his sunglasses.
“Mr…Callaghan?” Wilbur sounded unsure.
“You were expecting something else?”
“Yes,” came the flat reply.
“Sorry to disappoint.”
There was then a pause before Gabriel asked, “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
The butler was a little surprised by the young man’s unexpected show of manners but said, “Yes, of course.”
Gabriel remained still as the butler stood aside and issued him forth. Another pause. The butler stared at him, desperately trying to think of what it was he was missing.
Gabriel sighed. “You have to say the words.”
“Oh, of course. Please, come in.”
“Thank you,” Gabriel said as he entered, the roll of his eyes hidden behind his dark glasses.
The exterior of the mansion was humbled by its grandiose interior. The entire décor was gold, marble and oak. Rich, red carpeting swept up a huge, curved staircase and large, gilded-framed portraits hung from every wall.
Gabriel got a strange feeling from the floor above. “A bit much, isn’t it?” he said.
“It took a long time for Mr. Grayson to amass his fortune. Only right he should enjoy it,” Wilber replied. “This way.”
The butler led Gabriel down a corridor to a suitably large dining room. At the far end of a long, oak table an old man sat in a wheelchair, eating a puréed breakfast. At his side stood possibly the second biggest man Gabriel had ever seen; almost 7 ft tall and at least as wide as the mansion’s front door.
“You’re late, Mr. Callaghan,” Cameron Grayson said between sips of his food. “When you work for me, Mr Callaghan, I expect you to make the effort and arrive on time.”
“It’s morning, Mr. Grayson,” Gabriel said in similar tone. “And besides, I do not work for you, Mr Grayson. We do business, nothing more.”
Cameron stopped eating and looked directly at the young man daring to address him so impertinently. The man-mountain at his side shifted expectantly and Gabriel felt Wilber step back.
“Then perhaps you’ll join me for a nightcap?” Cameron said with a humoured smile. His employees visibly relaxed and Gabriel nodded in appreciation. “Wilber, a whiskey, neat, for our guest. And I shall take my brandy now.” Wilber had to forcibly stop himself from pointing out it wasn’t yet ten-thirty.
“Please take a seat, Mr. Callaghan.”
As he moved to sit down, Gabriel eyed the bodyguard. “How do you do?” he said cheerfully. There was no response. “Good to know,” Gabriel said, patting the man on his rock-solid tricep. “Maybe you should cut down on his caffeine,” he said to his host as he sat.
Wilber served the drinks, bowed to his master and took his leave. “Maxwell, you may also go,” Cameron said, and the towering bodyguard did as he was told, though not before glancing down at Gabriel with just the hint of a sneer.
“Really fills you with a sense joy, doesn’t he,” Gabriel quipped.
Grayson ignored the comment and eyed his brandy regretfully. “In my state of health I’m afraid this must be a rare delicacy.”
“You can live happy or you can live long,” Gabriel said philosophically.
Grayson smiled again. “I guess that is a decision we humans must all make at some time in our lives.”
“So,” Gabriel said, taking his glass from the table and leaning back in the chair, “what is it I can do for you?”
“Ah yes, to business. I need you to find someone for me.”
“Any specific someone?”
“My son.”
Gabriel sipped his drink then said simply, “No.”
Cameron blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“The answer is no. I don’t get involved in family affairs.”
“As simple as that? You’re not even curious as to why I need him found.”
Gabriel finished off his drink with a second sip. “I would’ve thought you’d want him found because you’re a parent worried about his son. If that’s not the case, I’m even less interested.”
Gabriel stood and turned to leave, only to be confronted by Grayson’s bodyguard, like a brick wall in a t-shirt.
“People do not simply refuse me, Mr. Callaghan,” Grayson said triumphantly.
Gabriel wasn’t listening. “Move,” he said, looking the big man in the eye.
The bodyguard leaned down ‘til he was at Gabriel’s height and replied, “Make me.”
Gabriel sighed, placed two fingers in the centre of the bodyguard’s chest and furrowed his brow apologetically.
---
Wilber stood outside the dining room, using a tea-tray as a mirror while he tried to pick a porridge oat from between his teeth. He hadn’t noticed it before, but suddenly it was bugging him.
Who does that boy think he is? Wilber thought as he checked his teeth for remnants of the oat. Coming into someone else’s home and behaving like that. He should be taught some manners.
Wilber’s train of thought was abruptly derailed as Maxwell, the household’s mountainous bodyguard, burst through the dining room’s doors, flew a few feet and hit the floor hard, starring up at the ceiling in disbelief.
“You look beautiful.”
The words came so unexpectedly, the butler very nearly joined Maxwell on the floor. He turned and found Gabriel at his side, wearing the slightest of smiles.
“Could you direct me to the lady of the house?” he asked.
“Um, Lady Marie died some time ago.”
“I’m well aware of that, Wilber. I was in fact referring to Miss Grayson.”
“Oh, I see.” Wilber regained some of his well-practised composure. “She is in her room, entertaining guests.”
“Thanks.”
Gabriel began to walk away, then stopped. “Sorry pal,” he said to the still bemused Maxwell.
*
Josephine had a bad feeling the moment she arrived at Sean Powell’s apartment building. Someone had been there before her. Someone she hadn’t met, but who was already familiar. She walked up to the front door and knew before trying it that it was locked. She closed her eyes and laid her hand over the lock. A few seconds later, the door opened.
The scent hit her before she’d even stepped inside. She took a deep breath through her nose and released it slowly. Sean Powell had been carried up to his apartment. There, he and whoever else had stayed for no more than half an hour before coming back down and heading for the basement…
Then someone else had arrived, not ten minutes ago. They’d followed the same route, first to the apartment, then to the basement.
Josephine decided to do the same, but first she had to make a call.
“Yeah?”
Josephine sighed. “Gabriel, how many times have I told you the correct term is ‘hello’?”
“Enough that you should’ve given up by now?”
Josephine knew better than to rise to the bait. “How was your meeting?” she asked.
“Brief. I don’t think Cameron Grayson likes me much.”
“Gabriel, I do wish you would at least try to be more patient with people.”
“Even the rich?”
“Yes, even them.
“Where are you now?” she said before Gabriel could argue.
“I’m going to check on the daughter. I get a strange feeling from her.”
“What kind of feeling?”
“Not sure. I’ll tell you when I’ve checked it out.”
“Okay, but Gabriel…”
“Yes?”
“Do try not to cause any trouble.”
A little late for that, Gabriel thought, but just said, “I’ll try, Aunt Jo.”
“Thank you.”
They said their goodbyes and hung-up. Josephine stared at her phone for a moment and sighed. Gabriel had always done his best keep hidden exactly what it was he did for a living, but Josephine had been around far too long for him to keep her in the dark. She knew. He knew she knew. But she pretended not to know and in turn he pretended not to know she knew. It made perfect sense to both of them.
Besides which, she trusted him implicitly, despite his reluctance to tell her what it was he’d done to upset Cameron Grayson. He was young,